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Clips from The Jerk (1979)

"I've been trying to contact her. I don't know where she is."
The Jerk (1979)
"I'd give anything to find out."
The Jerk (1979)
"That sounds a little high."
The Jerk (1979)
"How about $75?"
The Jerk (1979)
"Okay. What is it?"
The Jerk (1979)
"The May Company in Los Angeles."
The Jerk (1979)
"I know where she is!"
The Jerk (1979)
"Doesn't that feel good?"
The Jerk (1979)
"Mmm-hmm."
The Jerk (1979)
"There. Now, we are complete."
The Jerk (1979)
"and when we peel it off, he will look 20 years younger."
The Jerk (1979)
"Allevei."
The Jerk (1979)
"Yes, exactly."
The Jerk (1979)
"an eye shadow and lip tint for him."
The Jerk (1979)
"Now everyone just follow me this way"
The Jerk (1979)
"because this is a very interesting line."
The Jerk (1979)
"I think you'll enjoy this."
The Jerk (1979)
"a deep tone would bring out his lips."
The Jerk (1979)
"And this Nature Beige will feature his eyes just wonderfully."
The Jerk (1979)
"Let's try everything."
The Jerk (1979)
"Let's go unmask Irving."
The Jerk (1979)
"Everyone, back this way."
The Jerk (1979)
"We are now going to peel off our Mask-O Derm."
The Jerk (1979)
"and he'll look like a different man."
The Jerk (1979)
"You'll be amazed."
The Jerk (1979)
"Get ready, Irving."
The Jerk (1979)
"Jeez! This shit really worked."
The Jerk (1979)
"Navin."
The Jerk (1979)
"Irving, are you crazy?"
The Jerk (1979)
""Dear Mom."
The Jerk (1979)
""The big news is, Marie and I were married."
The Jerk (1979)
""Luckily, we found someone at the Hollywood View Apartments,"
The Jerk (1979)
""He was a certified priest."
The Jerk (1979)
""We were both glad we had a religious wedding."
The Jerk (1979)
""Money hasn't changed our lives that much."
The Jerk (1979)
"a live-in butler and housekeeper.""
The Jerk (1979)
"Just as I thought. Look at that."
The Jerk (1979)
"Sir, it would seem with this kind of income, you could buy a larger house"
The Jerk (1979)
"with proper servants' quarters."
The Jerk (1979)
""Mom, remember my dream of owning"
The Jerk (1979)
""with a plaster lion in it from Mexico?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And how I always wanted a large 24-seat dining table?"
The Jerk (1979)
""In a dining room with original oil paintings"
The Jerk (1979)
""by Michelangelo and Rembrandt?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And remember how I always wanted a rotating bed"
The Jerk (1979)
""with pink chiffon and zebra stripes?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And remember how I used to chitchat with Dad"
The Jerk (1979)
""about always wanting a bathtub shaped like a clam?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And an office with orange and white stripes?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And remember how much I wanted"
The Jerk (1979)
""an all-red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And how I wanted a disco room with my own disco dancers?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And a party room with fancy friends?"
The Jerk (1979)
""And remember how much I wanted"
The Jerk (1979)
""a big back yard with Grecian statues"
The Jerk (1979)
""Well, I got that, too."
The Jerk (1979)
""But I've got a lot to learn about handling my money and banks."
The Jerk (1979)
""His dear wife Hester took some money"
The Jerk (1979)
""out of her savings account and had to pay a substantial penalty"
The Jerk (1979)
""for early withdrawal."
The Jerk (1979)
"Enclosed is this week's check. Love, Navin.""
The Jerk (1979)
"Your wife has given you"
The Jerk (1979)
"another gold chain."
The Jerk (1979)
"I'd nearly forgotten."
The Jerk (1979)
"Well, these things take time."
The Jerk (1979)
"So I'm told. Oh, here's your drink, sir."
The Jerk (1979)
"You got the bamboo umbrella and everything."
The Jerk (1979)
"See that? Be somebody."
The Jerk (1979)
"there are some charity people here to see you, sir."
The Jerk (1979)
"No! Send them away!"
The Jerk (1979)
"Ah, but these people want you to give."
The Jerk (1979)
"Okay."
The Jerk (1979)
"Father, you seem like a religious man."
The Jerk (1979)
"How can I help you?"
The Jerk (1979)
"By giving me three minutes of your time"
The Jerk (1979)
"so that you can see some film"
The Jerk (1979)
"of a great ugliness that is spreading in my country."
The Jerk (1979)
"Oh, God. I'll bet it's disgusting."
The Jerk (1979)
"Hobart?"
The Jerk (1979)
"Well, one can't mourn forever."
The Jerk (1979)
"You will not believe what you are about to see."
The Jerk (1979)
"That human beings could have sunk so low"
The Jerk (1979)
"to another of God's creatures."
The Jerk (1979)
"Roll the ugliness."
The Jerk (1979)
"Good Lord."
The Jerk (1979)
"I've heard about this cat juggling."
The Jerk (1979)
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
The Jerk (1979)
"Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?"
The Jerk (1979)
"If your initial investment is $500,000,"
The Jerk (1979)
"and your apartments are up in March,"
The Jerk (1979)
"you should have "X" amount of dollars"
The Jerk (1979)
"rolling in by the end of this year."
The Jerk (1979)
"Ah! "X" amount. That's very good, isn't it?"
The Jerk (1979)
"Not only that, you can depreciate"
The Jerk (1979)
"Depreciate? Very good. Hmm. I like that."
The Jerk (1979)
"We found a way to get around this Fair Housing crap."
The Jerk (1979)
"Ah! Good. Getting around the crap. That's good."
The Jerk (1979)
"By keeping the rents high, we're going to appeal to a select class of people."
The Jerk (1979)
"Select class. Very, very good."
The Jerk (1979)
"We'll keep the eggplants out."
The Jerk (1979)
"Ah, good. We don't want any vegetables."
The Jerk (1979)
"No, no. The jungle bunnies."
The Jerk (1979)
"The niggers. We'll keep 'em out."
The Jerk (1979)
"Don't be so hard on yourself."
The Jerk (1979)
"Your escargots. Salad."
The Jerk (1979)
"Ah, yes, but no more 1966. Let's splurge."
The Jerk (1979)
"Bring us some fresh wine."
The Jerk (1979)
"This year's. No more of this old stuff."
The Jerk (1979)
"Oui, monsieur."
The Jerk (1979)
"He doesn't realize he's dealing with sophisticated people here."
The Jerk (1979)
"Marie, now just stay calm. Stay calm."
The Jerk (1979)
"Just don't look down."
The Jerk (1979)
"There are snails on her plate."
The Jerk (1979)
"Now get them out of here before she sees them."
The Jerk (1979)
"Look away! Just look away! And keep your eyes that way!"
The Jerk (1979)
"You'd think at a fancy restaurant like this, at these prices,"
The Jerk (1979)
"you would be able to keep the snails off the food!"
The Jerk (1979)
"Now take them away and bring me"
The Jerk (1979)
"those melted cheese sandwich appetizers you talked me out of!"
The Jerk (1979)
"Oui, monsieur."
The Jerk (1979)
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