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Clips from South Park - Probably (S04E04)

"Yes, well, I'm afraid you were wrong."
South Park
"I was a practising Jehovah's Witness."
South Park
"Well, who was right? Who gets into Heaven?"
South Park
"Satan."
South Park
"Now you are all part of my domain!"
South Park
"Every day in Hell grows larger as my minions..."
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"As my minions..."
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"I'm sorry, I just can't do this today."
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"I'm just... I'm sorry."
South Park
"Okay, thank you, Satan."
South Park
"Satan!"
South Park
"- Excuse me, Excuse me... - Chris!"
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"But I thought you were dead!"
South Park
"Yeah, well, where was I gonna go, Detroit?"
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"Chris, I didn't mean for Saddam to stab you and..."
South Park
"Hey, it's all right."
South Park
"All that matters is that I'm back and we're together forever, right?"
South Park
"Yeah, great."
South Park
"Let's see, Matthew 15:11."
South Park
""Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man,"
South Park
"That's a good one, Clyde Frog. Interesting."
South Park
"Eric, Sister Anne has come to visit you."
South Park
"but I must prepare for my next sermon."
South Park
"Eric, you need to stop what you're doing."
South Park
"You need to tell all the kids to go back to school"
South Park
"and back to their normal lives."
South Park
"Sister, have you read this book?"
South Park
"Yes, Eric, a lot more than you have."
South Park
"Then you know what it says happens to those who don't follow the Lord."
South Park
"Eric, the Lord doesn't just send everybody to Hell."
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"That wouldn't make sense."
South Park
"He wants people to live their lives."
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"Are you saying that what the Bible says isn't true?"
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"- No. - We've got Jews and perverts"
South Park
"and bullies and all kinds of sinners in this town, Sister Anne."
South Park
"And without the priest, we've decided to save ourselves."
South Park
"The only ones that kids can trust now are me and Jesus!"
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"And I'm going to save all of you right now."
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"I'm going to heal your sins."
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"Hello, Satan! Oh, crap, it's you."
South Park
"- Yeah, it's me. - I thought I killed you."
South Park
"- Yeah, well... - Where was I gonna go, Detroit?"
South Park
"- To go for a walk? - A walk?"
South Park
"Yeah, just real quick, around the park or something."
South Park
"Is this some kind of trick?"
South Park
"No, I just want you to go for a quick walk with me."
South Park
"Okay, let's walk."
South Park
"Saddam, I get the feeling that you don't like me very much."
South Park
"Look, Satan is a very important person to me"
South Park
"and I know he's an important person to you, too."
South Park
"So, don't you think it's best for us to just try and get along?"
South Park
"I realise that some things about me bother you,"
South Park
"so I'd like to hear what those things are so that I can work on them."
South Park
"You know why I don't like you, Chris?"
South Park
"Because you're the kind of guy who, if someone didn't like him,"
South Park
"he'd take him for a walk in the park and ask them why."
South Park
"Oh, God!"
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"Today this Jewish boy and all sinners are going to be saved!"
South Park
"- Kyle, do you believe in God? - Yes!"
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"Do you want to be saved from Hell?"
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"- Yes! - That's good, because right now,"
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"all the Jewness is coming out of your body,"
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"being replaced by the spirit of God!"
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"Praise God! How do you feel now?"
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"Do you feel the light of God inside of you?"
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"- I think so. - Praise the Lord!"
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"- Yeah! - Yeah!"
South Park
"Bring up the next person!"
South Park
"This boy has been crippled with sin,"
South Park
"but I hear God saying that this boy will walk!"
South Park
"- Hallelujah! - Timmy!"
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"We are gonna save you and you are gonna walk with the Lord!"
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"Now, walk, Timmy!"
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"Come on, Timmy! Get out of that chair!"
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"Walk, Timmy!"
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"- Timmy! - He walks!"
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"- Wow! - Wow!"
South Park
"Yes! Praise the Lord!"
South Park
"- Praise the Lord! - Praise the Lord!"
South Park
"And now it's like there's one guy who's horrible to me,"
South Park
"but I'm totally sexually attracted to,"
South Park
"and then one guy who's really nice to me,"
South Park
"but I'm not sexually attracted to at all."
South Park
"Wow, that really sucks."
South Park
"I've asked everybody for advice, but nobody seems to know the answer."
South Park
"Well, there is one person who I always used to ask when I needed advice."
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"- Who? - God."
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"God? I can't do that."
South Park
"I haven't spoken to God in, like, 5,000 years."
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"Well, then, maybe it's time."
South Park
"For he is Lord"
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"Lord, Lord, Lord"
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"- Where are you from, little boy? - Denver."
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"And God is telling me that you have"
South Park
"- bad eyesight, is that it? - Yeah, that's right!"
South Park
"Well, God is gonna heal those eyes and save you from the... Devil be gone!"
South Park
"- Hurray! - Hurray!"
South Park
"For he is Lord Lord, Lord, Lord"
South Park
"Right here we have a little girl who is very, very ugly."
South Park
"Do you believe he is gonna cure your face of the uglies?"
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"- Yes! - He is gonna take that ugly face"
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"and make you reasonable to look at!"
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"Oh, good Lord, somebody say "amen"!"
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"- Amen! - Amen!"
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"Lord, Lord, Lord"
South Park
"Hi, hi. Welcome to Heaven, brother."
South Park
"You followed the Mormon faith and so you've been let in."
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"- Actually, I'm just stopping by. - Well, you picked a great time."
South Park
"We've got cookies and punch and we're just about to start playing charades!"
South Park
"so we can sing songs about how much it hurts to lie!"
South Park
"Yeah!"
South Park
"Look, I just need to talk with God. Is he around?"
South Park
"Sure, all you have to do is say his name and he's there."
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"I'm so grateful for that."
South Park
"- Me, too! - Me, too!"
South Park
"Great, thanks."
South Park
"Hello, God?"
South Park
"It's... Satan."
South Park
"Yea, look upon me and know me."
South Park
"Hi, God."
South Park
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