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Clips from The League (2009) - The Bounce Test (S01E01)

"...and a girl would, like, fall on your dick?"
The League (2009)
"Well, if you can't, I brought some visual aids to help out."
The League (2009)
"I got an apartment. It's over."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, you got it, man. - Yeah, thank you."
The League (2009)
"This is... We're in public."
The League (2009)
"I can't have porno in the house..."
The League (2009)
"Any visual aid is cheating."
The League (2009)
"- Where you guys going? - Couples' dinner."
The League (2009)
"- Kevin, let me talk to you for a second. - Let's go."
The League (2009)
"It's not right. He's not thinking."
The League (2009)
"- You know? Woof, woof. - That's cute."
The League (2009)
"Beautiful."
The League (2009)
"- The gift of boobs. - Wow."
The League (2009)
"- Here, feel it. - That's okay."
The League (2009)
"Pete is killing me and his breakup is killing me."
The League (2009)
"Wait. Watch."
The League (2009)
"Come midnight, she'll be back. Watch."
The League (2009)
"Eskimo brother."
The League (2009)
"Wait, so you guys had sex with the same girl?"
The League (2009)
"- That's how you get things done. - It's like your Platinum card?"
The League (2009)
"- What? - It's too much money for the valet."
The League (2009)
"Yes. Mmm."
The League (2009)
"- Thank you. - Bachelor care package."
The League (2009)
"DVD on how to save your marriage after an affair."
The League (2009)
"Except that, "Hey, we're at the beach.""
The League (2009)
"But I would never do it."
The League (2009)
"Right now, I'm rocking like 50 percent coverage..."
The League (2009)
"...making me ostensibly poor..."
The League (2009)
"Jenny packed that shit up so that you don't die."
The League (2009)
"Well, let me take you back."
The League (2009)
"In fact, last night she gave me very special sex."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, Elton John sang."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, just... Here you go."
The League (2009)
"Oh, God, my day has been painful."
The League (2009)
"- Do you think that they look too big? - No."
The League (2009)
"- I really need it, don't I? - Yeah, sure."
The League (2009)
"You're very frugal."
The League (2009)
"Granted, it's a Bounce Test video for some bra website..."
The League (2009)
"Yo. This song is dedicated to a very confident woman."
The League (2009)
"That's right, this goes out to my sister-in-law Jenny."
The League (2009)
"What, what She's proud of her pussy"
The League (2009)
"According to her vag All other pussies are useless"
The League (2009)
"- Jenny"
The League (2009)
"I wouldn't go to that doctor."
The League (2009)
"- Hey. - Hey."
The League (2009)
"- Kevin? - Yeah."
The League (2009)
"That's like taking a dump on the Constitution."
The League (2009)
"You don't do it. It's freedom of speech."
The League (2009)
"- I love you? I love you. - It's... Oh..."
The League (2009)
"We'll give you Fred Taylor."
The League (2009)
"I will not tell Sofia that you're a pathetic..."
The League (2009)
"I'm sorry, babe."
The League (2009)
"- Crazy Tiffany? - Crazy Tiffany with the piercing."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, man. - How you doing?"
The League (2009)
"Hello, you collection of shit sippers."
The League (2009)
"It's week one. Ruxin versus Pete."
The League (2009)
"- He's a little gnome. - Miserable troll."
The League (2009)
"Is Three Beat the name of your team..."
The League (2009)
"...or the amount of times you plan on getting married?"
The League (2009)
"No, no, no, my friend, it's gonna take effort."
The League (2009)
"Remember how in college, you used to get drunk..."
The League (2009)
"- That's not the way it works in your 30s. - He's got a point there, okay?"
The League (2009)
"Can you imagine you going to a bar right now?"
The League (2009)
""Oh, hey, it's me, Pete.""
The League (2009)
""Oh, hey, I'm a 21-year-old.""
The League (2009)
""Oh, you wanna go to a Counting Crows concert this weekend?""
The League (2009)
""Who are the Counting Crows?""
The League (2009)
""Are you kidding me, Adam Duritz? That guy's cool.""
The League (2009)
""Uh, lame.""
The League (2009)
""Whatever. I'll just go home and blow my friend Kevin.""
The League (2009)
"- Shiva could never love a man like this. - No."
The League (2009)
""Oh, thank God Kevin's penis is so small. I can fit it in my mouth and still talk.""
The League (2009)
"So it's, like, "over" over? I mean, is it...?"
The League (2009)
"Pretty much. Yeah."
The League (2009)
"There's like a ripple effect for your breakup."
The League (2009)
"It goes beyond you."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, in terms of how it affects, like, you? - Yes, exactly."
The League (2009)
"- I didn't think about that. - You did not think about that."
The League (2009)
"I wasn't sensitive to your feelings as I was going through a split-up with my wife."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, your breakup is affecting me now..."
The League (2009)
"...because I have not had sex with Sofia since she had the baby."
The League (2009)
"She was about ready to start opening it up..."
The League (2009)
"...and now she is so distraught because of it..."
The League (2009)
"...she's spending her time with Meegan."
The League (2009)
"Are you basically saying I should get back together with Meegan..."
The League (2009)
"...because it's mildly inconvenient for your sex life?"
The League (2009)
"I would like you to have a kid so we're living under the same restrictions."
The League (2009)
"Yours."
The League (2009)
"I ordered a Riesling."
The League (2009)
"You ordered that. I don't... I'm not ordering that."
The League (2009)
"Child, please."
The League (2009)
"- What? - Yeah, I'm sorry, what was that?"
The League (2009)
"Child, please."
The League (2009)
"- Is that Ochocinco? - Ochocinco."
The League (2009)
"Can we get back on track and explain to you that my balls are like New Orleans..."
The League (2009)
"...and the levees are about to burst."
The League (2009)
"Why don't you just jerk off? I don't understand what the problem is."
The League (2009)
"- Masturbate. - No, I'm not... I don't."
The League (2009)
"My sexual imagination is not sexy, it's scary."
The League (2009)
"You just need porn. Get yourself some porn."
The League (2009)
"- I would love some porn. - Just get a magazine or something soft-core."
The League (2009)
"I don't like the way porno magazines smell, okay? Ugh."
The League (2009)
"...because Sofia considers that cheating. Any visual aid is cheating?"
The League (2009)
"I got a deal with Jenny."
The League (2009)
"I can watch as much porn as I want as long as I'm working out."
The League (2009)
"- Even hard-core stuff? - Yep."
The League (2009)
"All I know is that if I don't come soon, that I'm gonna physically get sick."
The League (2009)
"- You can get sick. - No, you can't get sick."
The League (2009)
"As a doctor, trust me, I know."
The League (2009)
"Andre, you're a plastic surgeon."
The League (2009)
"- Okay? - Yeah."
The League (2009)
"...and inject it into my penis, I will come to you."
The League (2009)
"Okay, yeah, I don't do that anymore."
The League (2009)
"- It's dangerous. - It isn't."
The League (2009)
"We gotta get going, come on. We gotta do a thing."
The League (2009)
"We're gonna be late, dude."
The League (2009)
"I know it's gonna be natural for me to be the topic of conversation tonight."
The League (2009)
"- Could you just put a damper on that? - It won't even come up, I promise."
The League (2009)
"It's over, kaput, finito. Done."
The League (2009)
"He's got his own place now."
The League (2009)
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