Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 30 Rock - Fireworks (S01E01)

"Honey, I'm home!"
30 Rock
"Oh, great!"
30 Rock
"- Like what? - Something big..."
30 Rock
"A live television special with fireworks."
30 Rock
"Boy, you're gonna need more than that, though."
30 Rock
"Maybe you're right. I want you on this, Lemon."
30 Rock
"We should do a sketch about alien abductions."
30 Rock
"Like a Lamaze class in Roswell..."
30 Rock
"Lamaze-well."
30 Rock
"Dude, what's with the ridiculous hat and glasses?"
30 Rock
"I'm incognito. Some dude is trying to slap me with a subpoena"
30 Rock
"for a paternity suit, and the kid ain't mine!"
30 Rock
"'Cause I remember the girl, and it's impossible."
30 Rock
"How about a sketch about Bill Clinton eating hamburgers?"
30 Rock
"That stinks. What is this? 1992?"
30 Rock
"What do you want from me? I'm not a comedy writer."
30 Rock
"Mr Jordan... you've been served."
30 Rock
"The more I think about it, the more jazzed I'm getting about these fireworks."
30 Rock
"Maybe don't pitch the fireworks thing right away."
30 Rock
"I'm gonna come up with other things I think you'll like better."
30 Rock
"What I'm saying is, that is what we're selling at the pitch meeting, Lemon..."
30 Rock
"Spectacle. It's what people want."
30 Rock
"The Romans knew it. Louis XIV knew it. Wolfowitz knows it."
30 Rock
"Mr Donaghy, as instructed, I was spying on Mr Banks."
30 Rock
"And there is something you should know."
30 Rock
"So, what team do you play for?"
30 Rock
"Oh, it's not really a team. It's just some guys who like doing gymnastics."
30 Rock
"You know, I'm gonna be in town for a I while. Maybe we could get together."
30 Rock
"My, you're friendly."
30 Rock
"Good God, Devon is gay."
30 Rock
"He's even more powerful than I thought."
30 Rock
"Maybe you should seduce him and get him to tell you all his secret plans."
30 Rock
"I heard you were talking to my colleague Devon Banks."
30 Rock
"Did he tell you why he was in New York?"
30 Rock
"No, sir. We talked about Anderson Cooper mostly."
30 Rock
"You should get to know Devon, tell him your television ideas."
30 Rock
"You know, he started off as a page just like you."
30 Rock
"Really? So did I!"
30 Rock
"You ask him the right questions, he could open some doors for you."
30 Rock
"You call him, tell him you got two tickets for "Chorus Line" for tonight."
30 Rock
"or help me to remember my ATM pin code?"
30 Rock
"Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be."
30 Rock
"I already know the results. The kid is not mine."
30 Rock
"Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity"
30 Rock
"by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up."
30 Rock
"But he was going to church in the middle of the day on a Tuesday."
30 Rock
"What do you think that means?"
30 Rock
"Well, it means he probably murdered someone and found God while he was in jail."
30 Rock
"Maybe he's born-again. Oh, boy."
30 Rock
"We can spend our Saturdays in Central Park trying to save gay rollerbladers."
30 Rock
"I just wish people would tell you when you meet them,"
30 Rock
""Hi, I am so-and-so. Here is all the weird stuff about me.""
30 Rock
"she never would have married me."
30 Rock
"Love is like an onion,"
30 Rock
"and you peel away layer after stinky layer"
30 Rock
"until you're just... weeping over the sink."
30 Rock
"Is that my sweatshirt?"
30 Rock
"No, no!"
30 Rock
"And I have an idea for a show about a teacher named An."
30 Rock
"I call that one "An School.""
30 Rock
"And one about a Jewish guy who opens an ice-cream parlour."
30 Rock
"That one's called "Ice Cream Cohen.""
30 Rock
"one named Cash and one named Carrie."
30 Rock
"I don't have a title for that one."
30 Rock
"- But, then, also I have some... - Kenneth, can I offer you a libation?"
30 Rock
"I have champagne, vodka, absinthe."
30 Rock
"So, Mr Banks..."
30 Rock
""What brings you to New York?""
30 Rock
"Oh, just making the rounds."
30 Rock
"Oh, my, that's an awful short robe."
30 Rock
"I know. I had to cut it down myself."
30 Rock
"You know, I was a page."
30 Rock
"And when I was in the program, we'd give each other a hand."
30 Rock
"Can you give me a hand, Kenneth?"
30 Rock
"- For a fellow page, anything! - Great."
30 Rock
"Tell me about Jack Donaghy."
30 Rock
"Tracy, I have the results of your DNA test."
30 Rock
"Now, I'm very serious about doctor/patient confidentiality."
30 Rock
"So I'm gonna have to ask that all four of us keep this to ourselves."
30 Rock
"- What's the verdict, Doc? - Good news."
30 Rock
"You are not the father of that child."
30 Rock
"you are a direct descendent of our third president."
30 Rock
"Our third president, Thomas Jefferson."
30 Rock
"Jefferson? Not possible."
30 Rock
"- Yeah, that's a white dude. - Yeah, but that guy was into black chicks."
30 Rock
"I'm surprised I'm not a descendant."
30 Rock
"These DNA results show that, genetically, you're mostly white."
30 Rock
"That's ridiculous. I can't be white!"
30 Rock
"of the differences between black and white."
30 Rock
"I got to call my wife."
30 Rock
"I think we're way past that, Jack."
30 Rock
"Fm gay, and I want your job."
30 Rock
"Devon, I'm straighter than you are gay,"
30 Rock
"- I'm not afraid of you. - Yeah, well, you should be."
30 Rock
"Let's just see how it all shakes out in the meeting."
30 Rock
"Let's."
30 Rock
"Oh, by the way,"
30 Rock
"a little slim-waisted birdy in a page jacket told me you got nothing."
30 Rock
"- You're going down. - No, Devon..."
30 Rock
"- No, no, no. - Are you kidding me?"
30 Rock
"You eat too many hot dogs. Please, I am concerned."
30 Rock
"I copy this article on sodium for you."
30 Rock
"Fine. But I will be reporting this to the Fox Problem Solvers."
30 Rock
"Oh, boy. What is this, Bible study?"
30 Rock
"I didn't know you came here."
30 Rock
"I haven't been in a super long time,"
30 Rock
"but, yeah, my parents used to make me go every week."
30 Rock
"- Well, welcome back. - Thanks."
30 Rock
"You're doing the right thing. Go ahead, have a seat."
30 Rock
"OK, everybody, let's get started."
30 Rock
"Hi, Floyd."
30 Rock
"It's been four years since my last drink,"
30 Rock
"but I just broke up with my girlfriend,"
30 Rock
"so I guess today I'll be talking about my issues with women and trust."
30 Rock
"The dishonesty that my dad..."
30 Rock
"- You stayed? - Pete, you don't understand."
30 Rock
"He was pouring his guts out."
30 Rock
"It was like eavesdropping on somebody else's therapy."
30 Rock
"I just feel like I've known him forever now."
30 Rock
"I mean, his father was awful, awful."
30 Rock
Show more clips