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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Netwerking at the Nursing Home (S01E01)

"Um, I see you're back on the Internet."
Haters Back Off!
"Yeah, it's only fair to my fans. I have to follow my heart."
Haters Back Off!
"Okay, well, I watched your video and it kind of gave me an idea..."
Haters Back Off!
"You're not gonna be in it, Emily. Sorry."
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"Who's Aunty Moira?"
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"Are you serious? She's, like, our favorite aunt."
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"Oh, I'm pretty sure she's dead."
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"No, she's not dead. I saw her yesterday."
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"She was very much alive."
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"Yeah, definitely dead."
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"Are you sure she wasn't dead?"
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"And I was just thinking, hoping, that you would come and sing,"
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"and something might spark for her memory."
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"[groans] I don't want to."
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"Oh, good thinking, Manager."
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"Well, I would say a gig that pays nothing is something we should pass on."
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"Yeah, I definitely agree with that."
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"No, it's not a gig. It's just a good deed for a sick person."
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"Emily, my... my little nugget."
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"I see how painful this is for you, and believe me, I know pain."
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"So, clearly, you need to stop going to the nursing home."
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"[chuckles] I mean, if something's depressing, don't do it!"
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"Yeah! Just don't do it. Don't go!"
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"[Jim] Does that..."
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"Does that make sense, Emily?"
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"You know, it just occurred to me that Emily brought up an important point."
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"You should visit older family members because some day they won't be around."
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"And you don't wanna wake up one morning and realize that you..."
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"never got the chance..."
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"to get all their stuff."
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"[sighs] That's a good point."
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"Emily doesn't even care about stuff."
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"- [sighs] - [bicycle bell ringing]"
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"[ringing continues]"
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"What? You're charging me?"
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"Sorry. [groans]"
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"I didn't get much sleep last night."
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"[Miranda] Oh, yeah."
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"A lot happened after that."
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"It was a crazy night. [chuckles]"
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"Too much! God, I wish you could just be supportive of me, Patrick."
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"[door closes]"
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"[register beeps]"
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"- [chuckling] - Keith, hi."
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"Wow, Bethany! I didn't know you worked here."
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"God, you're a captivating woman."
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"Thank you. [chuckles]"
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"Do you have your loyalty card?"
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"I don't need a card to prove my loyalty."
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"'Cause I can't give you the discount without it."
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"- 'Cause it's against the law. - [chuckles] Yeah."
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"Um, that's $9.95. [clears throat]"
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"would you like a coupon for burn cream?"
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"Ooh, I think I'm predicting a fire accident in my future."
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"And then you can use the burn cream... for your fire accident, okay."
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"Right. Right, you get it. Right. Get it?"
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"You know, Bethany..."
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"I've been recently promoted to executive director of church operations."
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"- Oh. - All of which is to say..."
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"I think we should go out sometime, you and me."
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"Oh, my gosh."
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"Miranda says I'm not allowed to date anymore, you know."
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"She said it would be gross. So..."
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"Oh, well,"
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"we'll see about that."
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"- Bye. - [Keith] Bye."
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"Have a good day."
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"Um, you know, this brand is very stingy."
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"Hi, Carla. How's Aunty Moira doing?"
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"Oh, I'm sorry, Emily. Same."
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"Smells like the inside of a leg cast. Can you make that stop?"
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"[Emily] I'm sorry. She's with me."
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"Miranda, please."
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"Miranda, don't be rude."
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"You have to understand, this is how old people smell in groups."
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"All right, we're going in. We're going in."
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"Hey, Eunice. Mr. Hav."
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"Holy crow!"
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"Are you Bob Hamburg, the famous movie director?"
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"Am I Bob Hamburg, the famous movie director?"
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"You bet I am!"
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"Aunty? It's me, Emily."
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"I brought Miranda with me."
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"Of course, she remembers me."
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"See?"
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"Aunty Moira, I'm gonna sing a song for you..."
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"♪ The lights are calling ♪"
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"Okay, now to the important stuff. Listen."
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"Aunty Moira, when you die, and you need someone"
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"to take care of all your money and all your stuff, I'm available."
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"Miranda, that is so inappropriate. Don't talk about death here."
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"Oh, right. Right."
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"So, when you go to sleep..."
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"Emily, they, uh, they need you at the front desk."
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"At the front desk, why?"
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"Mouth pills. Go... go check. Go check."
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"I'll be right back."
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"Miranda, in case you couldn't tell, I was lying to your sister."
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"Just wasting away amongst these ordinary old people."
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"The Man with Two Scars, and Radioactive Mistake."
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"All of them, Miranda, are classics."
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"Hello, pretty lady."
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"- [Jim] Oh! - Mmm!"
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"Tit's a pleasure, Mr. Hamburg."
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"I'm Miranda, and you need to put me in your next movie."
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"I have an extensive acting resume,"
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"including many performances in various venues,"
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"including my living room, uh, my kitchen, closet..."
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"You sound like a talented young lady."
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"Do I know talent?"
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"You bet I do!"
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"Right, well, I'm gonna perform a monologue for you."
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"It's really good. It's from this amazing play that..."
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"[Emily] Nope, nope, nope. No, you don't."
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"Emily, you're interrupting my audition."
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"Okay, this was all a big mistake,"
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"and I should've known you two would do something like this. Let's go."
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"- Come on, we're leaving. - [Miranda whines] Emily."
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"- Come on. - [Miranda] He wanted to see me perform."
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"[sighs]"
Haters Back Off!
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