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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - Mel's Offer (S04E04)

"Pasta, if you like, uh, very good."
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"I'll just have the..."
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"I'll just have the first thing."
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"They should write the thing down. I don't know what he's talking about."
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"in a few months?"
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"Boy, they just flew right by, didn't they?"
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"So, listen, I know what I want."
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"Okay."
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"- Friends, family that kind of thing. - Right."
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"- You thought it was gonna be a fight. - Yeah yeah."
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"I feel like we're married already."
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"And..."
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"Well, that's what I say."
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"Which friends think you're crazy?"
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"I just think that we should be a family, you know?"
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"We should share the same last name. I want to be Cheryl David."
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"But if you don't have to be a David, why be a David?"
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"How about if we get married now... like, right now..."
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"What?!"
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"then let's just do that."
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"Come on, you're not gonna let me do that."
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"Wow, you have a good memory."
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"For some things."
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"All right, well, all right."
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"- I'm insisting on it. - You want to keep your word."
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"I really don't."
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"That's why I think you, um..."
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"- it's okay with you? - Hmm-mm."
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"You have until our anniversary and that's it."
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"Good luck."
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"Why do you want to skip karaoke?"
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"that's their dream that their wife says, "Yeah, go ahead.""
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"- Damn it, man, do it! - She was laughing at me."
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"Just go. Yeah, go make a move. Show me. Just practice."
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"#... Hey, now you're here #"
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"I don't know if you bowl. I don't go that often,"
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"It takes up a lot of space in the house."
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"How do you get rid of a bowling ball? Think about that."
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"I'm around town."
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"#... Then you changed my lonely life... #"
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"#... That lucky day #"
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"# That lucky day. #"
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"Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much."
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"Come on, everybody. Put it together! Mel Brooks."
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"- Come up and give us a song? - Oh come on."
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"All right."
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"He's one of my idols, you know?"
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"- What the hell are you doing? - What the fuck are you doing?"
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"While you're talking on a cell phone?"
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"Hey,"
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"Wow, there's money in here."
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"A guy in a wheelchair cut right in front of my car in the parking lot."
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"Yeah, well, he's in a... he's in a wheelchair."
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"- even for people in electric chairs. - Hmm-mm."
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"Uh, actually we do."
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"Then you got the whole Ang family."
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"'cause it's like China but it's... it's not China."
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"I don't think that would go over too well with the schoolkids."
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"You know what? I'm gonna run to the bathroom."
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"Oh my God, what..."
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"Oh my God!"
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"Just sign in and the doctor will be with you in a minute."
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"Yes. Yeah."
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"I'm bored to death in here."
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"Yeah, about America's fattest cities."
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"All right, I'll talk to you later."
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"Sorry. It was a local call."
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"It doesn't matter whether it was a local or a long distance call."
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"Why couldn't I use it?"
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"The history of how we arrived at that"
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"It's not hurting anybody."
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"We just have a rule. You don't use the doctor's phone."
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"I don't understand why you have to know the reason."
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"You know, it's hard to make a rule"
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"that takes in all the contingencies."
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"So we just have a rule. Don't use the phone."
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"- Yeah, Mel Brooks, huh? - Yeah."
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"I like Mel Brooks. I'm a big fan. Lay down, will you?"
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"Oh, okay."
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"Again I'm sorry about the... the phone stuff."
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"Oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it."
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"Yeah, it just seems like an odd policy to me, though."
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"- You don't use the phone. - The rule doesn't make any sense."
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"Nothing more, I would say, than a little prick."
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"Yeah, there's definitely a prick involved."
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"Uh, yes, there is a prick involved."
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"Yeah, I'd say there is one prick involved."
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"I agree. I'm not a doctor, but I agree there is one prick."
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"Yep."
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"And the more I look at this, I think this is pretty minor."
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"So have you thought about anybody for the 10th anniversary present?"
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"I'm gonna take my time"
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"Hmm, fatso... Yeah, fatso."
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"Oh, hey."
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"- Wait. You're the guy from the car. - Yeah."
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"Yeah right, right. I gave it to her."
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"She said she found the wallet, gave it to me and I gave her 100 bucks."
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"Hello."
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"Yeah. You need a good fuckin' ass kicking."
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"- Well, you're here. You came. - Yes."
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"And I guess you're wondering"
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"And when you sang, I was absolutely floored."
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"And bang bang,"
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"the guy playing Max Bialystock"
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"the leading character in "The Producers.""
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"I want you, Larry David,"
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"to be the next Max Bialystock on Broadway."
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"- Were you great? - Well, Mel, I mean, you know..."
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"And Andreas used to say to me..."
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"I said, "Andreas, you can't start a sentence with 'or."'"
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"I got a great idea."
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"Let it get into your pores, let it get into your system."
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"- It sounds like a joke. - No joke here."
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"You were born to do it."
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"- You're gonna do it. It's gonna happen. - He's going to do it."
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"I did all the plays in high school. I swear to God."
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"They gave me the lead, every one."
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"Are your M4 and M5? Are those your house seats?"
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"Giant fuckin' mistake if I say so right to your face."
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"- Okay, Zero Mostel... - Yeah, I know."
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