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Clips from The Simpsons - Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish (S02E02)

"Their job is to turn Mary Bailey from this, into this."
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"Visual aids help so much. Thanks."
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"I hate that fish!"
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"Thank you for watching Movie for a Dreary Afternoon."
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"Next, a political announcement from the friends of Montgomery Burns."
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"-Burns? Change it. -You do it."
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"I did it last week."
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"Sorry, Barney."
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"I wonder if he'll talk about that fish."
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"Oh, Marge. I bet before the papers blew this out of proportion..."
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"-Thirty seconds. -Remember to smile."
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"-I am smiling. -You'll have to do better than that."
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"-How's this? -There you go!"
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"-The rest is up to you. -Don't worry."
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"When this announcement's done..."
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"...every Johnny Lunch-pail in this state will be eating out of my hand."
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"Hello, friends. I'm Montgomery Burns, your next governor."
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"I'm here to talk to you about my little friend Blinky."
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"That simply isn't true. Don't take my word for it."
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"Let's ask an actor portraying Charles Darwin."
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"...giving them bigger teeth, sharper claws, longer legs..."
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"So this fish might have an advantage over other fish."
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"It may be a kind of super-fish."
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"No. You see, friends..."
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"...came upon an elephant next to our power plant..."
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"...they'd probably blame his ridiculous nose on the nuclear bogeyman."
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"So say what you want about me, I can take the slings and arrows."
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"But stop slandering poor, defenseless Blinky. Good night and God bless."
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"Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote For Monty Burns"
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"I wish the government would get off his back."
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"That Burns is just what this state needs, young blood!"
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"I hope we can count on your support."
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"-Homer, I'm a Bailey booster. -Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a Burns booster."
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"My worthy opponent seems to think that the voters are gullible fools."
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"And I say taxes are too high!"
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"Have you found any dirt on Mary Bailey?"
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"-And? -He felt her up."
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"Not good enough!"
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"We're gonna send a message to those bureaucrats..."
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"...down there in the state capital!"
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"-Is your boss governor yet? -Not yet, son. Not yet."
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"-The voters see you as godlike. -Hot dog!"
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"But the downside is you're losing touch with the common man."
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"-Oh, dear! Heaven forefend! -So the night before the election..."
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"...we want you to eat at the home of one of your workers."
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"I see. Every Joe Meatball and Sally Housecoat in this godforsaken state..."
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"...will see me chow down with Eddie Punchclock."
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"The only question is, can we find someone common enough?"
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"Well, I knew there would be sacrifices."
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"Great toast, Marge! Oh, by the way, the night before the election..."
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"-...Mr. Burns is coming to dinner. -What!?"
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"-And some camera crews. -Cool, man! A media circus!"
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"I'm ringing doorbells for Mary Bailey."
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"Kids, please leave. I don't want you to see this."
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"We'd like one of the children to ask a question."
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"Can you memorize this?"
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""Your campaign's moving like a runaway freight train."
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"Can I ask him to assuage my fears that he's contaminating the planet..."
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"...and making it uninhabitable?"
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"Don't worry. I'm sure she'll be able to memorize it by tomorrow."
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"Finally, Mr. Burns wants you to appear very affectionate to him..."
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"...but remember, he hates being touched."
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"-Marge, get back in bed. -No, I'm fine right here."
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"-I just wanna snuggle. -I don't feel like snuggling."
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"-What's that got to do with it? -You don't let me express myself."
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"You express yourself in the home you keep and the food you serve."
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"Okay, Homer. Fair enough. You got it."
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"All right. Good. That's how I'm going to express myself. Good night."
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"-Well, what do we think? -Hey! Hello, handsome!"
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"Get that off his face."
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"We're eating with the common man, not Tyrone Power."
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"Latest polls are in. It's dead even: 50-50."
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"This stunt will put us over the top."
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"Hello, Homer. Marge, you look dazzling!"
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"I love dogs. Babies too."
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"-Kitty, kitty. -Are you all right, Mr. Burns?"
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"Of course. A little roughhousing with the pets is good for the appetite."
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"The way you handled the pets put you over the top."
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"You're ahead 5 1 to 49. Congratulations, Mr. Governor."
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"-Excellent. -Bart, would you say grace?"
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"God, we paid for all this ourselves, so thanks for nothing."
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"Only a child could get away with such blasphemy."
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"God bless them all. Amen."
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"He's smokin'."
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"You know, Mr. Burns, my family and I feel that taxes are too high."
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"Where do you stand on this controversial issue?"
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"I didn't realize this was going to turn into a charged political debate."
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"-I was only reading-- -I agree. If I am elected governor..."
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"...I'll lower taxes whether bureaucrats in the state capital like it or not!"
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"Lisa, do you have a question for Uncle Montgomery?"
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"Your campaign's moving like a runaway freight train."
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"-Why are you so popular? -A tough question, but a fair one."
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"There's no single answer. Some voters respond to my integrity..."
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"...others to my incorruptibility and determination to lower taxes..."
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"...and the bureaucrats can put that in their pipes and smoke it!"
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"-Oh, Mom, that felt awful. -I'm sorry. It will all be over soon."
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"But we've become the tools of evil."
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"You're learning lessons tonight..."
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"...and one of them is to give your mother the benefit of the doubt."
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"--or even a square deal."
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"-All right! Three-eyed fish! -Can I have your plate?"
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"-I don't believe it! -He's blown it!"
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"Ruined before it hit the ground."
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"Here's your headline, "Burns Can't Swallow Own Story.""
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"Burns' popularity has plummeted to earth like so much half-chewed fish."
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"You must have a few tricks left up your sleeve."
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"Make coffee. We're not licked yet."
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"-Yes, we are. Come on. -Wait! Come back!"
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"You can't do this to me! I'm Charles Montgomery Burns!"
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"-Smithers, tip over this table. -Yes, sir."
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"Make them stop."
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"Mr. Burns...."
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"Shut up and wreck something!"
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"I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions will accomplish."
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"She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful."
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"...I'd be the one to go to jail. That's democracy."
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"You're poetic in defeat, sir."
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"Simpson, I shall make it the focus of my remaining years..."
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"...that your dreams will go unfulfilled."
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"You're busted, Dad."
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