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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Lamp (S04E04)

"(indistinct chatter)"
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"NADJA: Our work on converting the Vampiric Council"
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"into a vampire nightclub"
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"is not going well."
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"Stop the work! Stop the work!"
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"NADJA: The custodian of this"
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"wonderful raw space is being something"
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"of a total harpy in my ass."
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"Continue the work. Continue the work."
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"Ignore her, keep working."
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"My voice reigns supreme."
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"I have been in charge of this sacred reliquary"
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"for hundreds of years."
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"You can't just dismantle it all."
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"NADJA: We're not dismantling anything, we're just moving things around."
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"-Oh. -There is a very specific filing system here."
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"-Which is? -Which is everything stays exactly where it is"
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"and nothing gets moved or changed ever."
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"Are you sure you don't want to protect"
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"your precious books by putting them"
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"into storage so they don't get damaged"
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"by my blood sprinklers?"
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"Blood sprinklers?"
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"No, no, no. This is not right. Put it all back."
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"You can get fucked. This took hours."
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"Oh, I wasn't talking to you."
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"LASZLO: What the fuck?"
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"NADJA: Fucking wraiths."
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"Anything you can do, my wraiths can undo."
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"This conversation is over."
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"("You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing)"
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"♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪"
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"♪ They have no use for your song ♪"
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"♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪"
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"♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪"
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"♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪"
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"♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪"
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"♪ ♪"
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"(barks)"
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"-Cute. (chuckles) -Which one's yours?"
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"I do not own a dog."
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"-I only come here to speak to you. -Oh."
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"NANDOR: My search for a new wife has..."
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"not been going so great."
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"I used to have 37 beautiful wives."
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"But that was hundreds of years ago."
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"Now I have no one."
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"But I have a plan."
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"I secretly smuggled back 850 pounds of ancestral treasure"
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"from Al Qolnidar."
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"I thought my ancestral treasure"
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"would make a very impressive dowry."
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"But it seems,"
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"for modern women, it's just not enough."
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"I am not a creep."
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"I'm just a very powerful and ancient warrior"
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"who wishes to marry you."
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"So I'd like you to come back to the basement of my mansion"
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"and examine my massive dowry."
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"Hmm?"
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"So, here I am,"
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"surrounded by all my secret treasures"
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"but without a wife to share them with."
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"And, yes, I have kept my secret treasure secret"
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"from even my housemates."
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"No one will ever know the precious riches"
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"-that I have hidden deep... -GUILLERMO: Master?"
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"What the fuck? Guillermo?"
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"How did you get in here? The door was locked."
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"Wh-- How long have you had this secret room for?"
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"Whoa. Look at all this stuff. Is this stuff real?"
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"Sure, just come on down to my secret treasure room,"
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"why don't you? Don't touch that."
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"-Ow. -Of course it's real."
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"The aggravations are endless."
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"I am paying a full crew of workermen to do nothing."
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"-You know what I think this stairway needs, Tobe? -What's that?"
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"Hey, I bet they do a shiplap accent wall."
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"-Watch. -...a shiplap accent wall."
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"Man, come on, these guys have, like, two go-to moves at best."
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"No, that's where you're fucking wrong."
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"Bran and Toby choose to use shiplap"
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"because it has the perfect amount of artistic flair"
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"for any aesthetic."
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"Also, not a budget-buster."
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"Did you want to do shiplap on this wall?"
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"-Where? -Just, like, right over here?"
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"Well, if you've got some."
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"Every time I persuade the workermen to work,"
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"The Guide and her wraiths undermine me."
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"-Hey. Hey! -Whoa, whoa!"
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"(Nadja groans)"
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"I told Nadja it wasn't safe for her crew to be working here,"
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"but she doesn't listen."
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"(worker screams)"
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"I have tried using the carrot, as one does"
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"with a stubborn donkey, but now it is time for the stick!"
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"I must ask you about some of the things"
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"I overheard them saying when I was working in, um, England"
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"at the Supreme Vampiric Council."
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"(chuckles): Oh. Did they speak about me"
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"and my dedicated work here?"
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"-I shouldn't say, no. -Oh."
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"Okay, I'll tell you."
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"Yeah, so, some of them were definitely saying"
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"that they think that this branch of the Vampiric Council"
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"is very much stuck in time,"
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"and that the real estate would probably be more valuable"
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"if they leased it out to a... CVS Pharmacy."
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"Who said that?"
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"The main one."
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"Dark Lord Tyrantus?"
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"The Liquidator of Underlings?"
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"Him-- that's him."
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"Uh, okay, uh..."
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"(softly): What do I do?"
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"Okay!"
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"Let's do this! Uh..."
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