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Clips from Trading Places (1983)

But you don't care because you helped them do this to me.

"But you don't care because you helped them do this to me."

Trading Places (1983)

Give me your hand.

"Give me your hand."

Trading Places (1983)

And a manicure. Never done a hard day's work in your life, have you?

"And a manicure. Never done a hard day's work in your life, have you?"

Trading Places (1983)

come on. Get in.

"come on. Get in."

Trading Places (1983)

Hey, that looks just like the dude that had me busted.

"Hey, that looks just like the dude that had me busted."

Trading Places (1983)

Right there, he looked just like the mother...

"Right there, he looked just like the mother..."

Trading Places (1983)

The dude right there.

"The dude right there."

Trading Places (1983)

- Right over there. - That's my car.

"- Right over there. - That's my car."

Trading Places (1983)

Coleman! Coleman, that's my car!

"Coleman! Coleman, that's my car!"

Trading Places (1983)

There's some strange shit going on here, Coleman.

"There's some strange shit going on here, Coleman."

Trading Places (1983)

You don't want to be late for your first day, sir.

"You don't want to be late for your first day, sir."

Trading Places (1983)

What do they want me to do here?

"What do they want me to do here?"

Trading Places (1983)

Just be yourself, sir.

"Just be yourself, sir."

Trading Places (1983)

- Excuse me, my name is... - Mr Valentine.

"- Excuse me, my name is... - Mr Valentine."

Trading Places (1983)

Sit down.

"Sit down."

Trading Places (1983)

No thanks, guys. I already had breakfast.

"No thanks, guys. I already had breakfast."

Trading Places (1983)

This is not a meal, Valentine.

"This is not a meal, Valentine."

Trading Places (1983)

We are commodities brokers, William.

"We are commodities brokers, William."

Trading Places (1983)

Now, what are commodities?

"Now, what are commodities?"

Trading Places (1983)

Commodities are agricultural products.

"Commodities are agricultural products."

Trading Places (1983)

Wheat, which is used to make bread.

"Wheat, which is used to make bread."

Trading Places (1983)

Pork bellies, which is used to make bacon,

"Pork bellies, which is used to make bacon,"

Trading Places (1983)

which you might find in a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.

"which you might find in a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich."

Trading Places (1983)

Then there are other commodities like... frozen orange juice... and gold.

"Then there are other commodities like... frozen orange juice... and gold."

Trading Places (1983)

- Clear so far? - Yeah.

"- Clear so far? - Yeah."

Trading Places (1983)

and we buy or sell their gold for them.

"and we buy or sell their gold for them."

Trading Places (1983)

The good part is that no matter whether our clients make money,

"The good part is that no matter whether our clients make money,"

Trading Places (1983)

or lose money, Duke & Duke get the commissions.

"or lose money, Duke & Duke get the commissions."

Trading Places (1983)

Well, what do you think, Valentine?

"Well, what do you think, Valentine?"

Trading Places (1983)

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened."

Trading Places (1983)

He planted the drugs on me.

"He planted the drugs on me."

Trading Places (1983)

Hey, hey, how ya doing?

"Hey, hey, how ya doing?"

Trading Places (1983)

He was wearing my Harvard tie.

"He was wearing my Harvard tie."

Trading Places (1983)

Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like, oh sure, he went to Harvard.

"Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like, oh sure, he went to Harvard."

Trading Places (1983)

If he's being driven around in my car, he could actually be living in my house.

"If he's being driven around in my car, he could actually be living in my house."

Trading Places (1983)

Maybe he's even taken my job.

"Maybe he's even taken my job."

Trading Places (1983)

For all I know, right at this moment he could be fondling my fiancee.

"For all I know, right at this moment he could be fondling my fiancee."

Trading Places (1983)

And Coleman - after years of service, this betrayal.

"And Coleman - after years of service, this betrayal."

Trading Places (1983)

- The things that I... - Shut up, Louis.

"- The things that I... - Shut up, Louis."

Trading Places (1983)

Taxis cost money, food costs money and rent costs money!

"Taxis cost money, food costs money and rent costs money!"

Trading Places (1983)

Now, you want me to help you out, I expect a lot in return.

"Now, you want me to help you out, I expect a lot in return."

Trading Places (1983)

These were here when I moved in. Put 'em on if you want.

"These were here when I moved in. Put 'em on if you want."

Trading Places (1983)

Look, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate this...

"Look, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate this..."

Trading Places (1983)

- Ophelia. - Ophelia, you realise that's the name...

"- Ophelia. - Ophelia, you realise that's the name..."

