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Clips from The Boondocks - Lovely Ebony Brown (S03E03)

"all my Granddad's money."
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"Ah!"
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"Sweet thing, you."
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"Wait. Can we turn the lights on?"
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"I like to be able to see. Lights on?"
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"I'd rather keep it very, very dark."
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"Uh, just use your imagination."
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"Okay. Whatever you like."
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"Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess, let me guess."
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"And Ed the Third gets shot in the chest."
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"Yes."
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"You have these crazy adventures"
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"with these bizarre characters and it's so much fun."
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"Never thought about it like that."
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"Seemed like a bunch of problems."
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"I love it that you fight people with a belt,"
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"I love it that you're friends"
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"I know I shouldn't like any of these things, but I do."
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"I want to be a character."
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"Uh, cameo or re-occurring?"
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"Oh, my."
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"She's the perfect woman."
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"What's the problem? She too good for me."
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"Is that what she said? No,"
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"she says she likes and accepts me for who I am."
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"She doesn't know the real me."
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"No one normal can love the real me."
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"I have to do something drastic before I screw it up."
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"I should try to be someone totally different."
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"You know, like Tyrese or Chris Brown."
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"Someone who's not a dorky old man."
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"Yup. Makes sense. And I shouldn't tell her"
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"how much I like her. Women like the chase, don't they?"
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"Yup. Soon as she thinks"
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"to another old man to satisfy her sick old-man fetish."
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"Another man? Of course."
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"with good blood pressure running around?"
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"And he's probably buff too."
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"Yup, real buff."
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"Like Tyrese buff?"
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"Nah, like 50 Cent buff."
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"Oh, no!"
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"He probably spends all his time in the gym getting strong."
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"I bet she thinks of him every day,"
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"even when she's with me. Especially when she with you."
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"Granddad, this is silly."
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"Just relax and be yourself."
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"Myself? Nah, that'll never work."
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"Yeah, uh, I'm looking for something like a homing device."
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"See, I have a friend who needs to follow around"
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"a young lady friend."
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"Uh, not stalking her or anything."
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"You know, that would be real creepy."
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"So you just put that little GPS gadget thingy"
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"Lord, the white man sure is brilliant."
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"in darkness shall come to light."
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"I can't believe it."
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"Why, Lord, why?"
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"Oh."
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"Let me see. Let me see."
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"Oh, my God, look at that."
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"I'm so sorry, Robert, but I told you,"
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"that Afro-tramp could not be..."
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"Sorry, squirrel."
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"Hm, I don't know."
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"I don't think I'm a fan of the earring."
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"Well, I like it. It's my ear,"
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"I can wear an earring. Maybe two."
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"You saying I'm too old to wear an earring?"
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"Let's all laugh at the old guy."
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"Look, do you want me to take off?"
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"I feel like I'm getting on your nerves."
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"Stop looking at my woman!"
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"Hey, what the hell?"
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"Why are y'all staring at my girl like that?"
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"I know she's hot. I know she's got a big,"
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"And y'all think because I'm a pudgy old man"
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"that y'all can just look at her when you want."
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"I may not be young. I may not be buff like Tyrese,"
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"or the washboard abs of a Tyson Beckford,"
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"or even the shit-your-pants scariness of a Kimbo Slice."
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"But don't think I won't punch one of you punkasses in the eye"
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"You! Hey, punk."
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"Please don't break up with me."
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"You don't have to keep apologizing, Robert."
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"I'm worried about you."
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"I don't know what came over me."
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"I just... I feel so old."
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"There's so many younger, sexier men out there,"
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"like bald Boris Kodjoe,"
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"or the British sophistication of a Idris Elba."
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"Robert, I don't want to date those guys,"
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"I've already dated those guys."
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"What? I'm kidding."
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"Whew. Thought you was a ho for a second."
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"Nobody told you to fight for her."
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"She'll never respect you now."
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"I mean, she probably didn't want to say it to your face,"
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"Shut up. I'm not listening to you."
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"It's a shame too."
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"give me another chance. Is that right?"
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"How long since she called you?"
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"Hey, it's me again."
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"I just sent you a text message and a e-mail,"
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"and I just put an actual letter in the mail."
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"but the man said they don't exist anymore."
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"I tried to page you but the man said that doesn't exist anymore."
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"So, uh, just, uh, call me when you can."
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"I'll just be here, waiting."
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"I'm starting to look like you."
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"You did?"
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"Twitter? What the hell is a Twitter?"
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"stupid computer things. I can't keep up."
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"Well, her Twitter says she's in Malaysia."
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"Malaysia? What's she doing there?"
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"Or maybe she went for the inexpensive male prostitutes."
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"She probably just needs a little space."
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"Yeah, a little other-side-of-the-planet space."
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"Granddad, you better hurry before she gets to the moon."
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"It's settled then. I'm going to Malaysia."
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