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Clips from Veep - South Carolina (S07E07)

"These are fresh bagels from New York,"
Veep
"which I'm very excited about 'cause the president hates bagels..."
Veep
"Uh, so why don't we get started?"
Veep
"Of course, of course, I've love that."
Veep
"Here we go."
Veep
"- Mr. Walsh. - Yeah?"
Veep
"This is your meeting. You're in charge."
Veep
"Oh, I know. I know. I know."
Veep
"Of course."
Veep
"What up, Mojo?"
Veep
"When are you and I gonna have"
Veep
"You have ten minutes."
Veep
"- Ma'am! So good to see you again. - Amy!"
Veep
"It's great. So the reason that we are here is..."
Veep
"- Yeah. - Congressman Ryan is considering stepping aside"
Veep
"- and endorsing you... - I want vice president."
Veep
"- That's not negotiable. - Let's go."
Veep
"No, I'm willing to negotiate."
Veep
"What about Department of the Exterior?"
Veep
"Tell 'em about your big new job, Mike."
Veep
"I have my own webcast on BuzzFeed."
Veep
"It would be funny if you were American."
Veep
"Just one last question, Mr. McLintock,"
Veep
"are you still close with President Selina Meyer?"
Veep
"If you will just head down the hallway,"
Veep
"we will have you sign the application."
Veep
"- Thank you so much. - Thank you."
Veep
"but I could write it down."
Veep
"O- kay."
Veep
"My father started this youth center for one reason:"
Veep
"That's right. Gangs and..."
Veep
"- Huh?! - Ma'am,"
Veep
"last month a local eight-year-old boy was shot by police"
Veep
"when his candy bar was mistaken for a gun."
Veep
"You know I don't read what you give me."
Veep
"Let's continue the tour. Come on, kids are waiting."
Veep
"but also his charisma!"
Veep
"Now I'm blushin' and a little bit crushin'."
Veep
"I would really love to be able to count on"
Veep
"your endorsement this time around."
Veep
"- Really? - Yeah."
Veep
"- You're gonna make me say it? - Say what?"
Veep
"We've got a sister runnin', ya know."
Veep
"We got race in the race. Praise Jesus!"
Veep
"Yes. Indeedy. I, you know,"
Veep
"Progress!"
Veep
"But your daddy used to say to me"
Veep
"that I was the blackest white woman he ever met."
Veep
"My dad said that to a lot of white women."
Veep
"That was his move. Now you know."
Veep
"Oh. I would love to see you at services on Sunday,"
Veep
"and I would love it if you would speak to the congregation."
Veep
"Well, I'm... I'm, uh,"
Veep
"I'm pretty booked up. No. Just take it away."
Veep
"we believe you are positioned"
Veep
"suspending Congressman Ryan's campaign."
Veep
"Fine. What's on your mind, Congressman Ryan?"
Veep
"because my mind's on my money..."
Veep
"I thought she'd be more..."
Veep
"I thought you'd be more familiar."
Veep
"I mean, did you at least watch Martin?"
Veep
"Could you give me HUD? Nobody cares about it."
Veep
"Ma'am, the new anti-Kemi mail pieces just came in."
Veep
"What the tragic mulatto fuck?"
Veep
"Kemi looks like an albino."
Veep
"And I'm so black, people are gonna start calling me articulate."
Veep
"Hey, ma'am. Presenting my first faith-based outreach video."
Veep
"Look, guys, if we're not getting the black vote,"
Veep
"then we have to take a hard turn to the white."
Veep
"Uh, in South Carolina,"
Veep
"that is not a significant slice of the pie."
Veep
"Then we're gonna have to find a way"
Veep
"Like, what appeals to them..."
Veep
"What appeals to them? What do they want?"
Veep
"Well, my polling shows their main wants are jobs,"
Veep
"- Okay, not gonna speak to that. - I'm not finished, ma'am."
Veep
"Listen, we have to find a way"
Veep
"to say those things without actually saying them."
Veep
"- Like a dog whistle. - Yes, exactly!"
Veep
"Okay. You know what? You could talk about charter schools. Mention something..."
Veep
"Come on, that's like a dog whisper."
Veep
"from a pro-Confederacy group."
Veep
"That's like a dog exploding space shuttle."
Veep
"- I need something loud, not too loud like... - Dog chainsaw?"
Veep
"- No, that's too droney. - A dog snowmobile."
Veep
"Why would I know what that even sounds like? I mean, seriously."
Veep
"- Steady. - Exactly like a dog chainsaw..."
Veep
"Okay, this is closed. I don't know... this is closed."
Veep
"This is my first strategic meeting at the big table."
Veep
"Okay, guys, what you need to do"
Veep
"Something that makes a NASCAR race look"
Veep
"like a Jay-Z concert, you know?"
Veep
"Okay, well, right? I know."
Veep
"Where are you registered? Child Protective Services?"
Veep
"No, Gymboree."
Veep
"- Oh, gosh, ma'am. I forgot. - Yeah?"
Veep
"The guy at the Chinese consulate"
Veep
"with great interest and hopes to return to your conversation"
Veep
"about the Diaoyu Islands in the near future."
Veep
"Hey, can you go look at, uh, Gary's faith video?"
Veep
"- Yeah, we need some help. - Oh, sure."
Veep
"- You need the McLintock spin? - Sure."
Veep
"What the fuck was... out!"
Veep
"What was that?!"
Veep
"A misfortune cookie."
Veep
"Who cares about an island that doesn't have"
Veep
"a Four Seasons on it?"
Veep
"The Diaoyu Islands are important"
Veep
"to the Chinese militarily, but the United States"
Veep
"still does not recognize them as Chinese territory."
Veep
"diddly-squat, unless..."
Veep
"You become President."
Veep
"Don't finish that sentence, ma'am."
Veep
"We can't have this discussion. We are still a nation of laws."
Veep
"Of course, but let's be clear"
Veep
"Okay? We are not talking about letting the Chinese"
Veep
"that you cannot trust the Chinese."
Veep
"And they will not sell you out in a Beijing minute."
Veep
"Wait, they will or they won't?"
Veep
"I don't know."
Veep
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