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Clips from Taxi - Paper Marriage (S01E01)

"Excuse me."
Taxi
"Hey! They're coming."
Taxi
"You swine!"
Taxi
"To marry."
Taxi
"Got any ideas?"
Taxi
"Hey, I knew you'd get away, buddy!"
Taxi
"How did you like that?"
Taxi
"Kind of wonderful, isn't it?"
Taxi
"I'll keep saying your name until you talk to me."
Taxi
"Latka! Latka! Latka! Latka..."
Taxi
"I think the most important thing in any marriage is communication."
Taxi
"Hey, there's a minister"
Taxi
""How..."
Taxi
"( murmuring )"
Taxi
"Good, good."
Taxi
"but you are a minister, aren't you?"
Taxi
"Now, does anybody have a drink around here?"
Taxi
"we'd like the ceremony to be just as brief as possible, okay?"
Taxi
"My mother paid good money for these lessons,"
Taxi
"trying to translate what he wanted to say to you."
Taxi
"Latka, La... Do you have your papers?"
Taxi
"Papers?"
Taxi
"Papers."
Taxi
"Zigzags?"
Taxi
"No."
Taxi
"You know, Latka, you're in real trouble."
Taxi
"Hey, hey, hey, what's the big deal?"
Taxi
"The worst thing that can happen"
Taxi
"is they send you back where you came from."
Taxi
"You ever see any of the letters Latka gets from his homeland?"
Taxi
"They have postage stamps that honor barbed wire."
Taxi
"Okay, you bozos."
Taxi
"I cleaned all your filthy graffiti"
Taxi
"off the walls of the can."
Taxi
"And I want you to know"
Taxi
"what you wrote about me in there was disgusting."
Taxi
"Some of it ain't even true."
Taxi
"You should see"
Taxi
"what's written about you"
Taxi
"on the walls of the ladies' room."
Taxi
"I know what it says in there."
Taxi
"I wrote it."
Taxi
"Hey, Louie, Louie, a couple of guys..."
Taxi
"a couple of guys came in here looking for Latka."
Taxi
"They said they're going to come back and talk to you."
Taxi
"What do they want Latka for?"
Taxi
"They want to arrest him as an illegal alien."
Taxi
"So, why didn't you just give him to them?"
Taxi
"Do I have to do everything around here?"
Taxi
"What?"
Taxi
"Louie, we've got to help Latka."
Taxi
"This is very serious."
Taxi
"Serious? What's serious? ALEX: Hey, Louie!"
Taxi
"You're not going to turn him in, are you?"
Taxi
"Well, I ain't lying to no feds."
Taxi
"I can't do it."
Taxi
"I won't do it."
Taxi
"You can get into too much trouble doing that."
Taxi
"Those guys scare me."
Taxi
"Louie, this is Latka's life we're talking about here."
Taxi
"If we don't help the guy,"
Taxi
"we may lose him."
Taxi
"So?"
Taxi
"Oh, come on, Louie."
Taxi
"I don't want to embarrass you,"
Taxi
"but if it's anybody you sort of love, it's Latka."
Taxi
"Hey, John, it's not going to work."
Taxi
"You're laying it on a little thick."
Taxi
"No, he's not."
Taxi
"Latka's the poodle I never had."
Taxi
"Bring on those cops!"
Taxi
"Hey! ( cheering )"
Taxi
"ALEX: Get Latka outside."
Taxi
"Come on, Latka. Under the cab."
Taxi
"Pretend like..."
Taxi
"All right, all right."
Taxi
"Just be normal. Just be normal."
Taxi
"JOHN: I don't think this is a full deck."
Taxi
"BOBBY: Doesn't make any difference. They'll never know."
Taxi
"They'll never know. Officer!"
Taxi
"What are you doing?"
Taxi
"They like to be called officers."
Taxi
"Did Mr. De Palma come back?"
Taxi
"Ah, yes, sir. Right there."
Taxi
"Are you Louie De Palma?"
Taxi
"Yes, I am."
Taxi
"We're investigators from the Department"
Taxi
"of Immigration and Naturalization."
Taxi
"He's under that cab."
Taxi
"Louie!"
Taxi
"( shouting )"
Taxi
"Mr. Gravas?"
Taxi
"Come out, please."
Taxi
"WOMAN: Taxi!"
Taxi
"Fifth Avenue and..."
Taxi
"( screaming )"
Taxi
"I don't know that intersection."
Taxi
"( door slams )"
Taxi
"Hello. Oh, hi, Latka."
Taxi
"We've been looking all over town for you."
Taxi
"Have you been back there the whole time?"
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"Latka, now listen to me good,"
Taxi
"because I've been thinking about this."
Taxi
"I think you're just making things worse by running."
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"Who told you that?"
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"No, I think it's best that you turn yourself in."
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"Well, we'll try to find a good lawyer"
Taxi
"for you that can help."
Taxi
"( speaking native language )"
Taxi
"I know, I wish there was some other way,"
Taxi
"Well, Latka need..."
Taxi
""Woman.""
Taxi
"Yeah, sure, that'll take your mind off"
Taxi
"your troubles for a while, but, uh..."
Taxi
"No, no. Latka need woman to..."
Taxi
"eh..."
Taxi
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