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Clips from The Simpsons - Thank God It's Doomsday (S16E16)

"It's everywhere!"
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"We were fools!"
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"And because we rejected God--"
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"tacitly accepting Satan--"
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"we must suffer through the Apocalypse."
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"I thought all religions were a path to God."
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"I was wrong!"
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"This movie will haunt me"
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"for the rest of my life, just like Cannonball Run II."
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"Marge, what if the Rapture is coming"
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"and I haven't led a good enough life?"
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"I could be... left below!"
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"Sweetie, don't worry."
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"all the dogs getting on a spaceship and leaving."
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"Thanks Marge, you've put my mind at ease."
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"Now how about a little "rapture" for Mama?"
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"I could be the Rachel to your Jacob."
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"Marge is right--"
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"the Rapture isn't coming!"
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"There haven't been any ominous signs!"
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"It's just not workin' out, Barry."
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"Yeah. I guess I'd better study for the police exam again."
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"Blood is raining from the sky!"
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"We'll save ya!"
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"This ain't personal."
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"I just love to scrimshaw."
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"Judgment day is at hand."
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"Can I help you?"
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"We're having a sale on Bible magnifying glasses."
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"Be... gat."
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"Yes, this one is 15% off."
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"And would you like to take advantage of our"
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"Here's a pretty little wig for Lisa..."
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"And a handsome toupee for Bart!"
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"So, you still think I'm crazy for saving all your hair trimmings?"
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"Let's get the rest of this hair back in the freezer."
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"Homer, you didn't touch your second dinner tonight, and you're reading books."
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"Word books!"
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"What's going on?"
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"Marge, the Rapture is nigh."
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"This whole deal is scientifically proven."
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"The Book of Revelations has 404 verses..."
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"Add the number of people at the Last Supper..."
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"...minus the number of Filipinos in the Bible..."
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"And you get..."
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"Three million, one hundred and..."
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"3:15 p.m., May 18th!"
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"That's when the Rapture will begin!"
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"That's one week from today."
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"A week?"
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"That's..."
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"Seven days from now!"
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"Spend your children's college fund!"
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"Thaw that turkey now!"
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"where overweight doomsayer Homer Simpson is predicting"
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"the world will end..."
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"Homer, what turned you from sad drunk to mad monk?"
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"God loves you!"
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"He's gonna kill you!"
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"there's no way in God's Heaven"
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"but maybe He'll let me in, if I warn others"
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"as I previously shouted."
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"Any other cuckoo yip-yap?"
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"Here's one."
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"Revelations 6:13."
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"Just before the Rapture, "the stars will fall to the Earth.""
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"for that one."
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"There you have it folks."
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"is gonna be bigger and better than ever."
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"We've got romaine, iceberg, radicchio,"
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"Homie, I'm glad you're getting exercise."
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"I just wish it wasn't crazy exercise."
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"Marge, in a world gone mad, only a lunatic is truly insane."
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"Dad, we love you, but we just don't think the world is coming to an end. Yet."
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"A hundred years, global warming--"
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"we're goners, but for now,"
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"do you think you could lighten up on this "left below" stuff?"
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"Well... I guess this thing does look pretty silly."
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"Let's all take off our sandwich boards and watch TV."
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"Live, from Springfield Stadium,"
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"it's Krusty the Clown's Celebrity Salute to Specials!"
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"And look! Here is America's favorite waste of taxpayer dollars--"
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"the Blue Angels!"
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"I thought we were getting Charlie's Angels."
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"Oh, God! We're going down!"
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"I don't wanna die next to Kathy Griffin!"
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"The stars are falling to the Earth!"
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"Well, that's our show for tonight."
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"I'd like to thank all the very talented people who broke my fall."
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"To all the fans of Los Lobos, mucho, mucho condolences."
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"Homer, you were right!"
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"That must mean you were right about the Rapture, too."
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"Yeah, I was wondering if you could help save my soul."
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"I've done stuff I ain't proud of,"
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"and the stuff I am proud of is disgusting."
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"What are we supposed to do on Wednesday?"
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"Cause that girl's school says I can't do that no more."
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"When the time comes, we won't be in our homes,"
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"because we're all gonna go..."
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"Exactly."
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"Or maybe it was a drunken haze..."
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"Well, well, well, looks like someone's having a pre-Rapture party."
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"a meeting of gay witches for abortion."
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"You wouldn't be interested."
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"All right, everybody."
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"Pair up with a Rapture buddy who will watch your back through all eternity."
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"Trouble in paradise?"
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"All through history, self-anointed seers have predicted"
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"the end of the world, and they've always been wrong."
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"But sweetheart, I have something they didn't have--"
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"It's all right, Lisa."
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"Don't go. More Heaven for me."
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"Lisa's going!"
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"Come on, Lisa."
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"No one in this family is being left below."
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"Wait for me!"
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"Don't worry, Dad!"
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"There's a bus coming for you!"
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"Drive, drive!"
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"99 minutes until we're all saved 99 minutes to go"
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