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Clips from Louie (2010) - Elevator, Pt. 5 (S04E04)

"Sad news from Miami as Hurricane Jasmine Forsythe"
Louie (2010)
"has claimed the life of LeBron James"
Louie (2010)
"Mr. James was swept away by the storm surge"
Louie (2010)
"Once again, we're reporting the sad death of LeBron James,"
Louie (2010)
"and 12 million other people."
Louie (2010)
"What came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Louie (2010)
"It's really easy-- it's the egg."
Louie (2010)
"because you can't just make a chicken."
Louie (2010)
"You can't just have chicken."
Louie (2010)
"You can't go, "Chicken"."
Louie (2010)
"Mm-hmm."
Louie (2010)
"and it stinks."
Louie (2010)
"of a hay bale in New York City."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I'll have the fried reindeer feet."
Louie (2010)
"AIDS."
Louie (2010)
"Then, you're gonna be lonely."
Louie (2010)
"More or less, yeah, that's the thing."
Louie (2010)
"and you're having a great time."
Louie (2010)
"Ah, we're talking about you now."
Louie (2010)
"I love my wife, love my kids,"
Louie (2010)
"AIDS."
Louie (2010)
"Please-- have your fun now."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, it's a zero-sum game."
Louie (2010)
"and I still-- I wanna be alone all the time."
Louie (2010)
"and your dumb kids."
Louie (2010)
"Mm?"
Louie (2010)
"What do you do all day?"
Louie (2010)
"That's a great question."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, when you're not doing that."
Louie (2010)
"What-- what is your day?"
Louie (2010)
"All right, how about yesterday?"
Louie (2010)
"10:00, 10:30?"
Louie (2010)
"Okay, 10:00-- take me through all of it."
Louie (2010)
"Catch up on a little Facebooking,"
Louie (2010)
"boom, time for breakfast."
Louie (2010)
"Every day, I go to the diner downstairs from me."
Louie (2010)
"I have toast, well-done bacon,"
Louie (2010)
"Nice."
Louie (2010)
"It was just sniffles, or allergies, or something,"
Louie (2010)
"So I go to a clinic."
Louie (2010)
"Storefront, open late, 40-minute wait."
Louie (2010)
"to get out my Setagaya Ramen punch card."
Louie (2010)
"I count the punches-- ten."
Louie (2010)
"I qualify for a free bowl of ramen--"
Louie (2010)
"I belong to gyms."
Louie (2010)
"American Express points, it isn't."
Louie (2010)
"Did a great deal-- 80% of the door, $10 ticket."
Louie (2010)
"I get 80%, he gets 20%."
Louie (2010)
"Do you know how much a train to Poughkeepsie costs?"
Louie (2010)
"Exactly."
Louie (2010)
"Do you know how much a Chinatown bus"
Louie (2010)
"which is just 20 minutes outside of Poughkeepsie, is?"
Louie (2010)
""Hey, can you come pick me up?""
Louie (2010)
"Croton?"
Louie (2010)
"Boom, I get the ride."
Louie (2010)
"Can I get Three Miller Lites, two Long Islands..."
Louie (2010)
"I take a peek at the crowd."
Louie (2010)
"It says "Todd Berry"..."
Louie (2010)
"Everyone makes mistakes, right?"
Louie (2010)
"My dressing room sign says "Todd Berry" with an "E"."
Louie (2010)
"And he gives me a look, like, "So?""
Louie (2010)
""but I don't ask for much."
Louie (2010)
""whatever you want,"
Louie (2010)
""take one sheet of paper,"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, it's not what he said."
Louie (2010)
"Hey."
Louie (2010)
"Evan-- oh, shit."
Louie (2010)
"God damn it."
Louie (2010)
"Okay-- all right, okay."
Louie (2010)
"This woman needs your help."
Louie (2010)
"What if she's dead?"
Louie (2010)
"She's a nice-- she's unconscious."
Louie (2010)
"hit her on the back."
Louie (2010)
"Ah! Ah."
Louie (2010)
"They're perfect plugs for the esophagus."
Louie (2010)
"and sterile environment, yes."
Louie (2010)
"You knew Gleason?"
Louie (2010)
"You come see me--"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, thank you very much, doctor."
Louie (2010)
"- Thank you. - Yes."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Look, maybe just-- let me take you back upstairs, all right?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, you know what?"
Louie (2010)
"You like Mentos?"
Louie (2010)
"Nah, what are you-- you don't-- ah."
Louie (2010)
"Well, be-- do it carefully, okay?"
Louie (2010)
"- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah?"
Louie (2010)
"What I want to ask is-- is it serious?"
Louie (2010)
"okay, I-- I-- I--- I feel like--"
Louie (2010)
"you're so beautiful"-- no."
Louie (2010)
"so you stay just as you are."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, this new lock, I don't even know how it works."
Louie (2010)
"No, we are not going to-- I am so sick of that place."
Louie (2010)
"Yes, I do, I've been five times in the last week..."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, come on."
Louie (2010)
"Come on in."
Louie (2010)
"- Come in. - Bye."
Louie (2010)
"Bye."
Louie (2010)
"No, hello."
Louie (2010)
"No, bye."
Louie (2010)
"No-- come on."
Louie (2010)
"Better bye."
Louie (2010)
"- Bye. - Bye."
Louie (2010)
"Bye."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry."
Louie (2010)
"He was six years old."
Louie (2010)
"and the rest of the Miami Heat,"
Louie (2010)
"My daughter asked me that question,"
Louie (2010)
"uh, what came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Louie (2010)
"That's supposed to be a very perplexing question."
Louie (2010)
"and it starts this tiny, and a chicken grows."
Louie (2010)
"Now, a lot of people try to be, you know, wiseguys,"
Louie (2010)
"and they go, "Well, okay,"
Louie (2010)
"Uh, it came out of a chicken, you idiot."
Louie (2010)
"How are you?"
Louie (2010)
"You here with Louie?"
Louie (2010)
"You don't speak English, right? No English?"
Louie (2010)
"- Hm? - No English?"
Louie (2010)
"No English, no, no."
Louie (2010)
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