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Clips from The Office - Counseling (S07E07)

"- [imitates bugle]"
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"And approval, Dwight k. Schrute."
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"- Go get 'em, Dwight."
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"- Wish us luck."
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"- Thank you."
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"Ooh, all done."
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"Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful"
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"If it's an important event that you want to remember,"
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"I recommend using a real camera."
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"But I don't care if I forget today."
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"- We could play something more complicated if you'd like."
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"- This is plenty complicated."
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"- So you've played it before?"
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"- I played it once or twice with Jeff."
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"- Who's Jeff?"
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"- So her husband and your stepdad."
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"- Yeah."
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"- Did you guys do much stuff together?"
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"It was weird, though; They took the pitcher"
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"Out of the game, and I felt really bad"
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"Because the pitcher wasn't going to be able to play"
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"With his friends anymore."
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"But Jeff said that the manager was making a really good move"
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"By taking the pitcher out."
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"He really respected the manager."
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"- Ahem."
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"- What? - My place, tonight."
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"Wear this. - Do you have your card?"
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"- Don't forget the pipe."
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"- It's really sad that your dog ran away,"
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"But why did it keep you from going to the park?"
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"- I was afraid I would find him"
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"In the park playing with another kid."
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"- Why?"
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"- I guess that's why I thought he ran away in the first place..."
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"To find a kid he liked better."
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"- Dogs don't do that. - Right?"
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"- When I hear myself say it, it just sounds ridiculous."
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"- It's very important for you"
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"To be liked, isn't it?"
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"- Well, let's not get too..."
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"This isn't a counseling session."
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"Okay."
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"You son of a gun."
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"You son of a bitch."
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"Wow, okay."
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"- I'm just trying to help you, Michael."
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"- You bitch, God! - Michael."
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"- You're very helpful, aren't you?"
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"- I'm trying to... - you try to help everybody."
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"Do you wanna play another game?"
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"- I just wanna... - you are good."
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"But you know what? You can't help people."
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"You couldn't help your marriage."
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"- Hey. - Lose, you lose."
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"I don't need your help,"
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"Nobody needs your help."
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"Nobody wants it! You can't help anybody."
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"Am I gonna make you cry?"
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"- Just fill them out any way you want."
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"- Okay."
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"- Have Erin fax them back to corporate."
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"- Will do."
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"And call me in the morning."
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"Um, about three months ago,"
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"I was talking..."
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"So there's a lot of department heads."
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"But I'm off to a good start."
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"Oh, man, if I can pull this off,"
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"It will be the scam of all scams."
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"- So corporate got your evaluations,"
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"And they wanted me to double-check..."
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"Is that really how you feel about Michael's situation?"
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"- Yes."
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"- I thought he seemed fine."
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"- You marked "severe" in all the categories,"
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"- I saw a TLC show on Kate Walsh's home office."
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"- We can do that. - Right in here."
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"- Easily."
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"Pam? Perfect."
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"About a little office administration problem."
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"- But of course. - Great."
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"The problem, unfortunately,"
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"Is about the office administrator."
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"There is nothing that says"
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"- So weird that there's no paperwork."
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"- At all."
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"- Although, like, unlikely things happen"
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"All the time."
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"My best friend in High School, she went to Australia,"
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"Canberra I think, and she met this guy"
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"Who lived only two streets away from her in America."
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"- Pam, I don't want to accuse you of anything."
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"I just want everything to be back"
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"Admit..."
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"- Admit what?"
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"- I don't want to say it."
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"- Say it."
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"Make a definitive statement, Gabe."
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"In a competitive business environment."
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"- Great."
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"Or anything that an office administrator can handle."
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"- Will do."
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"Could I get one of those nameplates"
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"That says "Gabe lewis"?"
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"- For sure. Anything else?"
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"I'll get it right away."
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"The first lesson of watching"
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"World poker tour at 2:00 A.M.:"
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"- Is that what we're here for?"
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"I like it."
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"- It's a pewter wizard, holding a crystal."
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"You know you can't buy that now, right?"
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"But I'm saying right now, we can't do that."
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"'cause I'm here for one thing: Revenge."
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"- That's it. - Okay."
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"- Let me know if I can help you with anything."
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"- Excuse me, sir. - Yes?"
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"- I was here yesterday, and you refused to wait on me."
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"- I remember, yes."
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