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Clips from 30 Rock - 100: Part 2 (S05E05)

"And This is definitely the gas talking,"
30 Rock
"but I'd be a lot worse off if I never met you, Lemon."
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"And I'm proud to have you as a mentee."
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"I framed that article."
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"We're going to do the best show ever,"
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"and out on the plaza, a bird landed on my apple!"
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"I though he was going to eat it, but he just sat there!"
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"What next? A different bird landing on a different apple?"
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"Where are you, Tray?"
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"- Yes! - Yes!"
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"I'm going to need an Obama cold open, a fart doctor,"
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"and you know what, write up that bum's Empire State Building idea."
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"- Why? - Tracy, come on!"
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"I just had a meeting with News down on 4."
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"Brian Williams sure gets close to you when he talks."
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"Anyway, I thought I'd just swing by"
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"Ah! He is here, he just likes to learn his lines in the bathroom"
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"Actors. Am I right?"
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"You know, I once had to speak to the Screen Actors' Guild."
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"But you couldn't make movies and TV without them."
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"Who was in that?"
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"Tracy, you can do this. You have to be at the show tonight!"
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"Tracy who? I don't even know who I am anymore!"
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"Look, you think the world has turned its back on you?"
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"I know a place where that's not true."
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"That's right, party time!"
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"I hadn't spoken to him in 13 years."
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"Because like you said in your movie, "I invent my tomorrow!""
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"But I wasn't even supposed to say that."
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""Shareen, I hope Doctor Mugutu has good news about my endoscopy.""
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"You wanted to see me, Ms. Maroney?"
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"Candles, incense, disco music."
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"Do you remember that silly joke about me having your baby?"
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"Yes. So crazy!"
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"I know! It's crazy!"
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"Unless you're into it."
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"What?"
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"No, ma'am. That would be wrong. We're not married."
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"We can do whatever we want."
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"but this is wrong."
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"I'll get you when you're sleeping!"
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"You're back!"
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"Thanks for setting me up with another classic quote."
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"I borrowed your whale semen candle. It didn't work, by the way."
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"I'm just packing up a few things and then I'm going."
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"Wait, where are you going?"
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"I can't stop the horrible respect people have for me."
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"Look, I would never say this on the record."
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"The show needs you. And I need you."
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"I'd rather do the show than have a baby."
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"But you don't understand."
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"No, I do understand. Look at Roman Polanski."
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"No, thank you."
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"Or Elia Kazan."
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"He told the government his friends were communists,"
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"then got a standing ovation at the Oscars!"
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"That's crazy!"
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"You know, when you think about it,"
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"the only celebrities who completely undo their good will"
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"are the murderers."
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"John Wilkes Booth, Phil Spector, O.J. Simpson,"
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"Shoot someone, huh?"
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"I guess it would take a pretty big gas leak"
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"to make you think that was a good idea!"
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"20 hours of comedy."
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"Look, Liz, if this is going to work out between you and me,"
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"you should know, my tarantula sleeps on my face."
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"Yeah, 'cause you called me."
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"Do you not understand what that means?"
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"No, not really. Gas has no effect on me at all."
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"it was right next to a gas works in Queens."
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"It ventilated into the cafeteria."
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"We got a big settlement from the city."
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"that the families could share, but then that sank."
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"But you know what?"
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"that I'll never do better than you, Liz Lemon,"
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"'cause you're a cook in the bedroom, and a whore in the kitchen."
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"that you keep bringing me back into your life for a reason."
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"Supas, take out the trash."
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"Don't order me around, woman!"
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"Wait, you're not Sideways Jack!"
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"Yeah. I get it. Do you?"
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"If you're my future, I'm going to jump."
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"I studied Time Dilation and Quantum Teleportation in college."
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"No, you didn't. You saw Time Cop!"
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"Really? I never saw Time Cop."
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"Why are you talking like that?"
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"Starting with getting rid of that woman."
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"Listen to him. He's awesome. And you know he's right."
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"Fire Lemon. I don't know if I can do that."
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"Why did I think that would hurt you too?"
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"Jack, be the man you were meant to be: Me."
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"into my 50th birthday party."
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"Why are you both wearing tuxedos?"
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"- It's after 6:00. - It's after 6:00."
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"- What are we, farmers? - What are we, farmers?"
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"Now, go get rid of that woman."
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"Just want to check everything out after your little gas scare."
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"Well, my pen light is working. That's good."
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"dereson by let's go ahead and tear a station let's go la bip head an pip."
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"Excellent."
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"My God, Jenna, are you pregnant?"
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"Did you go swimming in a public pool?"
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"So why am I not happy?"
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"Do I want to be a mother? Should I be a mother?"
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"My God, you're beautiful!"
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"My memories..."
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"Mr. Jordan, I refuse to accept this is happening."
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"I'm sorry, Ken, but maybe Jenna was right."
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"The only way I could come back is if I shoot someone."
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"Why don't we take a deep breath,"
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"I cannot promise you that, Ken, I'm a horrible shot."
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"Hey, Dummy."
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"You know how we were talking earlier about me moving in with you,"
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"Just think about it. I'll make you chili every night."
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"I'll provide for you."
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"I have a new business idea."
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"It's like Netflix, but you go to a store and you pick out your video"
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"It would be like 5 years ago."
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"I just have one duffle bag and a sidecar."
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