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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - First Date with the Second Coming (S01E01)

"Don't attempt home bangs;"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Margot!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Dare me to dive into these sharp rocks?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hell yes!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I heard sharp rocks don't exist!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sharp rocks are a hoax"
Teenage Euthanasia
"invented by the Chinese dude."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Screams ] [ Body thuds ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Baby crying ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- ♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ Some of my devils up and left me free ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ To find a quiet space"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ I'm not as out of place"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ And I'm coming home again"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ It's been too long a time gettin' back what's mine ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ And I can't remember why I went away ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ But it's lookin' now like maybe I can stay ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Is that any good?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Air horn blows, cheering ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Wow, Baba."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Spring break is always lucrative,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"but this might be our busiest season yet."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yes, my grandchild."
Teenage Euthanasia
"The co-eds are dropping like flies."
Teenage Euthanasia
"If flies had alcohol poisoning"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and fatal water-sports accidents."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Kyle died like he lived."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Playing jet ski beer pong."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Sniffles ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Stay swole, bro."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Stay swole!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- How much extra to add honey to the slide n' slip?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- $5 Flori-dollars a head."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I think Kyle would have wanted it that way."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Weeeee!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, party boy!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I waxed my pubes in the shape of a solo cup."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Wanna sip?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- No thank you, ma'am."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Ma'am?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Annie, I need you to cover my forehead"
Teenage Euthanasia
"with the curtain of youth. - No!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"the potential for trauma's too high."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba trimmed my bangs when I was and Child Protective Services"
Teenage Euthanasia
"made me live in a group home for months till they grew back."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- So Baba's willing to do it? Thanks."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Annie tells me you can make my forehead go from here to here."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Got a minute? - [ Sighs ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Okay, daughter, but bangs on woman your age"
Teenage Euthanasia
"is very shameful cry for help."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- What's Baba doing? - Trophy wanted bangs."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Gasps ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Shrieks ] What did you do!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"My forehead is big enough to have its own ass!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Relax, it grow back."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Three months. Value haircut."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You did this on purpose to ruin my Spring Break."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You just love screwing things up for me, don't you old woman?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Stay still, desperately vain corpse."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba fix."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- 911. Yes, I'd like to report a child being abused"
Teenage Euthanasia
"by a non-maternal crone-like foreign woman."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Yes, the child is a very youthful 33."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- 911, my pathetic, promiscuous daughter is elder abusing me."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Send your most sadistic cop ASAP."
Teenage Euthanasia
"They all sadistic?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Choose the one in least-happy marriage."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Siren wails ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- SXPD! Freeze! [ People gasps ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Pardon the interruption folks, we received two calls"
Teenage Euthanasia
"from suspected white women in distress,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"so we're gonna need you all to line up right quick"
Teenage Euthanasia
"according to immigration status and bra size..."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hold on."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm seeing the bangs of a psychopath."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Must be our perp. Cuff her, Monotonee."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- No, I'm the victim!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"You're looking for illegal-alien Edward Scissorhands over there!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Let's see what forensics say, ma'am."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Hold out your hands."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- But I also victim! - Sorry, ma'am."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Beeping ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Officer Infinitee,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"she's coming up positive"
Teenage Euthanasia
"as an accessory to this bang trim."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You made me ugly on purpose!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"If I had a hot daughter, I'd never do this to her!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yeah, well, if you had stronger chin"
Teenage Euthanasia
"you'd look quirky and carefree!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Both grunting ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Camera shutters clicking ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Watch the bangs!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- That's it! You're both under arrest!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Handcuffs click ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Siren wailing ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Who wants to wrestle in jello"
Teenage Euthanasia
"as a tribute to the recently deceased?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Cheering ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Step forward."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba and Trophy Fantasy Felony Coiffe."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- She's the true offender, your Honogram."
Teenage Euthanasia
"These bangs make my face look like it's sandwiched"
Teenage Euthanasia
"between two necks!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Make her pay for what she's done!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- It does look like your forehead's"
Teenage Euthanasia
"trying to climb out a window."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Mm, mm, mm. Proceed."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- She's armed and dangerous,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and what's more, she's undocumented!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm her daughter, and I don't even know where she's from."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I have told you many times! Old Country!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Okay, Grandma, your turn. - Sir. [ Clears throat ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"My ungrateful daughter request hair management service and Baba"
Teenage Euthanasia
"do cost-effective, timely job."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I should get paycheck, not jail!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Screams ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Both grunting ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Hisses ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
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