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Clips from 30 Rock - The C Word (S01E01)

"How about you come with me to a big party in Connecticut"
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"and meet Don Geiss?"
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"You might want to rephrase that."
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"Frank, wake up. You're not allowed to sleep through the topical meeting."
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"OK, the van to take you up to Connecticut will be leaving at noon,"
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"OK, have fun. Don't get drunk."
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"If you're worried about disgracing the National Broadcasting Company,"
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"Look, Grace, this is obviously incredibly awkward for both of us,"
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"But we could work out a signal, so I could let you know when he does arrive. Like..."
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"- That won't be necessary. - I'll probably just do it anyway."
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"Oh, thanks. It was like pulling teeth."
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"Good job whipping him into shape. That thing is really smart."
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"Look at these guys."
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"Maybe you want to adopt one."
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"Oh, I can't. I'm allergic to anything warm and adorable."
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"- Jack, how are you? - Ted, Amanda, so nice to see you."
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"Yeah, you're right. It doesn't work."
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"What? Why didn't you guys tell me?"
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"OK, we're at the bottom of page 2."
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"Bringing Tracy Jordan was a smart move, Jack."
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"and you're just gonna sit back and watch."
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"Excuse me."
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"Once that stuff get in your hang, you're done."
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"Would you excuse us for a moment, please?"
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"I believe Tracy's referring to Carlton,"
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"1990 through 1996, on NBC."
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"What? I can't help it if he got mad."
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"OK, bartender, could you bring me a Mustang Melon"
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"- I think we should wait on that. - Really? OK. What you got?"
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"I made something for the writers."
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"Ted, Kenneth here is one of our most promising young pages."
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"I studied fried chicken at the school of hard knocks. Ain't that right, Mr Jack?"
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"You still here?"
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"But, thank God, I'm here!"
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"Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, Liz. I thought I turned it off."
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"- Oh, awesome! - What a fun boss you have, right?"
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"Would you like me to do a tap dance for you and your big-time friends, Mr Jack?"
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"Kenneth, play this hole for me, would you? Come with me."
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"- What are you doing? - Payback."
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"I don't care about Don Geiss. I'm a movie star!"
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"who's best known for using a corporate credit card at a gay strip club!"
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"Where is everybody?"
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"No, no, I get it."
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"Thank you."
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"We stayed up all night the night before,"
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"And I just hope that all of you will join me. Thank you."
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"I want you and Tracy to come up,"
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"and we'll talk about getting you back in the movie business."
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"Congratulations, Tracy, and welcome to the grown-up world."
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"there is something that I must say to you,"
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"My wife needs her sweater."
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"And until you learn to respect me,"
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"This is my house."
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"Oh, you fat nerd."
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"- Hey, it's Nancy McKeon's birthday today. - Oh, that's cool."
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"Didn't you bake us anything?"
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"Hey, I thought you were gonna bring snickerdoodles in."
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"Listen up, everybody."
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"There will be no more baked goods,"
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"And when it came on again at 5:30, I taped it."
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"- What is "Aux"? - Hey, can I go now?"
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"Please don't make me move back to Alaska. I hate it there."
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"I will fire you,"
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"Yo, is this about that little redheaded intern?"
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"- 'Cause she asked me to take it out. - No, no, no."
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"I wanted to invite you to join me at a charity golf tourney"
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"that Don Geiss is hosting at his country club in Old Saybrook."
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"I'm not familiar with about half the words in that sentence."
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"Is that the gay guy from "Project Runway"?"
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"No. He's the C.E.O. of this corporation..."
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"- The big man. - The dude from my cheques?"
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"A'ight, sure. Thanks for inviting me."
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"Oh, hey, false alarm. It turns out she asked him to take it out."
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"I see you in CT, Jackie D."
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"What's that about?"
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"I've invited him to join me at a G.E. charity golf tournament in Connecticut."
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"Liz, all the VPs will be angling to golf with Don Geiss,"
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"Geiss will absolutely choose us, and that's a big deal"
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"because being in a foursome with this man can change your life."
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"It means four hours of face time with a man you normally only get 20 minutes with."
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"Which one is Geiss again... the bald one?"
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"- That one. - Where did that come from?"
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"- I painted it myself. - Wow, that's really good."
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"All right, thanks."
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"Simply the best"
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"Did anybody see Condoleezza on "Meet the Press" yesterday?"
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"and we are currently adhering to that plan.""
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"Oh, my God. Me too."
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"Lutz, not while we're working."
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"OK, maybe something about the midterm elections?"
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"I didn't like it two weeks ago when it was called "Americas Next Top Hobo,""
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"and I didn't like it a month ago when it was called "Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy.""
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"you have for all-you-can-eat buffets?"
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"and once you get up to the golf course, you'll be working in pairs."
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"So, Tim and Shyla, Amy and Becca,"
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"a romantic past."
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"Well, Grace, it's been a pleasure talking to you."
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"We're pages."
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"I just don't want to disgrace the peacock."
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"but let's just try to be professional."
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"Your peacock earrings look nice. Doggone it, Grace."
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"- Has Don Geiss arrived yet? - No, sir."
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"That cold open you guys wrote last night came out really good."
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"They're so lazy sometimes, especially Lutz."
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"Now, when Dennis Hasten farts, should that be live or pre-recorded?"
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"- Live. It has to be live for the timing. - Yeah, I thought so, too."
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"Yeah,they like you."
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"They're very good at sensing debilitating loneliness in a person."
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"I'm doing my job, and she shoots me down in front of everybody."
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"I don't care if she's the boss. Liz is a Grade-A..."
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"- Runt! - What?"
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"This kitten... he's such a runt."
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"I'm gonna name you "Runty." You're such a little raging little runt."
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"Come on, Runty. Come on."
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"This is Tracy Jordan. Ted is the head of our commercial aviation division."
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"Nah, I don't want to get in it."
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"I want to blow it up and run away from it in slow motion."
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"You're doing great. Everybody loves you."
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"In season 5, when Delta was really packing it on..."
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"glorious."
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