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Clips from The Odd Couple - Secret Agent Man (S01E01)

"Where's Oscar?"
The Odd Couple
"He's still asleep and the show starts in four minutes."
The Odd Couple
"Won it in double overtime."
The Odd Couple
"Then we went double overtime at the bar."
The Odd Couple
"I already tried to wake him,"
The Odd Couple
"Agent's work is never done."
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"Rise and shine, champ!"
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"Sleeping in your clothes."
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"Just like a Navy SEAL."
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"Okay, let's set you up right here."
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"Coffee."
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"Another donut."
The Odd Couple
"On the air"
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"in three, two..."
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"Good morning, friends and enemies."
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"The Knicks won last night and the Celtics lost,"
The Odd Couple
"so all is right in the world."
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"Morning, Paulie."
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"You suck, Madison."
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"And your Knicks got lucky last night."
The Odd Couple
"Well, you know who else got lucky last night?"
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"But such is the charmed life"
The Odd Couple
"of a Knicks fan."
The Odd Couple
"How'd you spend your night, Paulie?"
The Odd Couple
"Crying into your Larry Bird body pillow?"
The Odd Couple
"But I would have been there on time."
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"Please, I saved your ass."
The Odd Couple
"Just like I did last night at the bar"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, God. Did I at least win?"
The Odd Couple
"A 2:00 a.m. dance-off?"
The Odd Couple
"Oscar. You'll never guess what happened."
The Odd Couple
"You bought new tea towels?"
The Odd Couple
"They added a fourth tenor?"
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"I hate that I know this stuff."
The Odd Couple
"for a big TV exec"
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"and I overheard him talking"
The Odd Couple
"about a sports talk show called The First String."
The Odd Couple
"With Rich Eisen? I love that show."
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"that my roommate is the famous Oscar Madison."
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"as to what I meant by "roommate"..."
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"Listen to me."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, thank you, Felix. But, uh, we're gonna pass."
The Odd Couple
"I will answer you and not you."
The Odd Couple
"You already have a great job."
The Odd Couple
"You host a national radio show from your apartment."
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"If you want, you could do it naked,"
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"or eating a pizza,"
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"If you play your cards right,"
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"Radio's your home."
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"But he could have two homes."
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"Television could be the giant RV"
The Odd Couple
"he drives around the country."
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"Felix, I'm Oscar's agent."
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"And I am his platonic roommate."
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"how could it possibly hurt to try?"
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"We already have."
The Odd Couple
"But it was a pain in the ass, remember?"
The Odd Couple
"You had to wait around, wear makeup,"
The Odd Couple
"they didn't give you your donuts..."
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"They ended up hiring that pretty boy athlete."
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"Instead of the pretty boy radio host."
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"Stupid Michael Strahan."
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"Well, you've never steered me wrong before."
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"My man."
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"- Well, I just think... - And I appreciate your thoughts."
The Odd Couple
"I have guided Oscar's career"
The Odd Couple
"Now if you'll excuse me,"
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"I'm late for a meeting"
The Odd Couple
"than I feel is professional."
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"So you and Teddy have been together for 20 years?"
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, I was his first client."
The Odd Couple
"Well, first human."
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"Before me, he represented mascots."
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"with one of his clients,"
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"You in a bird suit, stuffed in a locker,"
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"Did I tell you that story?"
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"Well, I am just glad to see"
The Odd Couple
"It's always nice to be comfortable."
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"Felix, you're doing that thing"
The Odd Couple
"where you say stuff in a cheerful tone,"
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"but I end up not being able to keep"
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"It's just such a fun piece"
The Odd Couple
"and it looks fantastic in the back hallway."
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"and Teddy just dismisses it."
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"Well, Teddy knows what he's doing."
The Odd Couple
"Yes, but ultimately he works for you."
The Odd Couple
"And wouldn't you like to try something new?"
The Odd Couple
"Yes, but I'm already transitioning"
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"from boxers to boxer-briefs."
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"My plate is full."
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"Oscar,"
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"I hate to see you squander your talent"
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"Okay. You're right."
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"I'll call Teddy and let him know."
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"Ah, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh."
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"What if you just did it and let him see how wonderful you are?"
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"You're right. I am wonderful."
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"Huzzah!"
The Odd Couple
"Felix Unger wants a fist bump?"
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"Here, let me show you how it's done."
The Odd Couple
"Ah!"
The Odd Couple
"Thank you for your help."
The Odd Couple
"into a real office."
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"My mom wants to visit me at my job,"
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"seems a little sketchy."
The Odd Couple
"Ladies, ladies, please."
The Odd Couple
"I told my tailor to give him the Unger Cut."
The Odd Couple
"But Guillermo has truly outdone himself."
The Odd Couple
"Could we not gather around my inseam?"
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"Oh. You're right, time is wasting."
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"Great. I will start with those eyebrows."
The Odd Couple
"Ow!"
The Odd Couple
"Oscar, I've been working on some catchphrases."
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""That's how it's done on Madison Avenue.""
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"Uh-huh. 'Cause your last name's Madison, we get it."
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"But for TV, we need to freshen it up."
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""Holy moly Stromboli!""
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""Oh, yes, I did go there.""
The Odd Couple
"You know, I'm going to keep that one for myself."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, darn."
The Odd Couple
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