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Clips from Community (2009) - Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas (S02E02)

"It's a text from Britta."
Community (2009)
"She says, "The meaning of Christmas is in the study room.""
Community (2009)
"Now that you started it,"
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"how about 10 more seconds on the third button, eh?"
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"Surprise. Pierce."
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"You promised not to do that. Surprise."
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"Not cool. Ah, hold on, Abed."
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"You are? I am."
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"And I can help you find the meaning of Christmas."
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"Right, guys? Oh, yeah."
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"Oh, this feels safe. Shut up, Winger."
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"What do you think, Abed?"
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"Christmas wizard. Hm."
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"I guess I can see that. Have a seat, then."
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"All your friends are here."
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"They just want to help."
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"I'm here for the cookies. So, what do we do?"
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"With your permission, I'd like to put you into a state of Christmasnosis"
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"and take you on a magic journey."
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"Your own personal Winter Wonderland."
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"Come on, everyone."
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"You all know how magic Christmas journeys work."
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"You are playing with so much fire. Shut up, Winger."
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"Hands on the table. Eyes closed."
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"Heads relaxing. Necks relaxing."
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"Don't relax Pierce any lower. Screw you."
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"Abed, focus on the sound of my voice and let yourself relax."
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"With each breath, you'll feel... It's beginning."
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"All right, then. The table's moving."
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"Like a rocket about to take off."
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"Now it's leaving the floor as the walls and the ceiling fly away."
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"We're in outer Christmas space. There's Planet Holly."
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"And Planet Jolly."
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"Oh, and what's that up ahead?"
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"Ah. It's Planet Abed. Subtle."
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"We're descending onto Planet Abed now."
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"It's the most Christmassy planet in the universe."
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"We're here. Winter Wonderland. See how sparkly?"
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"What, are you crazy? All I see is the study..."
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"Ooh. Sparkly wonderland."
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"During our journey, you've transformed into Christmas versions of yourselves."
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"Jeff-in-the-Box."
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"Uh-huh. Troy Soldier."
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"You have a drum. Cool."
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"Britta, you're Britta-Bot. Uh..."
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"Just go with it. Bleep, bloop."
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"Bleep, bloop for me too."
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"Ballerannie. Oh. Heh."
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"Baby Doll Shirley."
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"Baby what? What the hell?"
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"Well, we are making fabulous and unexpectedly intense progress."
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"Now, what I'd like to do is visit the cave of frozen memories."
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"Pass. Let's head for the North Pole. The meaning of Christmas will be there."
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"Um... Well, yeah. Yeah, sure, cheers."
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"through the cave of frozen memor..."
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"I wouldn't call it a shortcut, but you got us here, so I'll throw you a bone."
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"# And see what we can find #"
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"# Through the wonderland in my mind ##"
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"Let's move, folks. This isn't going to be fun, easy or safe."
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"tends to test your commitment to Christmas."
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"My advice: Stay honest, stay alert, and for the love of God,"
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"stay between the gumdrops."
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"Look up there, Abed."
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"I think I see the cave of frozen memories."
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"Terrific."
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"Abed, did you say my Christmas self was a baby?"
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"Are you sure you didn't say I was a Christmas angel?"
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"Because you respect me too much to imagine me as a baby."
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"You know why you were a robot, right? I'm progressive and kick-ass."
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"How about heartless and godless? I think he gave us random identities."
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"I mean, me, a ballerina?"
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"It's not like I'm that thin and graceful, right?"
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"Annie, it's because you're fragile and tightly wound."
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"Cut the chatter, and keep your eyes on the prize."
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"We're looking for the meaning of Christmas."
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"I happen to know the meaning of Christmas."
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"And I'm the only one here that does."
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"even if I'm a guest in your therapy wonderland."
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"Therapy?"
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"I am freezing Shirley with my wand."
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"And I am ejecting her from Planet Abed"
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"with a remote-control Christmas pterodactyl."
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"Oh, nice. Now we're talking."
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"Point being, if you're not interested in helping Abed,"
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"Cookies."
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"# Swaddled in her diaper #"
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"# Thought that Christmas was her own ##"
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"That's wonderful. Let's get back to the magic journey and wrap up."
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"Some of us have women to sleep with. You guys hear that?"
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"Yeah, a whole swarm of them. See?"
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"Everyone stay perfectly sincere. Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm."
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"Wow. Somewhere, Tim Burton got a boner."
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"Jeff, don't be sarcastic. Oh, are they on me now?"
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"Oh, no. They're eating him alive."
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"If only he could find the power to not be a smug douche."
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"Oh, no can do. I'm just a horrible guy."
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"Guess I'll have to go get laid."
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"Ooh. Can I sing this one?"
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"# Bitter shallow hipster Sweater matching socks #"
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"# Christmas needs more presence Than a haircut in a box ##"
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"Annie, nice."
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"Get what I did with the word "presence"?"
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"Carol Canyon. Instead of oxygen, plants produce Christmas songs."
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"Will it cost a lot to walk here? No. Public domain."
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"You know Jesus was born in the middle of April, right?"
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"The church moved his birthday"
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"so they could steal the solstice from pagans."
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"Season's greetings from Britta Perry."
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"Maybe you could sing a song about it."
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"I guess that means you're gonna have me ejected"
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"for not loving Christmas enough."
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"Let's get to the cave of frozen memories."
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"- Man, it is cave-like in here. - What do you mean, cave-like?"
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"It's a cave. Nothing to be afraid of."
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"The cave of frozen memories is a safe place"
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"where we can observe suppressed experiences"
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"without being affected by them."
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"Can you show me how to do it? Sure."
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"Here. I'm focusing on a part of the cave"
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"and I'm seeing my 10th Christmas."
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