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Clips from The Good Place - Pilot (S01E01)

"I might not have been a saint,"
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"but it's not like I killed anybody."
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"I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and"
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"thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state"
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"back on the ground."
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"Okay, that's really specific,"
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"All I'm saying is"
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"but are they really that much better than me?"
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"Well, I spent half my life in North Korea"
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"fighting for women's rights"
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"fighting for gay rights."
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"So we said, If the U.N. won't remove those land mines,"
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"we will."
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"And we dug up over a thousand unexploded land mines"
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"Well, then he said,"
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"You can't give me both your kidneys; you'll die."
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"And I said, But you will live."
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"And I know we just met on this bus ten minutes ago, but he seemed nice."
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"Thank you, thank you."
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"You all know that I am the architect of this neighborhood."
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"But what you don't know is..."
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"Golly, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but, um,"
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"oh, what the heck?"
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"This is actually the very first neighborhood"
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"I had been an apprentice for over 200 years,"
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"and my boss has finally given me"
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"my first solo project."
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"Yes!"
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"Ah, gah-gah... gah-gah-gah. Hold on there, ace."
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"Let me get more of them shrampies."
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"- Okay, easy. - What?"
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"They're for everybody, right?"
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"Yes, exactly."
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"And you deserve a perfect world"
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"because every single one of you"
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"is a good person."
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"- Bravo, Michael, bravo! - Thank you."
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"if any of you would like to play tennis tonight,"
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"we have 36 regulation grass tennis courts."
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"Such fun. Cheers."
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"Tahani, what a condescending bench."
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"- Okay, okay, okay, okay. - Am I right?"
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"She's choosing to have that accent."
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"- Shh-shh-shh-shh. - Oh, hello."
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"I am just a big, beautiful,"
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"utterly perfect cartoon giraffe."
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"Oh, okay. Okay."
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"I think it's time to go home."
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"Wait, wait, wait. I just have to go upstairs"
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"real quick and steal a bunch of gold stuff."
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"Okay, don't do that."
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"Don't do... no, Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor."
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"Hello, creepy house that I hate."
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"Hello, one million clowns."
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"Why aren't there stairs here?"
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"What kind of weirdo house is this?"
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"Ooh."
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"Did you fill your bra with shrimp?"
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"No."
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"Yes."
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"I'm sure they have plenty of shellfish."
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"That Tahani is a real butthead, huh?"
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"Hey."
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"At least I can still say butthead."
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"She is a butthead."
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"Found some pajamas."
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"Chidi... Chidi, Chidi?"
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"I'm sorry that you had to deal with this..."
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"It's okay."
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"It's not, though."
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"Do you think anybody cared that I died?"
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"Maybe someone did."
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"I don't know."
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"I was an only child."
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"My parents were divorced when I was a kid."
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"They were both crummy people,"
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"so they're probably..."
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"in the Bad Place."
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"Maybe they're being used to torture each other."
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"It would work."
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"I bet way more people cared that you died."
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"'Cause you're a nice person."
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"You're a nice person, Chidi..."
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"Anaconda."
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"Anagonye."
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"- Ags... say it again. - Anagonye."
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"No, say what you said before."
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"I did. It's Anagonye."
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"You just changed it."
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"I didn't change it; it's my name."
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"That's a person."
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"Good night."
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"Good night."
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"Well, that's terrifying."
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"That can't be good."
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"- Michael. - Mm?"
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"Is that giant, terrifying ladybug"
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"supposed to be there?"
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"Ah, well, great question, Tahani."
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"No. No, it's not."
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"I have no idea why any of this is happening"
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"or how to control it."
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"Should we run away then?"
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"Yes."
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"Righto."
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"What's going on?"
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"Why is everyone wearing blue and yellow?"
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"You're not."
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"You're... you're the only one who's not."
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"Eleanor, this is all happening because of you."
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"Ah, fork me."
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"Eleanor, this place is a perfectly made Swiss watch,"
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"and you are a wrench in the gears."
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"Actually, you're a hammer,"
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"just smashing the gears into dust."
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"Tahani is totally condescending."
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"And there are a couple of,"
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"Oh, come on!"
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"I'm not the only one with flaws."
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"So how can we be sure this is my fault?"
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