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Clips from Perfect Strangers - Knock Knock, Who's There? (S01E01)

"Mickey wouldn't try to run up your leg."
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"Yeah, okay, okay, okay. I'll be right up."
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"I have to run upstairs and protect Susan's legs from rodents."
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"Balki, I want you to do me a big favor. - You want me to watch the store?"
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"I want you to watch the store."
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"Don't move. Just stand there. Can you do that?"
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"You're not exactly pushing me to my outer limits."
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"Stand there."
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"Ah!"
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"Excuse me. I'm interested in this chair."
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"Well, how much is it?"
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"What the price tag says?"
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"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous."
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"What do you go by?"
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"We'II, uh, negotiate."
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"You are the head man here, aren't you?"
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"Of course I am."
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"Come over here to me."
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"Cousin Larry, don't you notice anything different?"
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"I sold that chair, and that fan, and that brass coat rack."
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"You did? - All without moving."
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"Well, that's great."
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"Needless to say, Cousin Larry..."
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"...I think I've been wasting my time poking animals up the hill with a stick."
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"And here's the money."
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"Forty-five dollars. That was a couple hundred dollars' worth of stuff."
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"Where's the rest? - That's it."
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"Well, there were price tags on that stuff. - You don't go by what's on the price tag."
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"You don't?"
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"I bartered, like we do at the marketplace on Mypos."
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"You know, I think I should look for a job as a salesperson."
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"Well, stick around. When Twinkacetti fires me, you can apply for my job."
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"Cousin Larry? Cousin Larry?"
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"I'm so sorry."
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"Maybe Mr. Twinkacetti won't notice these things are missing."
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"But you sold his hat rack."
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"Every day, the first thing he does when he comes in..."
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"...is put his hat on that rack."
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"Same damn thing every day. Sunlight. It gets old."
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"Buy something or get out."
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"Where's the yo-yo?"
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"Hi, Mr. Twinkacetti. Rotten day, isn't it?"
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"Why are you standing there holding my hat on a stick?"
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"Well, uh, technically, it's a cane."
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"Well, uh, technically, you're a jerk."
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"Where's my hat rack?"
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"Mr. Twinkacetti."
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"Who are you?"
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"Who cares? Why is he selling stuff?"
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"Forty-five. Forty-five bucks? That hat rack was solid brass."
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"Where's the other 30? - That was my mistake."
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"But to make it up, I won't charge you for the hour I worked."
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"Mr. Twinkacetti, he doesn't have it."
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"I can fix things."
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"Who cares? - You can fix things?"
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"Actually, you know, if you fixed up some of the used things you take in..."
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"...you could sell it for more money. It's a good idea."
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"If I wanna hear a good idea, I'll go to a smarter source than you..."
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"...like a wedge of cheese."
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"I can fix anything."
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"Once my grandmother broke her little finger into Silly Putty."
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"It just hung there all limp and dangly."
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"And I said, "You give me that." This what we do."
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"We take some nice mud, and we make a cast, and dry in the hot sun."
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"And six months later, I took off the cast, and what do you think?"
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"The finger is no more limp and dangly."
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"It won't bend at all."
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"Just sticks out like a nail in a board."
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"Now, get out of here."
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"All right, all right, I'll give him, like, a little test."
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"Out of the way. Let's see. Aha."
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"Fix this old radio, and he's got a job."
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"That's not fair. That radio probably hasn't worked for 40 years."
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"Take it or leave it. - He'll take it. Can you fix it?"
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"Of course I can. It's probably just the picture tube."
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"There you go, 15 points."
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""Mypos"? I challenge that."
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"Mypos is a real country."
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"Cousin, I need to take a break."
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"I never knew fixing a radio could be so quiet."
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"Susan, this is the cousin I was telling you about."
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"Balki, meet Susan. She's our neighbor. - Hi. Nice to meet you."
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"Would it be impolite to ask if I could be your slave for life?"
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"Well, uh, I think that's illegal."
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"This cute Mediterranean boy means every groveling word."
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"Take me and do with me as you will."
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"You're embarrassing Susan. Stand up. Act like a man."
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"Go work on the radio."
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"Then I take you in my thoughts."
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"I want to worship your painted toenails."
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"Look. Just leave with whatever little dignity you have left."
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"Come on. Go. - Nice to meet you too."
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"I can die happy now. - Right."
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"He grovels great."
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"Sorry. Now I understand why he doesn't have a crease in his pants."
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"Oh, he's sweet. You know, I hope he gets the job."
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"Then he doesn't have a chance? - Well, I didn't say that."
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"See, Balki doesn't know it..."
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"...but I'm gonna slip this little baby in that big old radio..."
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"...and at the proper moment, click, dance fever."
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"That's sneaky. - I know."
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"I'm very proud."
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"Good morning, cheers, and top of the day."
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"Well, you're in a good mood."
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"And why not? Last night all my horse accounts paid off."
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"And today, I get to laugh in a man's face."
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"Sounds like a good day to me. Go for it, sport."
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"Balki. Balki."
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"Hey, grape leaf, turn on the radio."
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"I fell asleep before I got to test it."
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"But it'll work. Balki fixed it."
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"And that's why this is gonna be so much fun."
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"You'll be embarrassed when that radio works."
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"Cousin Larry, what this?"
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"Feeble. Boy, that was feeble."
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"And you didn't think I'd catch on? Turn it on."
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"All right. Make yourselves ready."
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"You did it. You did it. - I did it."
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"Look at this place. It looks like Ella Fitzgerald gave a concert."
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"What a great sound. How much you want for it?"
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