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Clips from The Odd Couple - Secret Agent Man (S01E01)

"Some idiot running around in a moth-eaten suit."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, let's not pick on mascots. Some call them"
The Odd Couple
"the hardest working people in sports."
The Odd Couple
"Okay, so if you're not gonna take my advice,"
The Odd Couple
"then I guess you don't need me anymore."
The Odd Couple
"I know this did not work out as planned."
The Odd Couple
"But I promise you..."
The Odd Couple
"Wow, that clip of Oscar bleeding just keeps trending."
The Odd Couple
"Aw, that little guy's having such a good time."
The Odd Couple
"Oscar, I am so sorry."
The Odd Couple
"- Have you spoken to Teddy? - Nope."
The Odd Couple
"- Do you think that maybe...? - Nope."
The Odd Couple
"to tonight's Knicks game if you want to go with me."
The Odd Couple
"A couple of fellows"
The Odd Couple
"cheering on the Knickerbockers."
The Odd Couple
"I'll just drink a lot."
The Odd Couple
"Did you hear that? Very disturbing."
The Odd Couple
"I know. You call them the Knickerbockers tonight,"
The Odd Couple
"you can get stabbed dead in the men's room."
The Odd Couple
"I have never seen them this mad."
The Odd Couple
"in the foundation of the friendship,"
The Odd Couple
"No, no, no. No, no."
The Odd Couple
"No. No nudge."
The Odd Couple
"Your meddling is what got them into this."
The Odd Couple
"Exactly!"
The Odd Couple
"And only more meddling can get them out!"
The Odd Couple
"I'm just gonna drink a lot."
The Odd Couple
"Well, here I am."
The Odd Couple
"Yes, you are."
The Odd Couple
"I guess."
The Odd Couple
"Is that the way you start an apology?"
The Odd Couple
""Apology"? What are you talking about?"
The Odd Couple
"I got your text."
The Odd Couple
"I didn't send you a text."
The Odd Couple
"I did."
The Odd Couple
"It was I."
The Odd Couple
"a mascot brought"
The Odd Couple
"two good friends together."
The Odd Couple
"And so it shall be again."
The Odd Couple
"What's that?!"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, my good God!"
The Odd Couple
"I thought it would be weird to wear the whole thing."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, that would've been silly."
The Odd Couple
"A kid with no friends?"
The Odd Couple
"A failed gymnast?"
The Odd Couple
"A virgin?"
The Odd Couple
"That's right... a hero."
The Odd Couple
"Who lifts spirits and brings"
The Odd Couple
"people together in times of crisis."
The Odd Couple
"When it's the fourth quarter,"
The Odd Couple
"and you're down ten sports points."
The Odd Couple
"This is why mascots don't speak."
The Odd Couple
"your friendship is losing in the fourth quarter."
The Odd Couple
"There are issues that you need to work on."
The Odd Couple
"But I know that you can get through it,"
The Odd Couple
"if you treat each other with a little..."
The Odd Couple
"C! O!"
The Odd Couple
"What are you trying to spell?"
The Odd Couple
"Compassion and understanding!"
The Odd Couple
"A! S!"
The Odd Couple
"Hey! Hey! Not cool!"
The Odd Couple
"Can you believe this guy?"
The Odd Couple
"Yeah. Well, that's"
The Odd Couple
"Well, if I had been straight with you"
The Odd Couple
"maybe you would've listened to me."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, guys? I-I can't get the head off!"
The Odd Couple
"It's stuck!"
The Odd Couple
"And a good friend."
The Odd Couple
"I just wanted what was best for you."
The Odd Couple
"in the world thanks to you."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, guys? I can't see anything and I'm starting to panic!"
The Odd Couple
"Come on, little birdy. Come on."
The Odd Couple
"That's it."
The Odd Couple
"I've got a lot of mascot experience."
The Odd Couple
"How long was I in the locker?"
The Odd Couple
"Are we still winning?"
The Odd Couple
"And we're out of time."
The Odd Couple
"I want to thank my guests Rich Eisen"
The Odd Couple
"and Kenny Smith for doing my show."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, I owe you. That, uh, gaping chest wound of yours"
The Odd Couple
"No."
The Odd Couple
"Thanks for listening to The Oscar Madison Show."
The Odd Couple
"Well, we may not have a big TV budget,"
The Odd Couple
"but it does have its advantages."
The Odd Couple
"Oh... so he still has half a sub left?"
The Odd Couple
"You're on the air in three minutes."
The Odd Couple
"One!"
The Odd Couple
"So I just happened to mention"
The Odd Couple
"Wow, that sounds so cool."
The Odd Couple
"- Why? - Yes, why?"
The Odd Couple
"Look, I'm just saying,"
The Odd Couple
"He tried that guest panel thing years ago."
The Odd Couple
"- And? - He was great."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, I was doing a radio interview"
The Odd Couple
"I can."
The Odd Couple
"that you and Teddy are so happy together."
The Odd Couple
"I feel like you have the chance"
The Odd Couple
"I do."
The Odd Couple
"Okay, 75 minutes until Oscar is on the air."
The Odd Couple
"Emily, you're in charge of all unwanted hair."
The Odd Couple
"Wow, those cameras are closer than I thought they'd be."
The Odd Couple
"Okay, FYI, I am an accomplished photographer,"
The Odd Couple
"Wearing a tie tack that I made."
The Odd Couple
"With me, as always, is Kenny Smith."
The Odd Couple
"- Really? - No!"
The Odd Couple
"Oscar's not gonna be able to do his job"
The Odd Couple
"if he loses his confidence."
The Odd Couple
"taking too many steps to the basket."
The Odd Couple
"For all his frequent... traveling."
The Odd Couple
"Are you calling a paralyzed person a broken pie?"
The Odd Couple
"Is that your tie tack?"
The Odd Couple
"What? That I told you not to do this?"
The Odd Couple
"Have fun humiliating yourself!"
The Odd Couple
"He just passed the video of the Shar Pei on the trampoline."
The Odd Couple
"What are you guys watching?"
The Odd Couple
"Porn."
The Odd Couple
"You need to stay out of this."
The Odd Couple
"And a little nudge from their friend Felix."
The Odd Couple
"20 years ago,"
The Odd Couple
"Oscar, Teddy,"
The Odd Couple
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