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Clips from Scrubs - My Case Study (S02E02)

"I'm sending one of you to an AMA conference"
Scrubs
"Yes! I never win at anything."
Scrubs
"Criminy."
Scrubs
"or do you prefer this fleshy part in the middle?"
Scrubs
"Scram."
Scrubs
"Is that easy to manage?"
Scrubs
"She'll help me to take care of you. But before we get underway,"
Scrubs
"Act-schmact. The lips stay zipped."
Scrubs
"Do you think that's interesting enough to present to Dr Kelso?"
Scrubs
"Boy. Tell me this, muffin."
Scrubs
"and hit the vein on the first try, I will crack open a bottle of bubbly."
Scrubs
"- Like equipment. - Or an extra nurse on weekends."
Scrubs
"- Shut up. - I don't get it, Dr Wen."
Scrubs
"- All right. - Damn argon laser."
Scrubs
"We have a lot in common. We have a hard time digesting dairy."
Scrubs
"I don't know why you're trying to force this."
Scrubs
"We both work."
Scrubs
"so you can go to some stupid conference."
Scrubs
"Schmonference."
Scrubs
"Great, and that means?"
Scrubs
"I can't wait to get my cast signed."
Scrubs
"Excuse me, sir."
Scrubs
"- Are you two friends? - We're about to be."
Scrubs
"My God."
Scrubs
"because of the Latina woman who cleaned your house?"
Scrubs
"Consuela. You know I don't always say the right thing."
Scrubs
"Try me. I can do it with anything."
Scrubs
"- All right, try this one... - Angie, put on your flats."
Scrubs
"Some are so unexpected that everything else takes a back seat."
Scrubs
"Newbie, I don't tell you I respect you a lot because... I don't."
Scrubs
"I know."
Scrubs
"Yes, you. Forever you, a thousand times you. Move. Move it."
Scrubs
"This is great. There's only one problem. Ten minutes ago..."
Scrubs
"With every sip of the coffee Dr Cox bought me,"
Scrubs
"Thank God my hypocrisy missed me."
Scrubs
"The floors are slippery cos this one doesn't work."
Scrubs
"What do you say, Bridge Club? How you feeling?"
Scrubs
"Your abdominal pains suggest biliary disease,"
Scrubs
"but your tests came back negative, so we don't know."
Scrubs
"Unless someone actually dies. Then we're forced to by law."
Scrubs
"- He's talking again. - Oh, come on. The kid's OK."
Scrubs
""The kid"? This is great."
Scrubs
"I've only been here a year, and he's just started calling me "the kid.""
Scrubs
"Forgive me, Mrs Kellerman, but why wait until now to do this?"
Scrubs
"Look, I've been self-conscious my whole life and I finally got the courage."
Scrubs
"Shoot, I'm getting that argon laser today."
Scrubs
"- What? - Nothing."
Scrubs
"guess who wants to go halfsies on a pasta pot for Enid?"
Scrubs
"She's not my mother, dammit."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. Did I pass out from the pain in my penis"
Scrubs
"- What's this? - It's a mop."
Scrubs
"Well?"
Scrubs
"Hang on."
Scrubs
"Man, today could not get any worse."
Scrubs
"Now, if I were to be really honest with myself,"
Scrubs
"and jump right ahead to not having sex for a month?"
Scrubs
"Are all women this crazy?"
Scrubs
"That's right, work it baby. Now you're smoking."
Scrubs
"- Newbie, you? - No."
Scrubs
"If you give me a second, I wanna ask Mrs Warner something."
Scrubs
"Mrs Warner, would you give me permission to present your case"
Scrubs
"How can you make love to your wife if she's at fat camp?"
Scrubs
"Look, sport, if people think I'm only giving once a year,"
Scrubs
"Fat camp. Six years she's been going there,"
Scrubs
"and the only thing getting thinner is my wallet."
Scrubs
"- Is JD here? - No, it's just me."
Scrubs
"- Crap. - Fine. I'll wait outside."
Scrubs
"Is he in radiology?"
Scrubs
"Carla, you know, I would kill for your hair."
Scrubs
"- I would kill for your legs. - I would kill for your lips."
Scrubs
"I'd kill for that wagon you're draggin'."
Scrubs
"You get to represent the Kelso Kennel Club at the big show in Reno."
Scrubs
"Remember when you are prancing in front of the judges"
Scrubs
"like the proud puppy that you are."
Scrubs
"When it comes time to hand out blue ribbons,"
Scrubs
"it will be such an exciting time for you."
Scrubs
"Cos... I mean, God forbid you were ever an embarrassment to Master Bob, right?"
Scrubs
"Ten years from now when I'm your boss, I'll throw in a good word for you,"
Scrubs
"And hopefully you'll land on solid ground."
Scrubs
"- But you cried. - No, that was you."
Scrubs
"I'm having fun, except I had a pizza..."
Scrubs
"if you're left alone, it can get awkward."
Scrubs
"There can be uncomfortable silences."
Scrubs
"That was my tummy."
Scrubs
"Proud to have you on board, son."
Scrubs
"Whoever brings me the most interesting case gets the ticket to Reno."
Scrubs
"You know, sir, my parents live in Reno."
Scrubs
"I'm trying to decide who's the most detestable suck-up here."
Scrubs
"You, this feminine guy with the perm..."
Scrubs
"Mom, please."
Scrubs
"...or the one in the corner who can't stop daydreaming."
Scrubs
"Listen, Molly Menopause. I need you to quiet the hell down."
Scrubs
"They're delivering a baby and it's using the umbilical cord to crawl back in."
Scrubs
"- Now, you listen to me... - I mean it, sister."
Scrubs
"OK. From now on he's my doctor. The rest of you can get out of here."
Scrubs
"OK. I'm Dr Cox. This is my Gal Friday."
Scrubs
"we need you to ease up on the yakety-yak."
Scrubs
"Drop the macho act now. They're gone."
Scrubs
"If I were 20 years younger and tipsy, this might be your lucky day."
Scrubs
"She had some real old-fashioned sass."
Scrubs
"- Stop saying "sass." - Sass."
Scrubs
"in the New England Journal of "Who Gives a Rat's Ass"?"
Scrubs
"Leave this instant, this second, this moment. Just go."
Scrubs
"- No? - Oh, good girl."
Scrubs
"I mean, my God, woman. The man looks like Al Jarreau was his nurse."
Scrubs
"- You mean Ray Charles. - Dammit."
Scrubs
"Don't worry. Tomorrow is his wedding anniversary."
Scrubs
"Which is why every year we use this time as an opportunity"
Scrubs
"to ask him for anything our department needs."
Scrubs
"Well, tonight after work, Dr Kelso will take his wife to a candlelit dinner."
Scrubs
"Then, after they've toasted to 40 wonderful years together,"
Scrubs
"they'll go home and..."
Scrubs
"Then, bam! Dr Wen points to me and now guess who has to ask Dr Kelso"
Scrubs
"We're fine. I gotta get back to work."
Scrubs
"trying to turn the sniffles into something fascinating"
Scrubs
"- Something better than blennorrhea? - Doug, you would not believe it."
Scrubs
"And as you can see, the ass is on the front."
Scrubs
"Don't get sucked in."
Scrubs
"You know, I have an interesting patient, too."
Scrubs
"So basically, Mr Davis, you received a blunt trauma"
Scrubs
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