Trading Places (1983)

I know, Hamlet's girlfriend. He went crazy, she killed herself.

"I know, Hamlet's girlfriend. He went crazy, she killed herself."

Trading Places (1983)

This is not Shakespeare, Louis.

"This is not Shakespeare, Louis."

Trading Places (1983)

I'm 24. I'm from a small, miserable mining town you probably never heard of.

"I'm 24. I'm from a small, miserable mining town you probably never heard of."

Trading Places (1983)

I don't do drugs.

"I don't do drugs."

Trading Places (1983)

But it's cheap, it's clean and it's all mine.

"But it's cheap, it's clean and it's all mine."

Trading Places (1983)

I've saved 42 grand and it's in T-Bills earning interest.

"I've saved 42 grand and it's in T-Bills earning interest."

Trading Places (1983)

I've got three more years on my back. I'll have enough to retire.

"I've got three more years on my back. I'll have enough to retire."

Trading Places (1983)

You're a prostitute?

"You're a prostitute?"

Trading Places (1983)

I'm talking about a business proposition, Louis.

"I'm talking about a business proposition, Louis."

Trading Places (1983)

I help you get back on your feet and you pay me, in cash, five figures.

"I help you get back on your feet and you pay me, in cash, five figures."

Trading Places (1983)

That's the deal and it's not subject to negotiation.

"That's the deal and it's not subject to negotiation."

Trading Places (1983)

By the way, food and rent are not the only things here that cost money.

"By the way, food and rent are not the only things here that cost money."

Trading Places (1983)

- Put them on my personal account. - That's a big mistake, man.

"- Put them on my personal account. - That's a big mistake, man."

Trading Places (1983)

Why shouldn't we buy now, William?

"Why shouldn't we buy now, William?"

Trading Places (1983)

Price is going to keep going down.

"Price is going to keep going down."

Trading Places (1983)

- It's Christmas time. Everybody's uptight. - Could we please buy now?

"- It's Christmas time. Everybody's uptight. - Could we please buy now?"

Trading Places (1983)

- If you want to lose money go ahead. - What are you trying to say?

"- If you want to lose money go ahead. - What are you trying to say?"

Trading Places (1983)

The people with pork belly contracts are thinking,

"The people with pork belly contracts are thinking,"

Trading Places (1983)

"Hey, we're losing all our money and Christmas is coming.

""Hey, we're losing all our money and Christmas is coming."

Trading Places (1983)

"I won't be able to buy my son the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip.

""I won't be able to buy my son the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip."

Trading Places (1983)

"And my wife won't make love to me cos I ain't got no money."

""And my wife won't make love to me cos I ain't got no money.""

Trading Places (1983)

They don't want to lose all their money. They are panicking right now. I can feel it.

"They don't want to lose all their money. They are panicking right now. I can feel it."

Trading Places (1983)

Look at them.

"Look at them."

Trading Places (1983)

He's right, Mortimer, my God, look at it.

"He's right, Mortimer, my God, look at it."

Trading Places (1983)

Money isn't everything, Randolph.

"Money isn't everything, Randolph."

Trading Places (1983)

Mr Valentine has set the price.

"Mr Valentine has set the price."

Trading Places (1983)

Well done, William. Very well done.

"Well done, William. Very well done."

Trading Places (1983)

- You can count it, it's all there. - Thank you.

"- You can count it, it's all there. - Thank you."

Trading Places (1983)

- It's all there, count it. - I'm sure it is. Keep up the good work.

"- It's all there, count it. - I'm sure it is. Keep up the good work."

Trading Places (1983)

That was great, that was really great.

"That was great, that was really great."

Trading Places (1983)

...and she stepped on the ball.

"...and she stepped on the ball."

Trading Places (1983)

Don't worry, I'll handle this, Pookums.

"Don't worry, I'll handle this, Pookums."

Trading Places (1983)

Todd, Harry, Andrew, Philip.

"Todd, Harry, Andrew, Philip."

Trading Places (1983)

I realise this looks completely awful but I just wanted to assure you,

"I realise this looks completely awful but I just wanted to assure you,"

Trading Places (1983)

my friends, that I am completely innocent.

"my friends, that I am completely innocent."

Trading Places (1983)

I'm going to fight this. Someone is out to get me and I know who.

"I'm going to fight this. Someone is out to get me and I know who."

Trading Places (1983)

The important thing is that I can rely on you,

"The important thing is that I can rely on you,"

Trading Places (1983)

my friends, as character witnesses.

