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Clips from Scrubs - My Kingdom (S02E02)

"Dr Kelso, I was able to locate the discharge form you wanted."
Scrubs
"She's a beauty, isn't she, Ted? My pride and joy."
Scrubs
"- Ted, you're a simpleton. - That's funny."
Scrubs
"It appears to be a wiring problem."
Scrubs
"Either way, second floor desperately needs a new computer."
Scrubs
"Jackass."
Scrubs
"I was talking about him, you buffoon."
Scrubs
"- All right, JD, get in there. - Turk's always looking out for me."
Scrubs
"We were done with that one, right, guys?"
Scrubs
"- Why would a hen need a banjo? - Why does a hen need a banjo?"
Scrubs
"Why buy a saw if I had no stuff to cut?"
Scrubs
"You need some help with that?"
Scrubs
"No, that'd be crazy."
Scrubs
"We have a telegram from Nurse Paul Flowers."
Scrubs
"That name is funny."
Scrubs
"In your cup..."
Scrubs
"But I was in surgery now."
Scrubs
"I can't believe my girlfriend's dragging me to the ballet."
Scrubs
"What's up?"
Scrubs
"I just used it to help with my agility for sports, that's all."
Scrubs
"You know."
Scrubs
"I never wore the clothes or anything like that."
Scrubs
"Actually..."
Scrubs
"Well, that..."
Scrubs
"and the medical boondoggle I have to go to in Cleveland."
Scrubs
"And by medical boondoggle, I mean golf weekend,"
Scrubs
"and by Cleveland, I mean Hawaii."
Scrubs
"I go to bed some nights wondering."
Scrubs
"And you know what happens to me, Perry?"
Scrubs
"I fall asleep. And I mean like a log, brother."
Scrubs
"Anyway, I have to go catch my bus to the airport."
Scrubs
"to wet both his and Mr Spiller's bed."
Scrubs
"You're slouching."
Scrubs
"Which I do, by the way. And I'm not ashamed of it."
Scrubs
"Why do I say every thing that comes into my head?"
Scrubs
"I wish you wouldn't stand close to me after your hummus break."
Scrubs
"See? I didn't need to say that."
Scrubs
"I'm gonna tell him."
Scrubs
"- Love you. - Love you more."
Scrubs
"I gotta say, it was nice to feel accepted."
Scrubs
"- To what? - To the gun show, dawg."
Scrubs
"Sometimes you can't help but get caught up in the moment."
Scrubs
"Or what you're gonna say to someone."
Scrubs
"I can't wait for my parents to meet you."
Scrubs
"I assigned you to another surgeon."
Scrubs
"What? Why?"
Scrubs
"Ted, you guys suck."
Scrubs
"Are you even paying attention?"
Scrubs
"No, it is time to realise that we're operating on a naked chick."
Scrubs
"And then I realised why Turk was so pissed."
Scrubs
"It's a joke."
Scrubs
"No one's going to believe Kelso actually died."
Scrubs
"I don't know if I should be alone tonight."
Scrubs
"Look, I can totally get you back in with all the surgery boys."
Scrubs
"Dude, who the hell are you talking about?"
Scrubs
"By the way, you're Slappy Bag."
Scrubs
"You've lost it."
Scrubs
"- I told you you had nothing to saw. - Really?"
Scrubs
"Man, give it back."
Scrubs
"You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately."
Scrubs
"- Me too. - God, you drive me crazy."
Scrubs
"You drive me crazy."
Scrubs
"Sometimes you're so controlling, it makes me want to strangle you."
Scrubs
"Elliot, are you trying to break up with me?"
Scrubs
"Sorry, cheese."
Scrubs
"Holy cow. You just clean out a guy's office"
Scrubs
"the second he goes deady-bye?"
Scrubs
"- We can come back later. - No."
Scrubs
"There's no way this desk is fitting through that door."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, that's your arm."
Scrubs
"Sorry I told the surgeons about your ballet."
Scrubs
"Todd camped out in a wizard outfit to see the last Harry Potter movie."
Scrubs
"You swore you wouldn't tell. We even high-fived on it."
Scrubs
"High five."
Scrubs
"You were so desperate for the approval of all these stupid surgeons"
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah? Not all surgeons are stupid. OK?"
Scrubs
"Look it, this whole thing was a joke that, admittedly,"
Scrubs
"Think it's funny they already gave away my parking spot?"
Scrubs
"$200 to show up at rounds and sing Ding-Dong, Kelso's Dead?"
Scrubs
"It's pretty convincing."
Scrubs
"is what an evil son-of-a-bitch he really is."
Scrubs
"If this cheque bounces, I'm coming for you."
Scrubs
"OK, here's what you do."
Scrubs
"Say that even though our relationship is ending,"
Scrubs
"My God, are you actually telling me how to break up with you?"
Scrubs
"Just tell me we had a lot of fun together."
Scrubs
"because even though I can be controlling sometimes,"
Scrubs
"No, I just mean that I wonder how things would've gone"
Scrubs
"Appletini, please. Easy on the tini."
Scrubs
"Ever since college you always make everything seem so easy."
Scrubs
"it might be nice not to feel like a total dork."
Scrubs
"Hey, I'm JD. I am so stoked to be your roommate."
Scrubs
"What are you talking about? You said hoops were cool."
Scrubs
"Med-school chicks love ventriloquists."
Scrubs
"No, you had a car. Still do."
Scrubs
"What did he do with the new one?"
Scrubs
"But sometimes change doesn't last for long."
Scrubs
"By golly, you're so pretty, I may not even use you."
Scrubs
"And other times it just makes you miss what you had."
Scrubs
"No problem, Dougster."
Scrubs
"the whole power-nerd thing a little bit, OK?"
Scrubs
"You know how I do. What's up, fellas?"
Scrubs
"Am I the first they've done this to?"
Scrubs
"All right, don't sweat it, OK? Stay on your toes."
Scrubs
"I mean, in a good way."
Scrubs
"that the last few weeks have been really amazing."
Scrubs
"Here, hand it over."
Scrubs
"Removing the old heart."
Scrubs
"I told you I'd hook you up."
Scrubs
"- What you got there? - Circular saw. Just bought it."
Scrubs
"That's old news, doll face, we do commercial jingles now."
Scrubs
"The best part of waking up Is Elliot in your cup"
Scrubs
"That's it?"
Scrubs
"By Mennen"
Scrubs
"But if things are going well, you should just ride the wave."
Scrubs
"We will high-five later."
Scrubs
"Can you? Really? Totally?"
Scrubs
"I'll just talk to them. Schmitty, Schultzy,"
Scrubs
"Trigger, Fig Sack, Small Pete, Little Pete, Tiny Pete,"
Scrubs
"Ever feel like we're thinking the same thing?"
Scrubs
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