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Clips from 30 Rock - Audition Day (S04E04)

"He's a psychopath."
30 Rock
"We're hiring the robot."
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"And I say we hire the one who lives by the Code of the Robot."
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"Boy, I hope he speaks English."
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"# I'm going to let it shine #"
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"# Every day, every day, I'm going to let it shine #"
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"Eight cities, 40 comics,"
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"one slap fight with a T.S.A. agent."
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"Jayden's the one."
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"Now we just have to make Jack think that hiring"
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"Jayden was his decision."
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"Who are the decoys we will be using for the audition?"
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"Jack will hate all of them and pick Jayden."
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"They all think this is their big break,"
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"but we're just using them."
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"I call it the Hornberger System."
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"Auditioning is hard."
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"So much rejection."
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"Elizabeth Lemon."
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"I am represented by Suzanne's B-Plus Talent."
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""My carpets need a deep clean.""
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"And then, you call your mom and tell her, "It went great,""
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"I know it's not fun,"
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"but you are making this guy's dreams come true."
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"At your age, it's probably the last time"
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"That's true."
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"Liz is old."
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"Uh, where are we on this audition?"
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"Uh, we've narrowed it down"
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"to four people for this afternoon."
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"I'm already not liking some of these people."
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"It reminds me of being on the bus."
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"Hey, come on, guys, these are people up here,"
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"with feelings and mothers who worry about them."
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"You are on top of the pyramid."
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"will one day be your tomb."
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"You can't let emotions distract you from making decisions"
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"which, again, will one day be your tomb."
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"Jeez, sorry I'm not a robot."
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"But we're getting there."
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"In 10 years, this will all be the size of a microchip."
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"Think like a robot."
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"Be logical and dispassionate."
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"Are you okay?"
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"Human empathy."
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"This February, on N.B.C."
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"Tracy, I just heard they're closing down the set today."
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"Do you think it's for auditions?"
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"Jennifer M., why are you so worked up?"
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"Because it's going to be a disaster."
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"Like Katrina."
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"That crazy girl from hair and makeup?"
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"They're going to hire some skinny, white guy."
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"How is that a threat?"
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"You'll do your lady characters, and I will get on stage"
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"and people will laugh even when I forget my, um... my... line?"
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"Lines."
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"Everybody's a threat, Tracy."
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"You don't know who's going to walk through that door."
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"Oh, yeah, I forgot, Dotcom."
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"You know everything about acting because you played a bird"
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"Yes, Tracy, I was Trigorin in The Seagull"
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"on the Wesleyan ArtSpace main stage."
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"He will know."
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"Are they closing the stage this afternoon for auditions?"
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"But she may have meant the Jenna that works downstairs"
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"So I'm going to give it to you."
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"Thank you, Kenneth."
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"Oh, my, sir."
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"Looks like you've got a bad case of the "chewdaddies"."
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"Ozark kisses?"
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"The Woodsman's Companion?"
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"Bedbugs."
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"They're a big problem in New York right now."
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"Sir, anyone can get them."
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"And she was a horse."
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"Am I interrupting?"
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"It's not nothing, sir."
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"Mr. Donaghy's got Blue Ridge quilt ticklers."
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"Oh, sorry... bedbugs."
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"Bedbugs?"
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"Don't worry about it, Breckman."
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"You know what?"
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"Um, we may not need you for that."
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""The Great Uta Hagen once said..."
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"...is why I'd like to audition for T.G.S.""
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"Wait, you want to audition?"
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"Oh, Dotcom, I think you're great."
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"But, no, I'm sorry, You can't."
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"Liz, I need to speak with you."
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"Beat it, Grizz or Dotcom."
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"I saw your audition list."
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"What are our options besides Jayden Michael Tyler?"
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"A lot of good people."
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"You don't think I've been brought in"
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"on a million auditions"
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"just to make Kim Cattrall seem grounded and human?"
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"Yes, fine, we're stacking the deck for Jayden."
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"Let me guess what your problem is with him."
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"No, I know him, Liz."
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"For Worst Supporting Bra!"
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"I will not allow this to happen."
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"Ugh, this process is painful enough"
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"Too late!"
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"I'm getting that hot feeling in my head!"
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"Hey, Mom, it's Walter."
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"I'm just calling to tell you they cancelled the audition"
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"You can audition!"
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"Is this because of my bedbugs?"
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"Jack, bedbugs have become an epidemic in New York."
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"if you stayed in your office."
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"Of course."
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"It continues to be the gold standard"
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"by which all business technology is judged."
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"This is what happens when you live north of 62nd street."
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"You think I didn't hear that?"
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"Did you just mute me?"
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"Guys, we've got to have a united front."
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"Bart said that if we didn't go in there"
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"with the numbers all set..."
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