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Clips from Three's Company - Cyrano de Tripper (S02E02)

"Yeah. Hey, what you got there?"
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"What's more important than Peter Frampton?"
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"the leaky faucet in the kitchen? Yeah, it's been acting very strange lately."
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"Now, the salad."
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"Dressing meet the salad.""
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"Fresh parsley, chopped shallots... Salt."
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"fresh parsley... What?"
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"Would you excuse me a minute?"
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"Thanks."
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"I live here too. With Jack?"
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"Incidentally, I found Greece fascinating."
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"Oh, no, no. I'm just saying that you have the mouth of a rhinoceros."
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"James Beard and Robert Carrier. All I can say is..."
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"What? No, no! He's not enjoying what he's doing."
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"Yeah. He has to do it hiding in the kitchen."
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"But it would have made Jack too nervous."
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"[ Together ] What?"
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"and just the dashiest dash of Tabasco."
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"After you two went down to The Regal Beagle,"
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"And then? Then he turned the lights down,"
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"♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪"
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"♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪ ♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪"
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"♪ Where the kisses are hers and hers and his ♪"
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"♪ Three's company too ♪"
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"♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪ ♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪"
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"♪ Take a step that is new ♪ ♪ Take a step that is new ♪"
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"♪ We've a lovable space that needs your face ♪"
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"♪ Three's company too ♪"
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"♪ You'll see that life is a ball again ♪"
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"♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪"
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"♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪"
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"♪ Three is company too ♪"
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"♪ Down at our rendezvous Three is company too ♪♪"
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"Well, how's my gorgeous little roommate today?"
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"Oh. Hey, hey! You want to come over here and say that?"
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"Why? This plant could use some fertilizer."
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"Okay. Plant, you are gorgeous!"
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"Yeah, looks pretty good, doesn't it? Yeah."
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"All I did was repot it and cut it back a little."
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"And Mrs. Roper's got a plant that's as good as new!"
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"Well, if you could do the same thing to Mr. Roper, she'd be delirious."
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"[ Giggles ]"
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"Oh, it's a present for Chrissy: the new Peter Frampton album."
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"[ Gasps ] Is this her birthday?"
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"No, I just know how much she likes him, and..."
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"Oh! Oh, oh, oh, well, it's not my birthday either."
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"Janet, it's not exactly a present. I just thought it would be nice..."
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"to listen to it tonight with Chrissy."
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"Just you and Chrissy? What am I supposed to do? Put plugs in my ears?"
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"Will you stop twisting everything I say? I bought it for all of us."
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"Oh. Well, in that case, thank you very much. You're welcome."
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"And I'll be sure to turn it up real loud..."
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"so you can hear it from your room."
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"Ooh, listen, you... No, no, no. Sense of humor! Sense of humor!"
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"It's for all of us. That's better."
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"Think maybe I'll take this down to Mrs. Roper."
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"Oh, don't forget to tell Mr. Roper about that leaky faucet in the kitchen."
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"Oh! Thanks for reminding me."
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"Hi! Hi! Happy Unbirthday!"
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"Oh, Jack. I've got to talk to you."
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"Michael Winthrop. What's he recorded?"
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"He's the guy I've been dating, remember?"
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"Oh, yeah. Michael "The Gourmet" Winthrop."
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"Don't talk about him like that."
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"I happen to like him. And I've invited him here for dinner."
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"Dinner? You planning to send out?"
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"- No, he's expecting me to cook. - You?"
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"Chrissy, you can't cook."
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"Don't you remember what happened when you tried to make spaghetti?"
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"Well, I just wanted to make sure that it was thoroughly mixed with the sauce."
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"But you don't do that in a blender."
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"You made us a spaghetti malted."
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"Well, I just thought it would be faster."
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"The correct way is to mix the sauce in a bowl,"
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"then pour it gently over the spaghetti."
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"See? You just taught me how to make "basghetti.""
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"Now, if you could give me a few more hints... Hints?"
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"Cooking is not hints. Cooking is an art. It takes years to learn."
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"Oh, please!"
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"Well, I suppose I could give you a few pointers."
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"With a lot of practice, and a lot of time, maybe..."
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"I suppose eventually... When's this guy coming? Tonight."
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"Toni... Tonight? So if you could start..."
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"Can we go in the kitchen now? Tonight? Chrissy,"
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"the only way you could cook dinner tonight would be if I cooked it for you."
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"Oh, Jack, I knew I could count on you. Oh! Now, wait. Chrissy. Chrissy!"
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"[ Chrissy Giggles ] [ Chattering ]"
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"Aah! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."
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"Are you all right? Chrissy, speak to me!"
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"Speak to me. Uh, poor kid must have passed out."
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"I-I... I was giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation."
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"- Standing up? - Oh, well, hey. It's the best way."
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"- She looks all right to me. - Well, see? It works!"
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"You know what I think? I think you and Chris... Mr. Roper,"
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"Not the only thing strange around here."
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"I don't care what Jack says, they were kissing!"
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"- I know a kiss when I see one. - I didn't think you had that good a memory."
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"Helen, I'm serious."
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"How were they doing it, Stanley? Show me."
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"Helen, this is no time to fool around."
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"Okay, you want to make an appointment?"
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"Wait, do you think he's been pulling the wool over my eyes?"
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"Aw, come on, Stanley."
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"Nobody's smart enough to do that to you."
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"That's true, that's true."
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"But what about all those times we saw Jack down at the Regal Beagle..."
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"- with all those girls? - Oh, those girls were just pals."
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"Why would a gay guy want to pal around with so many girls?"
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"To see how the other half lives?"
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"What about the time he took out my niece?"
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"I bet he tried somethin' that night."
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"You know, there's one thing you've never understood, Stanley."
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"Trying is not doing."
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"Okay. Okay. But if I find out that Tinkerbell..."
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"has stopped ringin', I'm gonna throw him out on his ear."
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"Look, isn't that pretty? How do you like it?"
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"- What is it? - It's macramé!"
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"I'm making a holder for my pot."
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"You knitting yourself a girdle?"
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"It's for hanging my plant that Janet fixed for me."
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