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Clips from 30 Rock - Fireworks (S01E01)

"the "Rockefeller Center Salute to Fireworks.""
30 Rock
"Thank you so much. I appreciate your patience."
30 Rock
"Mr Donaghy, Liz Lemon is on the phone."
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"Jack, I'm so sorry. I told you about the Flower Guy..."
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"I hope he's worth it."
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"It's called "Confederate Monster: The Tobias Spurlock Disaster.""
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"The barn that John Wilkes Booth hid in belonged to Tobias Spurlook."
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"Well, listen. Dream Jefferson told me some amazing stuff."
30 Rock
"Let me shoot something at you."
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"I came up with a movie idea about all of this, and I want you to write it."
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"It's the story of Thomas Jefferson."
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"Only thing, we gonna do it like "Norbit," where I play all the parts."
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"That's actually hilarious."
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"It's not a comedy. It's a drama."
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"But just to even things out,"
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"here is all of my weird, secret stuff."
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"but two guys who later went to Clown College."
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"I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner"
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"because when I was a kid, my mom used to turn on the vacuum"
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"which is why I rarely vacuum my apartment..."
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"I have had three doughnuts so far today."
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"Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit"
30 Rock
"at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet."
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"And I didn't leave"
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"until I finished my second plate of shrimp."
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"A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin."
30 Rock
"Wow, I am a mess!"
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"that I will tell all my friends I am voting for Barack Obama,"
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"but I will secretly vote for John McCain."
30 Rock
"Here's one... When I was a kid, I used to put on my fanciest nightgown,"
30 Rock
"and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a champagne glass,"
30 Rock
"and I would sit in the dark and watch "The Love Boat.""
30 Rock
"And I... lied!"
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"I have had five doughnuts today."
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"So, that's my deal."
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"Now we're even."
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"You know, the Roomba is a nice, quiet alternative to a vacuum."
30 Rock
"Thank you. That's a good tip."
30 Rock
"And in the interest of full disclosure,"
30 Rock
"I also have a sexual fantasy about Gopher..."
30 Rock
"Oh, boy. I really should have been at that meeting."
30 Rock
"Wait, fireworks... in midtown?"
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"Oh, boy. That's gonna scare a lot of people."
30 Rock
"Shut it down!"
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"Shut it down!"
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"Oh, boy."
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"These punks who think they can take down Jack Donaghy."
30 Rock
"However, according to my DNA database,"
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"This is how white people dial a phone."
30 Rock
"Devon, what can I do for you?"
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"I don't do that."
30 Rock
"- You used me? - For television, Kenneth."
30 Rock
"Lemon, it's on. Banks is gunning for me."
30 Rock
"but I don't think it's a good idea."
30 Rock
"I found a biography on your ancestor."
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"I'm really sorry about what I did, and I know that you can't forgive me."
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"I never got out of my car,"
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"Now, what's that?"
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"OK, what's the movie?"
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"This is a picture of him shaking hands with Ulysses S. Grant."
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"MC Lyte just murdered Danny Bonaduce?"
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"Dr. Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will it tell me what diseases I might get"
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"You can't be my father!"
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"I said stuff in there that even my best friends don't know."
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"I feel more confused and betrayed"
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"No!"
30 Rock
"Welcome to the "Rockefeller Center Salute To Fireworks.""
30 Rock
"Hi, my name is Floyd, and I'm an alcoholic."
30 Rock
"I have never seen so much come out of one pigeon."
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"That's why we got into television in the first place."
30 Rock
"I have been sexually rejected by not one,"
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"Sir... the mayor."
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