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Clips from The Office - The Deposition (S04E04)

"Okay. All right, Pam, would you put the call through?"
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"I don't know, I just... I never felt welcome there, you know?"
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"That's... It's such a boys' club."
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"Yeah. I hate that. Good."
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"So, here's the deal."
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"as part of Jan's wrongful termination lawsuit."
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"to augment her boobs."
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"a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behavior."
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"Yes. Yes. Pattern. "Pat-turn." My friend Pat took a turn."
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"Could we pull over and put down the top?"
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"My... I'm feeling a little... No."
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"Remember, it's not just a pattern."
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"It's a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behaviors."
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""Dis-ray." My friend Dis Ray got new specs."
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"Dis Ray Spect."
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"My friend In-A-Pro drives a Prius with his behind neighbor."
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"Yep."
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"Come on, Michael, that's tacky. Million dollars."
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"4 million. $4 million!"
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"Man, that is a lot of guacamole! Lot of the green. Lot of green."
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"That is why I have memorized Jan's answers"
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"and I've also thrown in some "er's" and "ah's"..."
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"No, Michael. ...just to make it seem like"
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"it's not memorized. No, come on."
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"He's just going to tell the truth. The truth is very, you know, complicated."
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"and just so that we wouldn't leave anything up to chance or Michael's judgment."
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"I do not feel good. Michael, I told you, I'm not..."
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"Hey, Schneider, real quick,"
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"A good start. And I think it's "busload.""
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"Where did you find this guy?"
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"I'm glad you're here. I actually need to talk to you for a second."
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"Can we talk off the record as friends?"
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"(SIGHS)"
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"Now, you've been with us for a long time. Over 10 years, right?"
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"We just want to be sure that you won't do anything to hurt us with your testimony."
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"I'll... I'll do anything for the company. Good."
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"That is great to hear."
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"It is."
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"Game, son!"
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"Hi, Kelly. Guess whose boyfriend it is?"
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"I don't want to guess. I'll give you a hint, it's not my boyfriend."
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"I don't talk trash. I talk smack."
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"They're totally different."
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"Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, "Your mama's so fat,"
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""she could eat the Internet.""
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"But smack talk is happening, like, right now."
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"Like, "You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.""
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"Jim? Can I see you for a second?"
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"You have to practice. You have to get really good and beat Darryl."
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"Oh, I can't beat Darryl. Please."
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"What? Seriously? What is she saying?"
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"Your boyfriend is so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball."
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"Jim couldn't hit a Ping-Pong ball if it was the size of the moon."
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"Were Jim's parents first cousins that were also bad at Ping-Pong?"
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"So, you're asking me to defend your honor against Kelly?"
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"Sort of. Yes."
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"Bring me a player. Okay."
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"Hi, everyone. Dianne Kelly. I'm the company's chief legal counsel."
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"Hi. No. No. Absolutely not. What is he doing here?"
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"Toby? Are you renewing your divorce vows"
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"before my deposition?"
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"I'm on your side. Never."
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"I want him gone. I don't talk until he leaves."
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"Michael, just relax, okay?"
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"You know what, I think they're ready for us now, so..."
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"Okay. All right."
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"Oh, very good. Well put."
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"People underestimate Michael."
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"He is a very good ice-skater."
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"He needs help balancing some travel receipts."
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"Are you sure he wants me?"
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"Yeah, no, he asked for you specifically."
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"He's in the conference room."
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"How long have you known the plaintiff?"
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"I haven't actually seen it,"
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"and I'm planning on renting The Pelican Brief."
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"And you were directly under her the entire time?"
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"That's what she said."
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"Excuse me?"
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"That's what she said."
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"What? Why would she say that?"
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"Can we just move on to another question? No, wait,"
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"I don't understand. Who's on record as saying this?"
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"Now, Mr. Scott, what did you say Ms. Levinson said"
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"regarding your employment status with respect to her corporate position?"
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"Come again? That's what she said? I don't know what you're talking about."
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"Oh, are you sure? Yes."
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"Can you go back to where this digression began?"
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"Mr. Schneider, "And you were directly under her the entire time?""
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"Yeah, that's what I thought."
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"She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what I call them."
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"To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest."
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"They make milk."
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"You don't need to go any further."
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"Her breasts? Yes."
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"She thought it had something to do with her recent breast-enhancement surgery?"
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"Could that have played a part in her termination?"
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"Well, if it did,"
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"Interesting. How so?"
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"Because before we started dating, we disclosed our relationship to HR."
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"And I have the proof right here."
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"Would you mind, please, just"
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"That is you and Ms. Levinson in Jamaica, is that correct?"
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"Please, when did your relationship actually begin?"
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"(SIGHING) Well, it depends on how you define begin."
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"If it's from the first time we kissed, it's, like, two years ago."
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"Excuse me? If it was from the first time we kissed sober,"
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"began two years ago and not in February as you previously testified to here?"
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"He asked for a line, like in a play."
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""Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself?""
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""I did." "Yes, you did." "Can I go to the bathroom?""
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""No." "I really have to. I've been drinking lots of water.""
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""that was to get out of a question.""
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""You still have to answer it." "First, can I go to the bathroom?" "No.""
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"Good game, Meredith."
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"Don't patronize me."
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"Thank God you're here."
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"As it turns out, one of our biggest clients is a Ping-Pong master."
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"And I have to play him tomorrow, or we lose the account."
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"Can you help me out? Will you help me practice?"
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