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Clips from The Office - Take Your Daughter to Work Day (S02E02)

"I am actually looking forward to Take Your Daughter to Work Day."
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"I am not great with kids, but I wanna get better"
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"because I'm getting married."
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"Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel."
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"Name's Pam. Miss Beesly, if you're nasty."
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"Listen, I like kids."
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"And it is R rated. It is not rated G."
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"I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw."
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"And they are trying to make me"
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"Hello, tiny one. Come on."
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"Michael, you remember my daughter, Melissa."
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"Oh, yes. Hello, how are you? Good to see you."
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"Wow, you've really grown up."
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"I over-ordered because they had a back-order."
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"Which is great because he got suspended this week"
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"We'd have to explain everything."
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"All right, I wasn't expecting that. Let's go draw."
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"is getting married and having babies,"
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"Just compare last year's order to this year's."
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"Yeah, I'm looking at it right now."
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"I only have one goal today. To make one kid like me."
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"Just one."
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"What are you reading?"
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"From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler."
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"or the aquarium, which would it be?"
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"Definitely the aquarium. Definitely. Yes. Glad you said that."
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"You don't wanna help me with some of my sales, do you?"
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"You can pick that up if you want. That's all right."
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"Here, I'll make some room."
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"Oh, you know what that is? That is a train whistle."
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"But I'm sort of the conductor of the office here. Right?"
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"You wanna try? Sure."
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"You broke my hand! There is no way that hurt."
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"Shake my hand."
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"Come on. I don't have all day."
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"Excuse me. These are expensive collectors' items, okay?"
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"Yeah, Meredith doesn't have any either. It's so lame here."
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"You call your mom, Meredith? That's very disrespectful."
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"Whatever, okay?"
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"You can refer to me as Mr. Schrute."
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"Mr. Poop? Schrute."
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"Mr. Schrute. Sure, Mr. Poop."
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"Wow."
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"Give me your number so I can text you."
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"Do you understand? Yes, sir."
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"That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life."
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"That was Greensleeves, a traditional English ballad"
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"by Heinrich Hoffmann from 1864."
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"These are cautionary tales for kids."
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"From the 1930s in Germany... Don't, don't talk about Nazis"
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"Why don't you just leave, okay? Okay."
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"Children cannot lie. They are innocent and they speak the truth."
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"The paper is sent to us, cut and dyed, from a paper manufacturer."
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"And then we sell it to a business for more than we paid for it."
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"That's not fair. No."
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"You are describing Office Depot."
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"that you might want to know. I used to be the star of a kids' show."
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"I would like you to go to my mother's house in Dickson City."
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"Do you know how to play the tambourine?"
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"of Michael Gary Scott, when he was a child star"
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"and a show that you might remember called Fundle Bundle."
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"That is Miss Trudy. You can't tell from the costume,"
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"but she had an amazing body."
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"Recess! Hey, what's your name?"
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"My name's Chet. Well, hi, Chet."
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"That guy's legit."
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"What do you wanna be when you grow up? I wanna be on TV."
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"Bye."
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"I can't believe his mom dressed him like that."
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"She's so nice."
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"who got suspended from school."
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"I think these belong to you."
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"Believe me, she has enough toys."
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"She doesn't need your watch."
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"But there's more to life than notches on my bedpost."
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"Do you think that it is too late for me to have kids?"
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"Hey, does Sasha have a godfather? Because..."
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"Is it okay if I take one? Sure."
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"Yeah, I get to do this, like, every week."
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"I'm actually going on a date. Nice."
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"Must have a code"
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"My theory is that..."
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"You just look at them and sigh"
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"In the olden days, the women would bear many children,"
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"No, they didn't eat the children."
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"so the kids will come talk to me."
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"Bribery. Nice. Oh, I have more."
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"Michael, you can't be nasty today. Because of that."
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"Oh, God. Is that today? I reminded you last night."
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"But this is not a kids' environment."
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"Who knows what I'm gonna say? Crazy stuff."
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"into Eddie Murphy in Daddy Day Care."
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"Both great movies, but still."
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"Well, I'll be in my office."
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"Don't you think you should say something? They're cool."
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"Michael, I think that as the boss you should really..."
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"Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Hi, children."
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"How do I make you understand..."
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"I am like Superman."
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"And the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City."
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"Okay. I'm Aquaman. Where does he live, guys?"
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"I work with a bunch of nerds."
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"You are the future."
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"This is my file cabinet."
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"Oh, this is the partition"
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"Abby's my fiancee Stacey's daughter."
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"I think she'll have a good time."
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"I just hope she doesn't look on my computer."
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"she is turning into a stone cold fox."
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"I'm in eighth grade."
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"Yeah, middle school's amazing. It is extraordinary."
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"An extraordinary time."
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"It's not that children make me uncomfortable."
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"It's just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle?"
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"I've never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle."
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"They want how many spiral pads? Well, 50..."
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"Will you pull that down there?"
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"Okay, tell them what you wanted to say."
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"It's probably just easier if we do it ourselves."
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"Don't you just love kids, Angela?"
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