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Clips from The Office - Counseling (S07E07)

"You and I, together, go down to that store"
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"And we teach those snobs a lesson."
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"- No, you and I...And I."
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"I'm gonna come with you. - Okay."
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"- Good. All right."
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"- Did you assume that I would automatically side"
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"How about now?"
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"How about now?"
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"How about now?"
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"- Uh, what's your favorite flavor of..."
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"- One hour. - What?"
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"- One hour. We've done one hour."
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"Let's just speed this up."
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"Okay, keep it moving."
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"I wanna do all six hours today."
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"- Okay, I can't count the hour if you don't talk."
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"I know my rights, all I had to do"
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"Is sit here for six hours."
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"And I can't do that unless I honestly..."
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"- Tell me."
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"- Um, apparently... - Pretty woman."
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"In which this sex worker, who is the protagonist..."
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"That can't be right."
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"Andy, how does it... - no, no, no."
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"- What? - I wanna hear you tell it."
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"- Okay, um, the sex worker is denied service"
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"At a fancy store because she does not look wealthy."
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"She later returns, dressed in all the trappings"
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"- Julia Roberts goes in the store, and she's like,"
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""I was in here yesterday, and you people wouldn't help me.""
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"And the girl's like, "yeah.""
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"And Julia Roberts goes..."
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"- "big mistake. Huge.""
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"- I was telling... I was telling that."
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"- How many paper supplies and ink cartridges to go with that?"
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"Okay, sure."
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"- Who can I speak to in this office"
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"About saving on window treatments?"
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"- I don't know."
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"- Is one of you the office administrator?"
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"- Can I show you a few samples?"
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"- Uh, we're not interested."
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"There are a few ways to get promoted."
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"One is to wait for an opening and apply for it."
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"That's the main way."
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"- Toby, can I really tell you anything?"
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"- Of course."
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"- Well, the other night,"
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"Eating my penis... I mean peas."
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"- All right. - That's weird."
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"I think it all stems"
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"From the fact that I was..."
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"I was probed."
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"An a.L.F."
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"Alf."
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"Been probed by Alf."
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"You never see the lower half,"
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"But there's a lower half."
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"- Office administrator."
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"So when did this happen?"
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"- A few months ago."
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"I was talking to someone at corporate."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Who isn't there anymore."
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"- Typical...Yeah, totally. Well, congrats."
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"- Thanks, yeah."
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"We need that, right? - Totally, that's great."
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"- I get paid $40,000 a year. - Great."
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"- Maybe $50,000. - $50,000!"
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"- No, not $50,000."
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"$41,000, I think."
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"- $41,000. - $41,500."
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"- Before me stands your coworker,"
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"Dwight, show them all sides, turn around."
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"Now, today we need your help turning Dwight into a gentleman."
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"- A gentleman, who is a rich snob."
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"Who will go into shopping malls"
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"And drop huge amounts of cash on clothes."
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"- Is he still doing his boycott?"
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"- No, no, this is instead of the boycott. Yeah."
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"- Your shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo."
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"- Maybe something not so monochromatic."
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"Not so matching."
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"- Wait, less matching to appear more rich?"
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"- The glasses are a little..."
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"- I liked them."
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"- Yeah, I liked them too. - I can't see."
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"- Say stuff like, "good morning, good afternoon.""
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"People appreciate that."
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"- Wait, I see you every day. Can I say, "good month?""
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"- I'm telling you how to do this, man."
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"- Okay."
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"- Please and thank you go a long way."
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"- Please."
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"- [English accent] I think he's got it."
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"- And I was raised by wolves."
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"Wait, is it a full moon tonight?"
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"[howls]"
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"[growling]"
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"- Come on, Michael. These are all fake stories."
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"- Yes, yes, they are all fake stories."
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"What sort of twisted mind"
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"Would come up with weird stories like that?"
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"Three hours, we're halfway done."
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"- How?"
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"For the past few months,"
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"I've been the office administrator,"
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"- Right, of course."
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"I'm not blaming you."
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"- Thank you so much."
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"- I just think somebody lost the paperwork."
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"- Oh, boy."
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"Can you get every department head's signature on this,"
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"So I can back this up to corporate?"
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"- Yes, absolutely, right away."
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"- You know what, Michael?"
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"You're right. You win."
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"This is pointless. We're not getting anywhere."
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"I got a bunch of fun stuff,"
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"Why don't we just run out the clock"
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"By playing games, drawing some pictures, talking?"
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