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Clips from The Simpsons - The Wreck of the Relationship (S26E26)

"He's very healthy."
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"Milk. That's for babies"
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"because of what they did in the war."
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"Broccoli."
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"I love the stuff."
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"until you eat that broccoli."
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"And I'm going to sit right here until you do."
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"You'll never out-sit me."
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"Oh, really? You think your skinny butt"
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"can sit on that hard, wooden chair longer than"
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"El Gordo?"
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"No."
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"Read your broccoli."
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"I know, but they're not gonna"
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"Mm-hmm?"
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"Today's our draft."
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"I've got to pick a good fantasy team."
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"When I lost last year,"
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"they made me do something so humiliating..."
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"Jeebus loves Tebow."
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"And so the fat man caves."
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"If you need me, I'll be up in my room eating cereal."
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"my wife-- to draft my fantasy football team."
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"I-I don't really"
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"know that much about the..."
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"My team name is "Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe""
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"Draft with God, honey."
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"Martin's been secretly"
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"Sounds like quite a match."
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"I'll never eat those filthy mini-trees."
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"Today, I wear the vest."
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"Now I am never eating that broccoli."
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"Homie. Homie, the fantasy draft just ended."
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"It is called football, right?"
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"This has got to stop."
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"I can get another job. Who wouldn't want to hire"
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"I could be a prison warden"
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"or a Southern anything."
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"Bart picks one of the smoothies and drinks it--"
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"and this horrible impasse can come to an end."
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"Hmm..."
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"You did that on purpose!"
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"You lick this table clean!"
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"Come on. Lick it."
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"Come on, now, you can still lick it."
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"There's only one thing left to try."
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"Put my sack back on. I'm trying to sleep."
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"Hmm?"
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"Where are we?"
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"I don't know."
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"Eat your broccoli. No."
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"We've been kidnapped."
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"Not kidnapped, shanghaied."
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"My name is Captain Bowditch."
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"and use therapeutic techniques to solve father-son conflicts..."
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"For there's no better place"
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"to solve relationship issues than on..."
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"The Relation Ship."
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"It works two ways."
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"Pretty good."
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"Hey, lame ass,"
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"Thanks to you, we're stuck on a stupid therapy boat."
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"I'm the lame ass?"
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"The only lame ass on this boat"
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"is you and all the other lame asses!"
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"Shouldn't we do something?"
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"Ooh, I'm getting a message from your father's"
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"Mom, it's trash talk."
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"And I'm gonna do something about it."
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"that make-believe computer football is no excuse"
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"And now, a moment of silence"
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"for the victims of the Shelbyville sinkhole."
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"She's under a lot of stress."
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"Ahoy, lads and dads."
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"your feelings in front of strangers..."
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"Now, Homer."
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"D'oh!"
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"what brings you fellas to The Relation Ship?"
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"My daddy's always overpraisin' me."
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"Aw, that's great honesty, son."
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"I'm so proud of you."
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"Why won't you let me fail?"
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"What about you, Bart, Homer? Homer?"
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"But we've only been at sea one day."
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"When's the last time you had citrus?"
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"I had a mimosa at brunch a few years ago."
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"Well, Bart, while your father spends the next few days"
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"Except for Wednesday night when we project a movie on the sails."
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"But, really, a lot of climbing."
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"Sheepshank, bowline, clove hitch..."
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"Dad, look, I did a round turn with two half hitches."
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"You're enjoying this, aren't you?!"
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"You're my son and you will hate what I hate."
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"Angled parking. Lemons."
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"And this boat!"
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"I'm old enough to choose my own things to hate."
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"Why, Bart, that's a perfect halyard cleat."
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"Just like you taught me, Captain."
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"over, over, over, over, over, under, over, half hitch."
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"Well, the standard form is under, over, under, over,"
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"around, over, over, under..."
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"Fathers, sons,"
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"I finally got over my sea sickness."
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"Terrific, Homer. Just terrific."
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"But one sailor has truly taken to nautical life."
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"Wow."
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"So now I can give orders?"
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"Wait a minute. I'm his father."
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"He's your superior officer,"
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"so he can and will order you around."
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"And what if I refuse?"
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"Oh...!"
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"I'm sorry we had to discipline you."
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"on the father/son hornpipe dance."
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"Seaman Homer, you're supposed to be swabbing the deck."
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"Why should I? It's just gonna get dirty again."
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"I'm in charge. You do what I say."
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"I'm swabbing this giant tree that the sail grows out of."
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"Hey! What the...?"
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"Fantasy football has turned every man in this town"
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