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Clips from Ted Lasso - Tan Lines (S01E01)

"Hi, Jamie."
Ted Lasso
"Like, 24 hours ago."
Ted Lasso
"How long's a man meant to be alone?"
Ted Lasso
"What am I supposed to do? Shower by myself?"
Ted Lasso
"Sorry, can I just say, I'm your biggest fan."
Ted Lasso
"I follow your Insta, your Snap, everything."
Ted Lasso
"Wow, thank you."
Ted Lasso
"And, Jamie, thank you."
Ted Lasso
"wondering if I made a huge fucking mistake."
Ted Lasso
"But you have really helped me to feel good about this decision, just by..."
Ted Lasso
"being you."
Ted Lasso
"You're welcome."
Ted Lasso
"What?"
Ted Lasso
"You said I made you feel good about your decision."
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah. -Did you mean it?"
Ted Lasso
"You still gonna be around for the promo shoot later?"
Ted Lasso
"The promo shoot that I've spent weeks setting up for you?"
Ted Lasso
"Yes."
Ted Lasso
"It was nice to meet you."
Ted Lasso
"Yes, yes, yes! Here!"
Ted Lasso
"Yes, Jamie! Jamie, Jamie!"
Ted Lasso
"-What are you doing? That was going in. -Well, we'll never know."
Ted Lasso
"Jamie, how many times I gotta tell you to make the extra pass?"
Ted Lasso
"Come on. Sam was more open than the jar of peanut butter on my kitchen counter."
Ted Lasso
"What? What's he talking about?"
Ted Lasso
"That's right. Y'all don't know I like to keep the peanut butter open."
Ted Lasso
"That way, whenever I walk by, I can just stick my finger in there."
Ted Lasso
"-It's a fucking good idea, to be fair. -Yeah, it is."
Ted Lasso
"Now look, when Sam is that open, you gotta pass to him, okay?"
Ted Lasso
"But why? Even when Sam's open, Sam is still shit."
Ted Lasso
"I heard my name. What did he say?"
Ted Lasso
"-Don't worry about it. -Okay."
Ted Lasso
"Guys, we gotta play like a team tomorrow."
Ted Lasso
"Otherwise we're gonna get our butts kicked. Extra passes."
Ted Lasso
"We're gonna keep doing this until we get it right. Let's go."
Ted Lasso
"Dad!"
Ted Lasso
"Practice is canceled."
Ted Lasso
"That is a lot longer run than he thinks, though."
Ted Lasso
"Metaphor."
Ted Lasso
"-Hey! -Daddy!"
Ted Lasso
"I kinda thought y'all would meet me halfway, but hey, that's all right."
Ted Lasso
"-Hey, buddy! -Helicopter!"
Ted Lasso
"You got it. Two spins. How about that?"
Ted Lasso
"Boy, you're gonna be a dizzy fella there."
Ted Lasso
"-Slower helicopter. -No way. Come on now."
Ted Lasso
"I missed you so much."
Ted Lasso
"Group hug."
Ted Lasso
"Hey! There he is."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, big guy. Look how tall you got. What the heck?"
Ted Lasso
"And look at this. I mean, you, what-- You got teeth now?"
Ted Lasso
"Also, Ms. Welton, sorry to report,"
Ted Lasso
"but this weekend's match will not be completely sold out."
Ted Lasso
"Not a surprise. We've lost four matches in a row, and we're facing relegation."
Ted Lasso
"But why be sorry?"
Ted Lasso
"I think it's all going rather smashingly."
Ted Lasso
"I'm happy to be the new brand ambassador for Darsteiner."
Ted Lasso
"Wait, wait, wait. Get my tats."
Ted Lasso
"Get that one. It's very important to me. Chinese for "arm.""
Ted Lasso
"-Jamie. -What?"
Ted Lasso
"No judgment, but are you back with that twat?"
Ted Lasso
"No. We're done. God, I love that you care though."
Ted Lasso
"I'll kiss you on the mouth if I can reach those lips."
Ted Lasso
"You know, I put this whole thing together. I get 10%."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, do you like mythology?"
Ted Lasso
"You've seen a unicorn. You ever seen a brewnicorn?"
Ted Lasso
"-That's fucking funny. -Oh, no."
Ted Lasso
"-Come on. -Okay."
Ted Lasso
"Y'all getting all this for free. Not even extra for that."
Ted Lasso
"If any of the other players needed some branding work done,"
Ted Lasso
"is that something you'd be interested in?"
Ted Lasso
"I don't want you to offer me a job"
Ted Lasso
"just 'cause I was nice to you in the loo the other night."
Ted Lasso
"Why not? Men give each other jobs in toilets all the time."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, they do."
Ted Lasso
"I meant employment. Like job-jobs."
Ted Lasso
"-So not hand, or blow, or foot? -Foot?"
Ted Lasso
"Just give it a thought. Unless you want to carry on doing--"
Ted Lasso
"What is it you do again?"
Ted Lasso
"I'm sort of famous for being almost famous."
Ted Lasso
"-Maybe think of it as a plan B. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Okay, now, little tip for y'all, all right?"
Ted Lasso
"Fries are called "chips." Chips are called "crisps.""
Ted Lasso
"And "bangers" aren't great songs,"
Ted Lasso
"but they do make you feel like dancing 'cause they're so darn tasty."
Ted Lasso
"When you gonna win a game, you fucking wanker?"
Ted Lasso
"Hey, Baz. Fellas. This here-- This is my wife, Michelle."
Ted Lasso
"Absolute pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Lasso."
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah, coach's wife. She's heard it all. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Hi, Ted. Hello, young man."
Ted Lasso
"Here are the darts. There's the board. Try not to hit any regulars."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, go have fun."
Ted Lasso
"-Your table's this way. -Go on. After you."
Ted Lasso
"-Three fish-and-chips? -Yes, please. And two pints."
Ted Lasso
"-I like your style. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Look at this."
Ted Lasso
"Do they wrap the fish-and-chips in newspaper? I read they do that here."
Ted Lasso
"No, no. I wish. Boy, I'd love that. Having my food teach me stuff?"
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, that's your dream scenario, right?"
Ted Lasso
"A doughnut that knows about Rosa Parks or something."
Ted Lasso
"-Yeah. Exactly, yeah. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Can fit a lot of wisdom just in the hole."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"You already done, bud?"
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, he probably should be."
Ted Lasso
"Well, I'm sorry about that."
Ted Lasso
"Happens all the time."
Ted Lasso
"-What are you doing? -I'm just curious, yeah?"
Ted Lasso
"The photographer's gonna send me over the pictures,"
Ted Lasso
"and I'll just kill the ones where you look like shit."
Ted Lasso
"Then I'll send them over to you."
Ted Lasso
"Firstly, babe, there won't be any where I look like shit because..."
Ted Lasso
"and we can look at them together?"
Ted Lasso
"Maybe we're naked."
Ted Lasso
"Hard no. Thank you again, Jamie."
Ted Lasso
"Smart move."
Ted Lasso
"Excuse me?"
Ted Lasso
"I have to hang out with that prick."
Ted Lasso
"The fact that you would choose to be with him is frankly mind-blowing."
Ted Lasso
"I'm not with him. We broke up."
Ted Lasso
"We're working together, actually. And who asked you anyway, huh?"
Ted Lasso
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