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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.4 (S02E02)

"whip his ass... whip his ass."
Chappelle's Show
"Don't you think Charlie's a little old"
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"to be taking karate?"
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"He probably takin' it with the little kids."
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"Yeah, Charlie whipped my ass in his dreams."
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"I told you, Charlie had delusions of grandeur."
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"I'm telling you what was happening."
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"I'm Rick James, bitch."
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"because the whole episode's gonna be just like this."
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"We'll be right back with more Chappelle show."
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"I'm going to the Dave Chappelle show."
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"How's this?"
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"but if you missed the first act,"
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"Charlie and Rick James are in the midst of a conflict."
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"Let's see how the ongoing"
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"Charlie and Rick James feud develops."
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"The Studio 54 thing,"
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"that blew over, you know what I'm saying?"
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"But then, you know, here we go again."
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"Cocaine is a hell of a drug."
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"(chuckles)"
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"You know, he shows up at my brother's house, fucked up."
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"Nice place, nigga."
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"(Charlie) So, he had these dirty cowboy boots on."
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"Pushing us out of the way, barged in the house."
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"My brother had these brand new couches."
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"They were suede, right?"
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"And he gets on the couch and says:"
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"Why don't I stretch out?"
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"Heh, heh, heh..."
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"and just started grinding mud all into the couch, man."
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"into Eddie's couch."
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"(man) You remember why you did it?"
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"Because Eddie could buy another one."
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"Fuck your couch, nigga."
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"Fuck yo' couch, nigga!"
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"Fuck yo' couch!"
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"Darknesses, Darknesses..."
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"'cause of my complexion he used to call me "Darkness.""
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"He calls me and my brother "Darkness.""
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"He always says, "Darkness Brothers.""
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"See, this is long before Wesley Snipes."
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"Back then, we was the blackest niggas on the planet"
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"according to Rick James."
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"Both of them were Brother Darkness."
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"And we standing there, looking at him"
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"and he's looking right in our eyes as he grinds his mud..."
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"Come on, I mean, what am I gonna do?"
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"Just, all of a sudden,"
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"just jump up and grind my feet on somebody's couch"
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"like it's something to do?"
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"Yeah, I remember grinding my feet on Eddie's couch."
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"See, I never just did things just to do them."
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"Come on, I mean, what am I gonna do?"
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"Just, all of a sudden,"
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"just jump up and grind my feet on somebody's couch"
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"Yeah, I remember grinding my feet on Eddie's couch."
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"But then it was like,"
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""you know what? Let's handle this.""
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"We went over there..."
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"Hey, Charlie Murphy!"
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"And we held him down,"
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"Aah, you Darkness..."
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"you black, midnight evil motherfucker!"
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"Black magic, Darkness!"
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"You're all Darkness!"
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"You're fuckin'... delirious motherfucker..."
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"You are cold as ice."
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"But, still, Rick James,"
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"even after taking a beating like that..."
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"Fuck yo couch, nigga."
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"His legs is like, like, linguine."
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"I've been kicked out of better homes than this!"
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"I'll be back, you black motherfuckers!"
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"Wide-nose-havin' motherfuckers!"
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"They shoulda never gave you niggas money!"
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"You know you can get another couch!"
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"My brother, you know,"
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"He's looking and the limo's drivin' off and he said,"
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""wow, man... Rick really needs help.""
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"And I was, like,"
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""yo, we just gave him some help."
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""Bust his fuckin' ass and shit."
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""I bet you he won't come over here"
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"and disrespect like that again.""
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"Wrong... wrong!"
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"We're talkin' about Rick James, man."
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"Cocaine's a hell of a drug."
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"I'm Rick James, bitch."
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"With more of Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Better not bring your kids!"
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"All right..."
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"and now, ladies and gentlemen."
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"of Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories."
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"I had to fuck him up at 54."
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"I had to go to his hotel and kick the shit out of him."
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"and I had to whip his legs"
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"because of what he did on the couch."
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"I heard him tell a story"
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"that he came into the China Club one time"
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"and I was behind the bar."
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"(Charlie) This particular night,"
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"I go over to the China Club."
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"And, um, I walk in and I'll never forget"
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"the first thing I seen was O.J. Simpson."
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"I remember thinking to myself,"
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""wow, that's O.J. Simpson!"
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"He has a big fuckin' head, man.""
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"and there's Rick behind the bar."
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"Drink up!"
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"Be merry!"
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"Welcome, to the China Club."
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"A China chung-chang"
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"Rick's, you know, being Rick."
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"Come on, baby, show me your titties"
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"I'm Rick James, do something!"
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"I wish I had more hands."
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"So I could give those titties"
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