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Clips from The Boondocks - Lovely Ebony Brown (S03E03)

"She just smarter than you."
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"Let me talk to her. No."
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"Don't you go over there, Ruckus."
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"I'm okay, thanks."
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"Whew, don't mess it up."
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"Be calm, take it slow."
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"Mm-hm, hot date, tonight, huh, brother?"
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"Yeah, it's like everything she says is perfect."
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"But I'm taking it slow,"
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"just getting to know each other. Mm-hm."
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"There you go. Good luck, brother."
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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"All I have is a 5."
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"All right, I'll take that for now."
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"Well, don't you think a 5 is a bit much?"
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"All you did was turn the water on and hand me a paper towel."
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"I didn't even ask for it. You don't have to ask for that."
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"It comes with the service, nigga,"
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"just like the assortment of gums, mints, lotions,"
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"But I didn't use any of that stuff, I just had to pee."
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"Now I'm happy to tip, but a 5 is too much."
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"Too much? For sitting a foot and a half away"
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"from piss and shit and nasty-ass farts"
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"I shouldn't have to go to the ATM"
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"every time I wanna use the bathroom."
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"Nigga, get your ass away from my commodes."
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"Get your ass back here with my mints."
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"You lucky I ain't allowed to leave this bathroom, nigga."
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"Well, clearly you hadn't checked jail."
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"Ha, jail?"
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"Oh, now you too good for jail, is that it?"
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"A jail nigga was good enough for momma,"
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"but not good enough for you, huh?"
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"Ruckus, stop."
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"Ebony, don't listen to him, he's half-retarded."
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"He's only got one eye."
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"No, no, Robert, Robert."
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"I'm doing this for your own good."
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"Wha...? I mean,"
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"his views are obviously reprehensible,"
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"but there's just enough truth to make me examine myself"
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"in a critical light. Plus, he's hilarious"
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"and thus oddly likeable."
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"Huh? Huh?"
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"Well, it's, uh..."
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"I- It's a... It's a pleasure to meet you as well,"
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"I ordered the cheese sandwich and that I ate"
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"Martin Luther King's chicken pesto."
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"Martin started ordering it after I started ordering it."
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"And I said, and pardon my language,"
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""You know what, Jesse? I'm sick of you.""
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""Nigga, I'm gonna cut your nuts off." So I said,"
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""Ah, fuck it, it's only a sandwich." True story."
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"Do you know how amazing that is?"
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"Do you... Do you know how amazing your life is?"
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"Well, Robert. Hope you not feeling"
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"a shit-ton to feed this wildebeest."
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"Wildebeest?"
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"Oh, well, this one's on the wildebeest."
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"I checked her out. I'm telling you she's wonderful."
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"Sure she's not gonna hurt anybody?"
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"Almost positive."
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"All right, Granddad. Go ahead, fall in love again."
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"He doing it again, Huey."
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"I can see it in his eye."
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"She's coming over tonight."
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"And you two are going to behave. Got it?"
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"Why don't you just sign your retirement benefits over to her?"
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"All your bank accounts too."
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"You just met her yesterday."
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"What's taking so long? Shut up."
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"And you, you an enabler."
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"Enabling-ass nigga."
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"Yeah."
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"Well, I understand why Robert"
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"was worried at first."
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"There's a lot of crazy women out there."
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"Ruckus? What are you doing here? How did you get in?"
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"It's okay, Robert, really."
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"Robert, may I use your little girl's room?"
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"So how did you two kids meet in a park"
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"in the middle of a workday?"
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"Taking a long lunch?"
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"so my hours are flexible."
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"Wow, so what kind of work do you do?"
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"Well, up until recently we raised money"
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"to find a cure for Patterson's disease."
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"Well, it's a very serious terminal illness."
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"Well, it was a serious illness."
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"Yep. I've never heard"
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"of one of those foundations actually curing anything."
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"Yes, that sure is amazing"
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"that you cured that disease"
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"that ain't nobody ever heard of."
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"Oh, tell us, tell us, what other incredible things"
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"have you done that only you know about?"
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"Were you guys just talking"
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"My Nana had Patterson's disease."
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"Oh, hon. I never knew that."
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"She cured it. Oh, my God,"
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"you saved my Nana's life."
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"She's amazing."
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"I tell you all, it's a trap."
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"Beneath that baby-soft lotiony exterior, them wide,"
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"inviting hips, and that ample chocolate bosom"
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"is a savage, Africanized,"
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"pot-boiling, bone-in-the-nose, doing-a-monkey-dance,"
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"playing-drums female."
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"Ruckus, get the hell on. Go."
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"Hey, you may as well be fucking an orangutan."
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"Didn't I tell you? She's perfect."
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"She's the perfect woman. I can't find"
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"anything wrong with her. Right, Granddad,"
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"maybe she not a ho. Maybe she just"
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"marry you and take everything when you die."
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"Let's call her a businesswoman."
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"All right, boys, time for bed."
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"Huey, Riley,"
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"it was great meeting the both of you."
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"It was quite a relief to meet you, Miss Ebony."
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