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Clips from American Dad! - Rapture's Delight (S05E05)

"And keep in mind that the dollar is weak right now."
American Dad!
"[Stan] Great. No spaces."
American Dad!
"Ascend? You're flying now."
American Dad!
"[Together] # Joy to the world #"
American Dad!
"Then I've been naughty..."
American Dad!
"it's because I was focusing on the dolls..."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] Look."
American Dad!
"# Gloria #"
American Dad!
"- Mom! - Dad!"
American Dad!
"Lift me up, Lord. Here, I'll help."
American Dad!
"All right, somebody call Mel Gibson and apologize."
American Dad!
"It starts with all true Christians floating up to heaven."
American Dad!
"Well, Jo-Jo, they get to witness the second coming of Jesus."
American Dad!
"Jesus is coming back?"
American Dad!
"a seven-year war..."
American Dad!
"[Jo-Jo] Antichrist?"
American Dad!
"The Antichrist is the son of Satan."
American Dad!
"Hello? Yes, I need to charter a helicopter ASAP."
American Dad!
"I can't imagine John Goodman's that high up yet."
American Dad!
"##[Fanfare]"
American Dad!
"- [Gagging] - Francine, shh. I want to hear this."
American Dad!
"- Stan. - Oh, it's me, Stan Smith."
American Dad!
"Don't let her moral failings screw me out of paradise."
American Dad!
"Stan, you're right."
American Dad!
"Really? Oh, Jesus, you are the best."
American Dad!
"Later, world. Smell my ass."
American Dad!
"Boom, you're in. Just like that time at Cabo Wabo."
American Dad!
"Did you go with your boyfriend?"
American Dad!
"I had a husband, but it's over. He... left me."
American Dad!
"Okay, right here. This is good."
American Dad!
"All right, Jesus, rapture me."
American Dad!
"- Take off your clothes. - Oh."
American Dad!
"Well, damn it, look again."
American Dad!
"Oh, next you'll say I let him bend me over a Dumpster..."
American Dad!
"before I came to my senses."
American Dad!
"Can you believe it?"
American Dad!
"[Gasps]"
American Dad!
"I dropped my meatball in the pool."
American Dad!
"[Belches]"
American Dad!
"That reminds me. I got you a birthday present."
American Dad!
"I stopped doing things for you the day you stole my woman."
American Dad!
"- Hah! - [Objects Clink]"
American Dad!
"But not because of her."
American Dad!
"Uh, what if we go through sector 16?"
American Dad!
"Okay. Then what do you propose we do?"
American Dad!
"Okay, Qui Lo. Hit it."
American Dad!
"[Gasps, Continues In Foreign Language]"
American Dad!
"Lovers' quarrel?"
American Dad!
"Well, well."
American Dad!
"One of my father's side projects."
American Dad!
"The lair of the Antichrist..."
American Dad!
"Really? Seinfeld has his own car garage in Manhattan."
American Dad!
"Do you know how expensive that is?"
American Dad!
"and converted it to hold all of his Porsches."
American Dad!
"[Speaks Foreign Language]"
American Dad!
"[Laughing] That's funny, Qui Lo. What is the deal with that?"
American Dad!
"[Roger Screams]"
American Dad!
"After I defeat the Antichrist, I'm to begin the long road of rebuilding civilization."
American Dad!
"No. There's a prep school two blocks away."
American Dad!
"Francine!"
American Dad!
"Kneel before the Lord, punk."
American Dad!
"[Line Ratcheting]"
American Dad!
"I'm just in this for the rapture."
American Dad!
"You know. It's the opposite of " Forgive them, Father..."
American Dad!
"I'm not handy at all."
American Dad!
"- Stan, what are you doing? - [Whining]"
American Dad!
"In one minute, this place is gonna be blown to kingdom come."
American Dad!
"[Screeches]"
American Dad!
"- Stan! - Why, Stan?"
American Dad!
"Francine, I was wrong to ever think I was better than you."
American Dad!
"You're the best, so you deserve the best."
American Dad!
"I'm kind of bleeding out here."
American Dad!
"Here, let me help you."
American Dad!
"Our wedding rings."
American Dad!
"# I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day #"
American Dad!
"# The sun in the sky has a smile on his face #"
American Dad!
"# Oh, boy, it's swell to say #"
American Dad!
"Oh, come on, Francine."
American Dad!
"Don't make me late for church again."
American Dad!
"God pays twice as much attention on Christmas..."
American Dad!
"like the media when a white kid goes missing."
American Dad!
"Sorry. I was putting on my new dress."
American Dad!
"I can't take you to God's house like that."
American Dad!
"I can see your calves."
American Dad!
"You look like a two-dollar whore."
American Dad!
"So, to wrap up, that's an insult."
American Dad!
"See? At least Roger shows the proper respect..."
American Dad!
"for this holiest of days."
American Dad!
"Oh, I love your religion- for the crazy."
American Dad!
"Virgin birth, water into wine..."
American Dad!
"It's- It's like Harry Potter but it causes genocide and bad folk music."
American Dad!
"Huh? Huh? [Laughs]"
American Dad!
"Who- Who am I nudging? There's no one next to me."
American Dad!
"[Bell Chiming]"
American Dad!
"Thanks to the fair-weather Christians..."
American Dad!
"who only show up on Christmas and Easter."
American Dad!
"Well, we'll see how fair the weather is..."
American Dad!
"when the rapture comes and they're all left behind."
American Dad!
"Rapture? What's that?"
American Dad!
"It's the first sign of the end of the world..."
American Dad!
"when all true Christians, like myself, ascend to heaven and..."
American Dad!
"- [Brakes Screech] - Enough."
American Dad!
"You and the kids go find seats while we park."
American Dad!
"I hope I haven't missed the part where the three Chinese guys..."
American Dad!
"give perfume to the star baby."
American Dad!
"[Laughing] It's- It's like the diaries of a madman."
American Dad!
"## [Orchestra]"
American Dad!
"I'm beset by phony Christians."
American Dad!
"Stan, honey, it's Christmas. Relax."
American Dad!
"I won't relax."
American Dad!
"I'm a better Christian than anyone in there."
American Dad!
"I'm the one who drives by Hebrew schools..."
American Dad!
"baptizing kids with a Super Soaker filled with garlic water."
American Dad!
"[Exhales] Here. I have an idea."
American Dad!
"We can't watch church from here."
American Dad!
"This is where the slow janitor lives."
American Dad!
"It reeks of dead mice and moldy Highlights magazines."
American Dad!
"Oh, I hate seeing you stressed..."
American Dad!
"so I'm gonna give you your last present."
American Dad!
"Francine, we can't do this in the house of the Lord. This is wrong."
American Dad!
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