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Clips from Jon Benjamin Has a Van - Stardoor (S01E01)

"From our consumer advocate edward sheath."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But roy allston of roy allston's hair supply"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- You're absolutely right, jon."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- You'll get the opportunity to look a little bit better."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Looks pretty good."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"My natural hair is so perfect"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I think that if i was bald, i'd kill myself."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Right at this moment, i'm driving into area 51,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Is to house extraterrestrial life-Forms,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Bring him. Now."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I didn't do anything. - Ah, it's probably nothing."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- The hieroglyphics tell us that the relic itself"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Oh, my god."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I- I just..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I-I can't. I'm doing a show."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Mr. Benjamin,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"In human history."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Good luck."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Now go!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I don't want to hit him."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Sorry. It's-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Oh, my god."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I don't know what he's saying, but i don't-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Oh. Okay."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I'm gonna be your counsel"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"In the case of the star door accident."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Free to go."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Pleasure to meet you. Enjoy your stay."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- All right, now let's, uh, let's take a look,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"See what we got."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"What, are you driving with blindfolds on?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I need to ask you a couple of questions."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"We might have to use it in court."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Here's me eating an ice cream cone."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I just dumped a ton of garbage in the street."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Shame on me."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Which makes sense, because i'm a disgusting pig."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"This human came through the star door"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"My client came from earth through the star door"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Upon what grounds?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Biological offspring bring unhappiness to us all!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- To victory, huh?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Yeah, all right."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Oh, my god!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Whoo!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Sir, have you been drinking?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You ass!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Tonight on jon benjamin has a van..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Is that a bald spot,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Or is it actually a solar panel for a sex machine?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The top secret area 51"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Has long been rumored to harbor alien life-Forms,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But what other secrets does it hold?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Plus a special "shame on me" report"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"All this and more on tonight's jon benjamin has a van."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"For centuries, bald men have been using wigs"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"To disguise their hair loss."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Most of the time, they weren't fooling anybody."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Thinks he can change all that."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You wear one of my hairpieces on the street,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"No one's gonna know that hair's not real."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Wow. That's amazing."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Where we headed?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"So you offer more realistic-Looking toupees?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Exactly."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Who-Who's gonna wear one of those?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"No offense, but... they're sort of silly looking."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You will feel a little bit better."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- So you look a little bit better."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- With my toupees, you will look more realistic,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Because it's a little bit better."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"So, george, how can we help you?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, i-I used to have more hair up on top going across,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And around the back and sides too."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Wait till my wife gets a load of this."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I might stop off at the bar, though."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"See if i can pick up some girls."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I- I'm seeing me five years ago."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Like a fountain of youth."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I feel like nicolas cage."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- When you go into the shower, you have to take it off."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"It'll come off by itself, end up down the drain."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Jon, let me let you in on a little secret."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I wear a hairpiece."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Oh, so you're completely bald."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I figured. I thought that was-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, not exactly."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Roy, you're- You're not bald at all."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- No. I'm not bald."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"That people think it's a hairpiece,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"So i have to cover it."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, we bonded over being bald."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Yeah. But i'm not bald."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, that's not nice."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"One of the world's most secretive military bases."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Right here's good, guys."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Thanks a lot, tom. See you, derrick."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Conspiracy theorists have long claimed"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"That area 51's main purpose"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But one former government official"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Has recently come forward"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"With area 51's biggest secret."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I was a government scientist at area 51,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Involved in top-Secret operations."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Most of this information has been declassified now,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But most people are unaware of an even more secret location"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Within area 51,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Which was called area 54."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- What was area 54?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- The idea that we were on a top-Secret military base"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Combined with the fact that there was an even more"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Top-Secret discotheque"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Within the top-Secret military base,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Well, it attracted a lot of attention."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Celebrities wanted in immediately."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The tricky part was getting them through clearance."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"In the end, we commissioned most of them as officers."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- So this is the hallway that led to area 54?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Yes, it was, uh, right here on the left."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
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