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Clips from Ted Lasso - Tan Lines (S01E01)

"Right."
Ted Lasso
"I didn't know that, so... apologies."
Ted Lasso
"I'll make sure that I text you anytime I have to make a decision, yeah?"
Ted Lasso
"It's just that in training, Sam was wide open,"
Ted Lasso
"Now that's what I'm dealing with."
Ted Lasso
"Here it is."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah. Okay. Now, hold on a second."
Ted Lasso
"Think we might have missed a page. Oh, boy."
Ted Lasso
"Don't you wanna go ride a real double-decker bus?"
Ted Lasso
"See? I like that."
Ted Lasso
"First we gotta build it, then we can ride it."
Ted Lasso
"It's kind of a Field of Dreams paradigm."
Ted Lasso
"Okay."
Ted Lasso
"Well, six hands are better than four."
Ted Lasso
"Good morning."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, how you doing?"
Ted Lasso
"-Hey, look at that scarf. I like it. -Oi! Wanker."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, check it out."
Ted Lasso
"You never-- Never seen one of these before."
Ted Lasso
"That right there, that's a scone, okay?"
Ted Lasso
"It's like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth."
Ted Lasso
"There's your breakfast. All right? Hey! What do you say?"
Ted Lasso
"Thanks, Dad!"
Ted Lasso
"Okay. There you go. Some people's kids, holy moly."
Ted Lasso
"-It's pretty nice out there, isn't it? -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"-Hey. -I can make us some breakfast."
Ted Lasso
"What's wrong?"
Ted Lasso
"Nothing. I think I'm just a little jet-lagged is all."
Ted Lasso
"I'm fine, Ted."
Ted Lasso
"No, no. No. Michelle, you gotta talk to me."
Ted Lasso
"Okay? Hey, hey. Oklahoma."
Ted Lasso
"Every day..."
Ted Lasso
"I wake up hoping that I'll feel the way I felt in the beginning."
Ted Lasso
"But maybe that's just what marriage is, right?"
Ted Lasso
"I'll keep trying. You know I will."
Ted Lasso
"Ready to go!"
Ted Lasso
"-I mean, you're gonna need pants, kiddo. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"-You know-- -Let's get some pants. Come on."
Ted Lasso
"I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
Ted Lasso
"Marriage. Just so, you know, so complicated."
Ted Lasso
"So many different challenges and..."
Ted Lasso
"I think-- I don't know. Sorry."
Ted Lasso
"You ever been married?"
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, Nate. Coach's views on romantic relationships"
Ted Lasso
"are not too dissimilar from his views on cooking steak."
Ted Lasso
"You know, you spend any more than five minutes on one, loses its flavor."
Ted Lasso
"-That sound about right, Coach? -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question then?"
Ted Lasso
"Fire away."
Ted Lasso
"If you were worried about your relationship,"
Ted Lasso
"then why did you fly 4,438 miles away?"
Ted Lasso
"That is a very specific number to know off the top of your head."
Ted Lasso
"Used to say I was .001 miles tall."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah. Well, it's a good question. Why do it?"
Ted Lasso
"I think at some point I realized"
Ted Lasso
"that me being around so much was doing more harm than good."
Ted Lasso
"Like, anytime I tried to solve any of her problems, or..."
Ted Lasso
"do something sweet for her, it just would backfire."
Ted Lasso
"And then she and this therapist we were working with"
Ted Lasso
"decided that maybe the best thing to do would be to give her a little space."
Ted Lasso
"Thirty-eight."
Ted Lasso
"Thirty-eight miles worth of it."
Ted Lasso
"Sorry to interrupt. I was told one of you had my phone."
Ted Lasso
"Thank heavens."
Ted Lasso
"I deleted some apps to optimize performance."
Ted Lasso
"Not Battleships, I hope."
Ted Lasso
"I'll leave you lads to your match day planning."
Ted Lasso
"Now, well, hold your horse there, amigo."
Ted Lasso
"You mind if I get your take on something?"
Ted Lasso
"Wow, of course."
Ted Lasso
"Very exciting to be invited into the inner sanctum."
Ted Lasso
"Team Lasso, as it were."
Ted Lasso
"You and the missus. Y'all been together a while, yeah?"
Ted Lasso
"Five boys, three dogs,"
Ted Lasso
"one 20-year-old cat whose impending death will wreck me emotionally,"
Ted Lasso
"and one small house that manages to fit us all in it."
Ted Lasso
"Sounds like a full life right there."
Ted Lasso
"But I assume y'all have had your fair share of hard times though, yeah?"
Ted Lasso
"Did you not hear the five boys, tiny house, dying cat part?"
Ted Lasso
"If you're with the right person, even the hard times are easy."
Ted Lasso
"Someone call 911. I want to report a truth bomb."
Ted Lasso
"-I think they do 999 here. -It is 999."
Ted Lasso
"-Yes. It is, yeah. -For emergencies?"
Ted Lasso
"Boy, that seems troublesome to me."
Ted Lasso
"You know, toddlers and, just, butt dials and--"
Ted Lasso
"-'Cause it's one key. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"You'd probably have police cars and ambulances"
Ted Lasso
"-just zipping all over the place. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"-Well, that happens a lot, doesn't it? -It does. Yeah, yeah."
Ted Lasso
"-That explains it, actually. -There you have it."
Ted Lasso
"Arlo White here with Chris Powell."
Ted Lasso
"Live from Nelson Road Stadium, the home of AFC Richmond."
Ted Lasso
"All right, everyone! Get in a fucking circle."
Ted Lasso
"-Let's throw this down! -Come on, boys!"
Ted Lasso
"Right, hands in."
Ted Lasso
"On three. One, two, three..."
Ted Lasso
"Let's go! Let's go!"
Ted Lasso
"Jamie, you a germophobe?"
Ted Lasso
"'Cause I'm trying to think of a reason you didn't put your hand in"
Ted Lasso
"with the rest of the team."
Ted Lasso
"Didn't want to."
Ted Lasso
"I gotta say, man, sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the channel hopper."
Ted Lasso
"You just push all the wrong buttons."
Ted Lasso
"You get to keep on preaching all of your yeehaw bullshit,"
Ted Lasso
"and in exchange, I'll keep ignoring you, because this team is tragic."
Ted Lasso
"I score all the goals, and I'm the only one they come to see."
Ted Lasso
"Does that sound fair? Hands in."
Ted Lasso
"You know, I'd love to hash out some of the nuances there,"
Ted Lasso
"but I'm not having the best of days--"
Ted Lasso
"Actually, it doesn't matter what you say."
Ted Lasso
"'Cause in my head, I'm just hearing the crowd cheer my name"
Ted Lasso
"after I score a goal tonight."
Ted Lasso
"Jamie Tartt... Jamie Tartt..."
Ted Lasso
"As undeniably catchy as that tune is, I need you to cut the crap right now--"
Ted Lasso
"Dad!"
Ted Lasso
"Hey, big guy. There he is. Hey."
Ted Lasso
"-Jamie Tartt? -Hello, little lad."
Ted Lasso
"Would you sign my shirt?"
Ted Lasso
"That's pretty cool, huh?"
Ted Lasso
"Now, next time I score a goal, it won't just be for me."
Ted Lasso
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