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Clips from Taxi - Come as You Aren't (S01E01)

"The only guy I know that never told a lie was my dad."
Taxi
"Come on. Never?"
Taxi
"Nope. He once told me"
Taxi
""John, remember your father's words."
Taxi
""The liar's punishment is not that he is not believed"
Taxi
"but that he cannot believe anyone else.""
Taxi
"John, George Bernard Shaw said that."
Taxi
"He did?"
Taxi
"Your father was George Bernard Shaw?"
Taxi
"Alex, Can we talk"
Taxi
"about this?"
Taxi
"What do you want him to lie about?"
Taxi
"Maybe I can do it for you."
Taxi
"I'm throwing a party Friday night."
Taxi
"Hey, it's a little short notice, but I can make it."
Taxi
"Why are you having a party on Friday night?"
Taxi
"We're all going to miss a lot of business."
Taxi
"Well, actually guys, this is a party I'm throwing"
Taxi
"for the people at my art gallery."
Taxi
"Who cares, the more, the merrier. Right?"
Taxi
"They don't understand."
Taxi
"We're not invited."
Taxi
"How come we can't go to the party too?"
Taxi
"'Cause we're nobodies."
Taxi
"We're stupid, ignorant, low-life cabbies."
Taxi
"Oh."
Taxi
"What do you think, Latka?"
Taxi
"( speaking native tongue )"
Taxi
"Latka, in English."
Taxi
"If they don't come, I don't come."
Taxi
"I'm sorry. They can't come."
Taxi
"All right, then I come without them."
Taxi
"All right! All right!"
Taxi
"You can come."
Taxi
"If it means that much to you."
Taxi
"If it doesn't matter to you that you screw me up"
Taxi
"with my bosses or ruin the one chance I have"
Taxi
"to send my kids to a decent school"
Taxi
"then, by all means, just come to my party."
Taxi
"What's the address?"
Taxi
"Hey, you come with me."
Taxi
"I know where it is."
Taxi
"Thank you very much."
Taxi
"Let's go get something to eat,"
Taxi
"and I'll tell you about my outfit."
Taxi
"Hey, Elaine, hey, don't worry about us."
Taxi
"Nobody's gonna know we're taxicab drivers."
Taxi
"Come on. We'll cover it up. All right?"
Taxi
"Okay."
Taxi
"All right."
Taxi
"See you later, Alex."
Taxi
"Ahem!"
Taxi
"You're in luck."
Taxi
"Looks like you got a chance to nab Louie for your guest list."
Taxi
"Yeah, I might give your party a tumble."
Taxi
"Perhaps some of those art-world cuties"
Taxi
"might want me to pose for them au naturel."
Taxi
"Louie, you're not invited."
Taxi
"What do you mean?"
Taxi
"I mean if you're even seen"
Taxi
"in the vicinity of my apartment Friday night"
Taxi
"I'll have you arrested."
Taxi
"Oh, really not invited."
Taxi
"Okay. Who needs you?"
Taxi
"Come on let's get this garage back to normal!"
Taxi
"Hey, Latka! You finish cleaning that cab yet?"
Taxi
"Phew!"
Taxi
"Who drive a sick koala bear?"
Taxi
"( doorbell ringing )"
Taxi
"Alex?"
Taxi
"Yeah."
Taxi
"( Sighs )"
Taxi
"Hi."
Taxi
"Hi."
Taxi
"No, this is the night."
Taxi
"Well, don't bother to introduce me."
Taxi
"I'll just mingle."
Taxi
"How are you?"
Taxi
"I played a little trick on you, Alex. Oh?"
Taxi
"I told you the wrong time so that you'd get here early."
Taxi
"Great trick. Why?"
Taxi
"Well, see, you're doing me a favor."
Taxi
"Now that you're here, no one has to go through"
Taxi
"the embarrassment of arriving first."
Taxi
"You know how uncomfortable that can be."
Taxi
"I can only imagine."
Taxi
"Besides, I'm a little insecure about this party"
Taxi
"and I wanted someone"
Taxi
"to tell me how nice the place looks."
Taxi
"Well, you can start anytime."
Taxi
"Oh, yes."
Taxi
"It looks great."
Taxi
"No, it really does."
Taxi
"I like that."
Taxi
"Oh, and I like that."
Taxi
"And I really like this."
Taxi
"Thanks."
Taxi
"You know, this was hard."
Taxi
"I had to borrow some furniture"
Taxi
"and move the kids' beds upstairs."
Taxi
"I'm really knocking myself out for this party."
Taxi
"But I think I'm going to be okay"
Taxi
"as long as my cheese puffs are a hit."
Taxi
"Oh..."
Taxi
"Delicious."
Taxi
"Take it from a puff man."
Taxi
"So, is there anything I've overlooked?"
Taxi
"Oh, uh... persons."
Taxi
"They're coming. Anything else?"
Taxi
"Something for persons to drink."
Taxi
"That's a little bit of a problem."
Taxi
"You see, I used a discount liquor store."
Taxi
"I don't want anyone to see the labels."
Taxi
"They're kind of off-brands."
Taxi
"Ever heard of Betty's vodka?"
Taxi
"Gentlemen never tell."
Taxi
"Can I make a suggestion?"
Taxi
"Why don't you put the stuff in a punch bowl"
Taxi
"and add ginger ale and juices."
Taxi
"Oh, that's a great idea."
Taxi
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