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Clips from Dr. Ken - Pilot (S01E01)

"♪ and you're gonna hear me roar ♪"
Dr. Ken
"♪ louder, louder than a lion ♪"
Dr. Ken
"♪ and you're gonna hear me roar ♪"
Dr. Ken
"♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪"
Dr. Ken
"♪ oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪"
Dr. Ken
"It's hemorrhoids."
Dr. Ken
"Hmm."
Dr. Ken
"That's your diagnosis?"
Dr. Ken
"Who should we listen to?"
Dr. Ken
"The doctor or the guy with the inflamed ass"
Dr. Ken
"and the Internet connection?"
Dr. Ken
"All right, webmd-bag."
Dr. Ken
"Based on your symptoms, I'm recommending a colonoscopy."
Dr. Ken
"What? Colonoscopy?!"
Dr. Ken
"It's a hemorrhoid."
Dr. Ken
""It's a hemorrhoid." Duh."
Dr. Ken
"You would know since your head's up your ass."
Dr. Ken
"Go to hell!"
Dr. Ken
"It's just a little hemorrhoid!"
Dr. Ken
""Go to hell! It's just a little hemorrhoid!""
Dr. Ken
"Man, I love that guy."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, my god."
Dr. Ken
"I'm so stressed out."
Dr. Ken
"These patients are such whiny, complaining bitches."
Dr. Ken
"You know what I mean?"
Dr. Ken
"Yes, I know exactly what you mean."
Dr. Ken
"Well, for starters, my wife could help."
Dr. Ken
"In what way?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, she could conduct the rest of this session with her top off."
Dr. Ken
"We could see where it goes."
Dr. Ken
"I only do that for paying customers."
Dr. Ken
"You have change for a $5?"
Dr. Ken
"Nina: Dr.Park? Both: Yes?"
Dr. Ken
"Your 5:15 is running late."
Dr. Ken
"Thank you, Nina."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, what is wrong with you?"
Dr. Ken
"You know, Molly's got her driver's test today,"
Dr. Ken
"and I'm, like, so nervous."
Dr. Ken
"What if she doesn't fail?"
Dr. Ken
"Look at her."
Dr. Ken
"She's our baby girl, and cars are death machines."
Dr. Ken
"You said the same thing about tricycles, seesaws, and puppies."
Dr. Ken
"Puppies grow up to be dogs, dogs eventually die."
Dr. Ken
"Broken heart, drug abuse, prostitution, death."
Dr. Ken
"The day I got my license, I was so excited."
Dr. Ken
"I was waving to a buddy,"
Dr. Ken
"and I drove straight into a parked car."
Dr. Ken
"I know."
Dr. Ken
"She's like me but popular."
Dr. Ken
"We have the same number of hands,"
Dr. Ken
"but she has way more people to wave to."
Dr. Ken
"Kids don't need freedom. They need..."
Dr. Ken
"What's the opposite of freedom?"
Dr. Ken
"Duct tape."
Dr. Ken
"They need... To be taped... down."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, my god."
Dr. Ken
"No, I don't."
Dr. Ken
"Which means...?"
Dr. Ken
""Tape down. Child cannot run!""
Dr. Ken
"Okay, come on."
Dr. Ken
"Mama's got to work."
Dr. Ken
"Love you."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, I-I'm sorry."
Dr. Ken
"It's all right, Mr.Cantos. Come on in."
Dr. Ken
"Just talk about your kids a lot."
Dr. Ken
"Gets her super-turned on."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, buddy."
Dr. Ken
"What you got going on?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, right, right. Big talent show."
Dr. Ken
"♪ Get ready 'cause I've had enough ♪ ooh, Katy Perry."
Dr. Ken
"Sexy yet kid-friendly."
Dr. Ken
"♪ I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter ♪"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, good god! Is that mime?!"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!"
Dr. Ken
"Um, Dave..."
Dr. Ken
"And now you're in a box? Really?"
Dr. Ken
"Dave..."
Dr. Ken
"Every kid does one thing in school that they're defined by,"
Dr. Ken
"and you really don't want yours to be mime,"
Dr. Ken
"because that is an invisible box that you cannot get out of."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, you showed dad your mime act?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, and he thinks it's lame."
Dr. Ken
"I know it's lame."
Dr. Ken
"I am so proud of your originality, honey."
Dr. Ken
"Why don't you go practice upstairs?"
Dr. Ken
"Uhp. Forgot my box."
Dr. Ken
"Need a hand with that, buddy?"
Dr. Ken
"No, dad. It's imaginary."
Dr. Ken
"Come on, alli. We can't just let this happen."
Dr. Ken
"We got to protect him."
Dr. Ken
"We got to support him."
Dr. Ken
"It's mime!"
Dr. Ken
"You know what the audience is gonna want to do?"
Dr. Ken
"Your traffic just got a little worse!"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, you passed!"
Dr. Ken
"Yay."
Dr. Ken
"Thanks for being happy for me, dad."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, Molly, if it seems like I'm not happy,"
Dr. Ken
"it's only because I'm not."
Dr. Ken
"Of course your dad is happy."
Dr. Ken
"I'm not. I'm really not."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, if you can't be happy, can you be quiet?"
Dr. Ken
"How about that?"
Dr. Ken
"I should probably take dad's convertible."
Dr. Ken
"Thanks, dad!"
Dr. Ken
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't have my car."
Dr. Ken
"I need it."
Dr. Ken
"Mom!"
Dr. Ken
"You need two cars?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, I'm having a... parade."
Dr. Ken
"Thanks a lot, dad."
Dr. Ken
"What?"
Dr. Ken
"I spend all day listening to those damaged nutjobs"
Dr. Ken
"on that couch telling me all the ways"
Dr. Ken
"their parents screwed them up."
Dr. Ken
"Molly's growing up, Ken."
Dr. Ken
"Rip off the duct tape or you're gonna lose her."
Dr. Ken
"Fine, I'll try it your way."
Dr. Ken
"I would never do anything to scar them."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, dad, want to..."
Dr. Ken
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