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Clips from The Simpsons - Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish (S02E02)

"I'm Dave Shutton. I'm a reporter who's on the road a lot."
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"All right! We eat tonight!"
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"One. Two. Three."
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"You'd find it in any nuclear facility..."
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"Is there some confusion about this? Take it! Take it, you poor schmo!"
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"However, I will not overlook the 342 violations I have observed today."
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"Oh, well. A little dab of paint here, a little spackle there."
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"-Yes, sir. -You and I are a dying breed."
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"Don't get me wrong. You're an honest man."
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"...our state's most beloved governor."
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"This is the kind of trickery I'm paying you for."
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"But first there's a burning issue that we need to neutralize."
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"Fine. Be a jerk. We'll just sit here and watch it."
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"Oh, no! An election? That's when they close the bars, isn't it?"
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"...you didn't even know how many eyes a fish had."
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"-I'll be sore tomorrow. -We've done all we can."
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"-Hello. -Hello, Charles."
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"Tell them about your theory of natural selection."
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"If these changes are an improvement..."
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"...the new animals thrive and multiply and spread across the earth."
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"...if our antinuclear naysayers and choose-upsiders..."
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"This fish is a miracle of nature, with a taste that can't be beat."
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"Congratulations, Mr. Burns, the polls show you're up six points."
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"-Giving me a total of? -Six. We're on our way."
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"Interesting. Good luck."
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"-We went through her trash. -Talked to her maid."
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"The only dirt we've got is from a guy who dated her at 16."
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"The media will have a field day."
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"-Absolutely not! -Come on, Marge!"
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"-Why are you so popular?" -Very good."
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"-The card question's fine. -I think her question is valid--"
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"He's here!"
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"And look, I've brought noodle kugel."
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"You bad dog! Bad neighbor dog! Here, let me help you up."
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"Yes, sir. A very inane one."
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"Smells delightful."
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"Ironic. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes..."
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"...cost me the election, but if I had them killed..."
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"-So, kids, caught anything? -Not yet, sir."
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"-What do you use for bait? -My brother's using worms..."
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"...but I feel tranquility outweighs catching fish and use nothing."
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"-I see. What's your name? -Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?"
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"In my day, we didn't talk that way to elders."
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"Well, this is my day, and we do, sir."
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"Wait a minute."
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"Leave it to old Mary Bailey..."
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"...to finally do something about that hideous mutation."
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"Mary Bailey! If I was governor..."
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"-...I'd find better things to do. -Such as?"
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"Getting Washington and Lincoln's birthdays as separate holidays."
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"President's Day! What a rip-off! I bust my butt day in and--"
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"-You're late. -Someone will punch in for me."
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"Don't spill anything."
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"-Keep the mutants coming! -I'll mutant you."
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"Oh, man! Plain cake donuts."
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"Thanks for taking all the fancies, guys!"
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"Why can't I ever get here on time?"
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"Hi-ho, faceless employees."
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"In a few moments, the government inspection team will be here..."
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"...so look busy and keep quiet! That's all."
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"Very stirring, sir. Here they come."
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"Hold me, Smithers."
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"Okay. Geiger counters on."
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"That's normal background radiation."
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"-...or for that matter, hospitals. -Sorry."
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"Gum used to seal crack in cooling tower."
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"-Plutonium rod used as paperweight. -Now that shouldn't be."
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"Yeah, well, that's always been like that."
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"-Just resting my eyes! -Well done."
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"A rested employee is a vigilant employee."
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"Monitoring station unmanned."
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"Look here, inspector, could I speak to you privately in my office?"
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"Mr. Burns, in 20 years, I have never seen such a shoddy, deplorable--"
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"Oh, look! Some careless person has left thousands of dollars..."
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"...just lying here on my table. Smithers, why don't we leave..."
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"...and hopefully, when we return, the pile of money will be gone."
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"The money and a stupid man are still here."
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"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to bribe me."
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"Mr. Burns! I'm gonna overlook this felony."
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"Either bring this place up to code, or we'll shut it down. Good day."
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"How much could it possibly cost to fix this place up?"
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"-Approximately $56 million. -56 million?!"
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"-Don't hit me, sir. -Oh, that I had the strength to."
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"Now please go. I would be alone."
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"Empty."
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"Just resting my eyes!"
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"Holy moly! 9:30."
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"Hi, Marge. Sorry I didn't call, but it's been a madhouse here!"
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"Yeah, these 12-hour days are killing me."
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"Mr. Burns?"
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"Sorry, sir. It's me, Homer Simpson."
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"-Is everything all right? -Working late, Simpson?"
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"I'll share something with you. Hop in."
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"Cushy!"
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"They're trying to shut us down. They say we're contaminating the planet."
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"-Well, nobody's perfect. -Can't they just get off our backs?"
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"If I was governor, I'd do things a lot differently."
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"You know how much it costs to run for office?"
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"-More than any honest man can afford! -I bet you could."
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"I just meant you could afford to run for governor."
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"I'm just rambling because you keep staring at me, but it's true."
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"If you were governor, you could decide what's safe."
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"-Where are we going, sir? -To create a new and better world."
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"If it's on the way, could you drop me at my house?"
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"-He's got my vote. -Homer, we're a Mary Bailey family."
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"Mary Bailey won't fire me if I don't vote for her. I'm for Burns!"
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"A political discussion at our table. I feel like a Kennedy!"
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"I don't see how that despicable man has a chance against Mary Bailey..."
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"Now, here's the problem as I see it."
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"While Bailey is beloved by all..."
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"...98 percent of the voters rate you as despicable or worse."
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"So we got the finest campaign team money can buy."
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"This is your speech writer, joke writer, spin doctor..."
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"...makeup man and personal trainer."
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"Their job: to turn this Mr. Burns, into this."
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"Why are my teeth showing like that?"
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"-Because you're smiling! -Excellent!"
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"How do we turn Joe Six-pack against Mary Bailey?"
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"With this team. Your muckraker, character assassin..."
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"-...mudslinger, garbologist. -Hello."
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