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Clips from The Simpsons - Pokey Mom (S12E12)

"Oh, God! My back!"
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"Let's get out of this gosh-forsaken heck-hole."
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"All right."
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"- They are coming back for us, aren't they? - I don't know."
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"- How's your back, Dad? - Well, there's a dull ache certainly."
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"And overlaid on that is a club sandwich of pain."
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"Only instead of bacon there's agony."
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"Marge, can I have a B.L. T?"
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"What are you looking at?"
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"How would you feel if I did some volunteer work at the prison?"
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"First, I'd feel like having a B.L.T. - then proud of you."
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"Oh, Homie, I knew you'd support me."
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"Oh, my back!"
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"Ooh, art class."
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"La-di-da."
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"This is Ike Pross. He's going to solitary."
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"La-di-da."
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"Not literally, of course."
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"Okay. Now, I wanted to paint fresh fruit."
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"But the prison cafeteria would only give me sauerkraut."
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"That's depressing."
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"- Question? - Can I smell your dress?"
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"This one here's not for smellin'."
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"- Why thank you, Jack. - No problem. Now, let's paint."
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"Hey, can I smell your clothes?"
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"Your spine is more twisted than Sinbad's take on marriage."
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"So? Just give me some drugs and surgery."
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"modern medicine has a lousy record of treating the back."
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"We spend too much time on the front."
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"Yeah, there's some neat stuff on the front."
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"I'm gonna send you to my chiropractor."
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"Hey, I thought real doctors hated chiropractors."
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"Well, that is our official stance."
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"But between you, me and my golf clubs, they're miracle workers."
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"That's charming, Sardonicus."
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"But try to use less of a stabbing action..."
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"and more of a brushing stroke."
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"There. See how much better that feels?"
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"Yes. Much better."
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"Well, if you really gotta know, I shot a guy named Apu."
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"It's just a hundred-dollar fine now."
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"Maybe I belong in here. I got a lotta anger."
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"Um, do you have a title?"
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""A Time to Kill.""
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"Titles are hard."
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"Mmm."
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"Get-Wake up, Homer!"
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"Now, Homer, we don't actually crack backs."
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"It's merely an adjustment."
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"Okay, you're gonna hear a loud cracking sound."
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"There we go."
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"- Hey. It feels a little better. - Mm-hmm. I thought it might."
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"Now, I'll need to see you three times a week for, uh, many years."
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"- So how was it in the slammer? - Terrific."
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"Bart, Sideshow Bob says he'll be seeing you real soon."
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"That Bob!"
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"- That scary guy? - Scary talented."
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"I might grease the wheels of justice with some cookies."
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"- Oh, can I have some? - Not till you finish your sundae."
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"Ohh!"
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"But I've seen this warden turn down brownies- honest to goodness brownies!"
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"Next!"
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"Oh, it's you."
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"Well, just let me ink up my old "denied" stamp."
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"I know he's made mistakes, but someone with his talent..."
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"belongs on a boardwalk doing caricatures, not behind bars."
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"but he wasn't so polite to the guy he shot."
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"Well, that's mighty nice."
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"But if I let this creep out, would you like him skulking around your neighborhood?"
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"Honestly, it wouldn't bother me."
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"- Yeah, let's do it. - Well, lady, I'm gonna call your bluff."
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"The prisoner is hereby paroled into your custody."
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"I'm free? Oh, Mrs. Simpson."
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"Oh, geez, I'm sorry."
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"Sorry."
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"You won't regret this."
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"- It's not very prison-y. - It's more than I deserve, ma'am."
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"Uh, Mecca? Well, let-"
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"Nah! I'm just yanking your chain!"
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"- Did you do those exercises he gave you? - Yeah, right."
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"I did 'em while you were studying."
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"- Oh! Ow! - Dad, are you okay?"
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"Yeah. In fact, I feel fantastic!"
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"That trash can must've unkinked your back!"
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"Not trash can, Son... Dr. Homer's Miracle Spine-O-Cylinder!"
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"- Patent pending. - Okay, okay."
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"And as you can see, the unique dents in my invention..."
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"perfectly match the contours of the human "vertebrains.""
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"Hmm. Patent pending, patent pending, patent pending."
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"- Hey, who's this guy? - You rememberJack."
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"That's right, a job."
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"I know just where you can get one."
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"So, Homer, you think you can fix my sciatica?"
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"- Now go limp. - I'm limp."
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"One, two, better not sue."
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"Hey, it worked! My searing leg pain is now a gentle numbness."
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"- Next! - Yes, uh, my car seems to have broken down..."
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"Simpson, you're not a licensed chiropractor."
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"And you're stealing patients from me and Dr. Steffi."
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"Boy, talk about irony."
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"The A.M.A. Tries to drive you guys out of business."
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"Now you're doing the same to me!"
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"Think about the irony."
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"Not unless you think about the irony!"
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"that you need someone to paint a mural."
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"Yes. School spirit is down 3.4 percent."
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"- Well, Jack here will do great work for you. - Oh, any references?"
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"Well, to be honest with you, I spent the last six years in Waterville State-"
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"It's a small liberal arts college."
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"Well, the only other one to apply was Moe Szyslak..."
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"and his stuff scares the hell out of me."
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"Ew! How could anyone consider that making love?"
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"I'll clear you out a cubby."
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"- Farm couple? - But I got a good feelin' about this one, Marge. I really do."
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"That is awesome. Finally, art that doesn't suck."
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"Dear Lord! What are you doing?"
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"- You don't like it? - No, no! It's all wrong."
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"- A shapely female form has no place in art. - But what I thought is-"
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"Did you even look at the napkin?"
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"Oh, I was in the zone that day."
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