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Clips from 30 Rock - Fireworks (S01E01)

"And he told this story about trying to make French toast"
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"for his morn when he was a kid, and he started crying."
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"You gonna fake being an alcoholic for the rest of your life?"
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"I don't know, OK? One day at a time, Pete."
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"I'm gonna take it one day at a time."
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"I want you to tell me everything that happened last night."
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"The curtains open on a group of chorus-line dreamers in 19705 leotards."
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"I'm not talking about the show."
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"- Why were you telling him anything? - I'm sorry, sir."
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"I had to keep talking just to stop him from putting his fingers in my mouth."
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"I humiliated you for television."
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"Like on "What's Happening!!""
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"Exactly. And I need to humiliate you again."
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"I've got a very important meeting coming up, and Banks cannot be there."
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"I'll do it."
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"To the wig shop!"
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"I don't know what happened in your life"
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"Maybe it was a brace or corrective boot you wore during childhood."
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"- I can't do this sketch. - What? Why?"
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"Because you can't have a white dude playing a criminal."
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"That's a negative portrayal of my people."
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"- Tracy, you're not white. - I don't know who I am any more!"
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"Tracy, you should be honoured to be a descendant of Thomas Jefferson."
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"Of course you would say that. You wish you were white."
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"How dare you? I happen to know what it means to be proud of one's heritage."
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"My great-great-great grandfather was one of the few black men"
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"I think he's shaking hands with Robert E. Lee."
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"Dude, your relative fought for the South."
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"You're related to a black Confederate officer."
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"- That's messed up. - See?"
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"Now you know what I'm going through."
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"You think these other black guys are his prisoners or what?"
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"Maybe Jack's special could be based on a holiday."
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"What's left in April?"
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"So, you got options."
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"- Can I talk to you for a sec? - Yeah."
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"I'm sorry to do this at work. I just wanted to make sure you're OK."
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"- You weren't at the meeting today. - Oh! No. I'm OK."
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"OK. Good. I just want to offer my support."
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"If you ever need to talk to someone,"
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"I'd be more than happy to take you out for coffee."
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"- Do you have time now? - Sure."
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"Are you ready to find out who your biological father is?"
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"I think I am."
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"Tracy..."
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"I hate you, Thomas Jefferson!"
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"Hey, Maury, he a dog! He a dog and a liar!"
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"Sally Hemings just called you a dog, Thomas Jefferson."
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"No matter, Maurice."
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"I'm here for you, Tracy Jordan."
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"I rode a horse all the way from Heaven to tell you something important."
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"America, which I invented..."
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"is a great country,"
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"because we are not burdened by our paste."
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"Embrace who you are, Tracy Jordan."
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"And may the Force be with you always."
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"Yeah, I think it might have been sick."
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"Or maybe the little guy ate a cigarette or something."
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"Hey, do you want to come over? My friend Pete is staying with me,"
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"and we've decided that we're gonna do this thing"
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"How many you gone through?"
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"Well, I only have "Star Wars" and "Tootsie,""
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"so we just keep watching those two over and over."
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"I'm in. But only 'cause your friend's there."
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"Otherwise, it would be too tempting for this to turn into a real date."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Well, obviously, since we're in the same group,"
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"we can never date."
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""Don't walk between the subway cars," and all the cool people just do it anyway?"
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"The last time I drank, I ended up doing"
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"a man-on-the-street commercial for "Tarzan On Ice.""
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"It was awesome."
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"I mean, he was swinging on skates,"
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"and the little monkey was funny."
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"I want to see it again!"
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"- Yikes. - Yeah."
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"And I didn't even see it."
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"- So, all the rules. - Yeah."
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"But I'll buy the popcorn."
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"Karate!"
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"Kenneth, what are you doing here?"
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"Do you want me to dance for you?"
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"Man. Yeah."
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"This is "Traffic On The 2s. " Top deck of the G. W. Bridge..."
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"- Construction on the Merritt... - Oh, you're a peacock."
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"The time is now 7:52."
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"7152? You warlock."
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"You came to entrance me."
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"Donaghy sent you."
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"- Where the hell is Lemon? - I can't find her."
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"Hey. Good morning."
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"Good morning."
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"Oh, I'm sorry. I kind of fell asleep on your legs."
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"It's weird, I've never let anybody put their head that close to my feet before."
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"- Pins and needles! - Are you all right?"
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"- Both my legs are asleep. - OK, all right, here we go."
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"Come on. Hop up."
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"There we go. All right?"
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"Walk it off, Scarecrow."
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"Ah, that was really fun last night."
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"I think "Tootsie's" a very well-crafted movie."
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"Yeah, they use it as an example in all the screenplay books."
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"Look, I would really love to do this again some time,"
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"Floyd, I'm not an alcoholic! I lied."
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"I followed you to that church because I have a crush on you,"
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"and I let you think that I belong there."
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"- What? - I know, I know."
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"but if there's any way that you could see past it..."
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"- I know. - It is extremely not OK that you did that."
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"What are you still doing here? Don't you have a breakfast meeting with Jack?"
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"Floyd, I'm sorry, I have to go!"
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"If Jack's not ready, I'd like to tell you about the future of entertainment."
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"Celebrity snuff reality content"
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"Oh, thanks, phone!"
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"What?"
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"but broadcast television is big."
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"It's about spectacle, the kinds of shows we watched as kids,"
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"sitting on our neighbour's knee."
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"Inaugurations, the Super Bowl, the Oscars."
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"That's why I give you..."
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