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Clips from Taxi - Paper Marriage (S01E01)

"to... "marry.""
Taxi
"Oh, I see."
Taxi
"Yeah, if you marry an American woman"
Taxi
"they won't deport you."
Taxi
"You take tongue right out of my mouth."
Taxi
"So, all we have to do is find a woman, right?"
Taxi
"Phyllis George."
Taxi
"Right. Phyllis George."
Taxi
"Hey, it's my pal, Latka!"
Taxi
"That's why I was buying you time when the feds came in."
Taxi
"didn't we, pal?"
Taxi
"Hey, Latka..."
Taxi
"when's the last time I gave you money?"
Taxi
"A long time, huh?"
Taxi
"How about if I..."
Taxi
"if I give you a buck, huh?"
Taxi
"You like that?"
Taxi
"You want to play hard ball, huh?"
Taxi
"Well, how about two bucks?"
Taxi
"Money talks, boys..."
Taxi
"( yells )"
Taxi
"What, are you crazy?"
Taxi
"It never occurred to him to just drop it."
Taxi
"Hi, guys."
Taxi
"Hi, Elaine. Hey, Elaine."
Taxi
"How you doing? How you doing?"
Taxi
"Elaine?"
Taxi
"Elaine?"
Taxi
"Elaine?"
Taxi
"Yeah?"
Taxi
"Oh, Elaine..."
Taxi
"Oh, Elaine..."
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"Oh..."
Taxi
"That's the sweetest thing anybody ever said to me."
Taxi
"I think."
Taxi
"Hey, you want to tell me what's going on here?"
Taxi
"Well, Elaine..."
Taxi
"you were just proposed to."
Taxi
"Aw..."
Taxi
"No, really. They won't send Latka out of the country"
Taxi
"if he marries an American citizen."
Taxi
"Yeah, Elaine, what do you think?"
Taxi
"Are you guys serious? Ooh!"
Taxi
"Hey, come on, we know how you feel, but look at it this way--"
Taxi
"it wouldn't have to be like a real marriage."
Taxi
"Just a paper marriage."
Taxi
"Right."
Taxi
"You could get divorced soon after. Right."
Taxi
"I mean, you don't have to sleep with him"
Taxi
"or anything like that. Who asked you?"
Taxi
"Latka, believe me, I am very, very flattered,"
Taxi
"but I'm sorry."
Taxi
"I can't marry you."
Taxi
"Please?"
Taxi
"I'm sorry."
Taxi
"Please, please?"
Taxi
"N-o."
Taxi
"Oh, boy, we will be so happy."
Taxi
"No. N-o spells "no.""
Taxi
"Aw, shup."
Taxi
"Hey, everybody!"
Taxi
"I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine,"
Taxi
"Vivian Harrow."
Taxi
"Vivian has agreed to marry Latka."
Taxi
"JOHN: Hey, that's great!"
Taxi
"This one..."
Taxi
"I found her..."
Taxi
"Alex! What?"
Taxi
"You can't let Latka just marry this hooker."
Taxi
"She's not a hooker. She's a call girl."
Taxi
"Look, I don't like it, either, but it might be our only hope."
Taxi
"Look, it's temporary."
Taxi
"What day is good for you, Vivian?"
Taxi
"Well, I got part of Thursday afternoon open."
Taxi
"Okay, Thursday it is. Thursday."
Taxi
"Okay, Thursday."
Taxi
"Okay, but remember."
Taxi
"You said 15 minutes, I'm gone"
Taxi
"I never have to see the guy again"
Taxi
"and no strings attached."
Taxi
"Right. No strings. Come here. Latka?"
Taxi
"I want you to meet Vivian."
Taxi
"She's agreed to be your bride."
Taxi
"How do you do?"
Taxi
"I love you."
Taxi
"Latka, talk to me."
Taxi
"Latka?"
Taxi
"Latka, I'll make you talk to me."
Taxi
"Latka, Latka... Latka! Latka! Latka!"
Taxi
"Louie! Louie! Louie, Louie! Louie..."
Taxi
"Latka, Latka... Louie, Louie!"
Taxi
"Louie, pull yourself together."
Taxi
"I don't understand why he won't forgive me."
Taxi
"All I did was turn him in."
Taxi
"Hey, Latka, the big day, huh?"
Taxi
"Hey, John, you're a married man."
Taxi
"Why don't you give Latka some tips?"
Taxi
"Yeah, yeah..."
Taxi
"Well, uh... Latka,"
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"But it's not absolutely necessary."
Taxi
"( chuckles )"
Taxi
"Hey, this is going to be a weird wedding."
Taxi
"The line to kiss the bride could take a while."
Taxi
"I hear they asked the vice squad to give the bride away."
Taxi
"Would you guys just cut it out?"
Taxi
"I mean just kindly cut it out."
Taxi
"I mean, we could try"
Taxi
"to treat this like a wedding, couldn't we?"
Taxi
"You know, instead of all these locker room jokes,"
Taxi
"I think we should consider Latka's feelings."
Taxi
"It's not a joke to him."
Taxi
"I love her."
Taxi
"ELAINE: See?"
Taxi
"So I don't know about the rest of you,"
Taxi
"but believe me, I'm going to try to do the most I can"
Taxi
"to make this the best wedding two kids have ever had."
Taxi
"She's real interesting, this one."
Taxi
"Hi, Latka."
Taxi
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