"my friends, as character witnesses."

Trading Places (1983)

and I wondered if you could see your way clear

"and I wondered if you could see your way clear"

Trading Places (1983)

Nobody wants to buy your drugs, Louis. Why don't you just go away?

"Nobody wants to buy your drugs, Louis. Why don't you just go away?"

Trading Places (1983)

Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'.

"Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'."

Trading Places (1983)

Hot? Do you mean to imply, stolen?

"Hot? Do you mean to imply, stolen?"

Trading Places (1983)

- I'll give you 50 bucks for it. - 50 bucks!

"- I'll give you 50 bucks for it. - 50 bucks!"

Trading Places (1983)

No, no, no. This is a Rochefoucauld, the thinnest water-resistant watch in the world.

"No, no, no. This is a Rochefoucauld, the thinnest water-resistant watch in the world."

Trading Places (1983)

hand-crafted in Switzerland and water-resistant to three atmospheres.

"hand-crafted in Switzerland and water-resistant to three atmospheres."

Trading Places (1983)

This is the sports watch of the '80s. $6,955 retail.

"This is the sports watch of the '80s. $6,955 retail."

Trading Places (1983)

Got a receipt?

"Got a receipt?"

Trading Places (1983)

Look, it tells time simultaneously

"Look, it tells time simultaneously"

Trading Places (1983)

in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome and Gstaad.

"in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome and Gstaad."

Trading Places (1983)

In Philadelphia it's worth 50 bucks.

"In Philadelphia it's worth 50 bucks."

Trading Places (1983)

Just give me the money.

"Just give me the money."

Trading Places (1983)

How much for the gun?

"How much for the gun?"

Trading Places (1983)

So, this snail is standing in front of the Cadillac salesman, see,

"So, this snail is standing in front of the Cadillac salesman, see,"

Trading Places (1983)

The snail says, "I want a big 'S' put on each door

"The snail says, "I want a big 'S' put on each door"

Trading Places (1983)

"and on top of the car, I want a big 'S' so everybody can see it."

""and on top of the car, I want a big 'S' so everybody can see it.""

Trading Places (1983)

Salesman says, "Why do you want that?" He says, "When I drive down the avenue...

"Salesman says, "Why do you want that?" He says, "When I drive down the avenue..."

Trading Places (1983)

"I want everybody to say 'Look at that S-car-go."'

""I want everybody to say 'Look at that S-car-go."'"

Trading Places (1983)

"Look at the S-car-go."

""Look at the S-car-go.""

Trading Places (1983)

I can think of three good reasons why you shouldn't do that, judge.

"I can think of three good reasons why you shouldn't do that, judge."

Trading Places (1983)

...and three, judging by the jewels around your girlfriend's neck,

"...and three, judging by the jewels around your girlfriend's neck,"

Trading Places (1983)

I think you're going to need every penny just to keep her happy.

"I think you're going to need every penny just to keep her happy."

Trading Places (1983)

103. That's it, you're staying in bed.

"103. That's it, you're staying in bed."

Trading Places (1983)

Stay here.

"Stay here."

Trading Places (1983)

It's ten o'clock - here's Johnny.

"It's ten o'clock - here's Johnny."

Trading Places (1983)

Listen, baby, I'm sorry. My momma just came in from outta town.

"Listen, baby, I'm sorry. My momma just came in from outta town."

Trading Places (1983)

Can we do it next week?

"Can we do it next week?"

Trading Places (1983)

- What are you doing? - You've got company.

"- What are you doing? - You've got company."

Trading Places (1983)

I'm just protecting my investment. That's all.

"I'm just protecting my investment. That's all."

Trading Places (1983)

Nobody works on Christmas Eve.

"Nobody works on Christmas Eve."

Trading Places (1983)

I'm going shopping and then I'll make you a nice quiet dinner.

"I'm going shopping and then I'll make you a nice quiet dinner."

Trading Places (1983)

Now, read your paper.

"Now, read your paper."

Trading Places (1983)

Ah William, where've you been? The party's already begun.

"Ah William, where've you been? The party's already begun."

Trading Places (1983)

I have some work to finish.

"I have some work to finish."

Trading Places (1983)

Yes sir. I was wondering about this $10,000 cheque to Mr Clarence Beeks.

"Yes sir. I was wondering about this $10,000 cheque to Mr Clarence Beeks."

Trading Places (1983)

I'll take care of it, Valentine.

"I'll take care of it, Valentine."

Trading Places (1983)

Ho, ho, ho!

"Ho, ho, ho!"

Trading Places (1983)

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