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Clips from 30 Rock - Audition Day (S04E04)

"I'm going to come to your house and crawl into your bed"
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"What do you mean, Dotcom is auditioning?"
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"How dumb are you?"
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"Is there anything in there?"
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"But now you've compromised the Hornberger System."
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"It's four people for a reason."
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"The second, he hates."
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"The fourth proves how good Jayden is."
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"The more people you add, the less effective it is."
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"Like a neighborhood dad garage band."
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"It won't be."
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"Because this is what you're doing."
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"I'm driving a bus?"
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"Floodgate wheels are horizontal."
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"It was all under control."
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"Now everyone's going to want in, and we can't stop them."
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"Pete told me you were only looking at outside people."
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"Now Dotcom's auditioning?"
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"I want in."
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"Liz, there you are."
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"I heard about this whole Dotcom thing."
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"I'm not saying I want to audition,"
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"but Nicky Matarullo from Scotch Plains, New Jersey,"
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"might be interested."
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"Hey, forget about it."
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"Actor emergency!"
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"Pete and Liz want to hire this guy, Jayden."
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"He's Evil Tracy?"
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"Oh, he's "evil," comma, "Tracy"."
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"Go on."
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"Pete and Liz are rigging it to make sure he gets the job."
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"Do you know who else they're auditioning?"
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"A one-man band, some old Australian, Dotcom..."
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"I once saw that guy become Trigorin"
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"at the Wesleyan Art Space."
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"That guy is good."
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"I can't compete with him."
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"Okay, then we have to make sure neither one of them"
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"gets the job by finding better actors ourselves."
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"Good idea, let's go."
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"Call my car."
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"they don't want you using your company car."
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"In fact, they suggested you take..."
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"a taxicab."
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"Oh, why are you scratching?"
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"You have Mugabe's Concubines!"
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"No, bedbugs!"
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"I'm sorry to bother you."
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"And I have bedbugs."
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"I'm an executive with the General Electric Corporation,"
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"If someone could tell me how to transfer to the Four train,"
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"I would be very grateful to you for your help."
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"No, not since I was a child."
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"What is Kathy Geiss doing here?"
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"Her father heard about Brian Williams"
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"and insisted she get a chance."
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"There's too many people here for the Hornberger System, Liz."
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"What if Jack actually picks one of these weirdos?"
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"was chemically castrated by his government?"
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"Liz, Pete."
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"Jayden, you made it."
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"Kathy, no!"
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"Bad!"
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"I'm just happy to be here."
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"in front of the T.G. S. sign?"
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"Yes, of course."
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"My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins"
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"All right, I'll rethink the system and try to make it work."
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"I'm not gay, I'm "bi-larious"!"
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"We need the funniest fool here to step forward."
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"Kolandra!"
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"Kolandra!"
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"Kolandra, Kolandra, Kolandra, Kolandra!"
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"That'll work."
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"Don't jinx me."
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"It's a seagull."
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"Did they make you ride the freight elevator?"
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"I walked in your shoes today, Kenneth."
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"Cast out of society like a leper."
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"But you will, won't you?"
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"I've got a thing."
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"It's just a math equation, that's all."
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"all over this amazing, vibrant city."
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"Paranoia? Where?"
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"that I get out of this miserable process."
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"If you're talking about hiring Jayden, you're insane."
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"Just call anyone he's ever worked with."
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"I did."
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"and they are impressive."
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"A commercial with Martin Scorsese."
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"An off-Broadway play with Christopher Walken."
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"He's even studying the Meisner Technique"
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"with Sir Gilbert Gottfried."
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"Let me tell you one thing about Jayden."
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"I love Jayden."
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"necessary to our understanding of what happened?"
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"None of your actors are auditioning."
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"The Hornberger System will prevail."
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"Think again, Liz."
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"The Hornberger System will "devail"."
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"Is that the opposite of prevail?"
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"I hoped it wouldn't come to this."
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"Tell me more."
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"and say the four most vicious words you can say to a person"
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"And that freaks people out, huh?"
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"Lemon, are you ready to get started?"
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"Yes, I just need one minute"
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"Really?"
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"You're just going to kick all of them to the curb"
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"like so much human garbage?"
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"Why are you being so cold and dispassionate?"
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"You also told me to be a robot."
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"What is going on with you?"
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"And these bedbugs have chewed the blinders off my eyes."
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"These are all people, Lemon."
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"With feelings."
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"They all get to audition."
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"Anyone who wants to audition, just give your name to Pete."
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"Anthony DeCicco."
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"So last weekend, I was at the mall."
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