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Clips from The Office - Lecture Circuit: Part 1 (S05E05)

"They just cut our budget."
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"None in yours, Julia, because I don't know how you take it"
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"Four Splenda? Are you crazy?"
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"No, I actually only put in two,"
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"Are you out of your damn mind?"
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"You bring an angel like that into this office"
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"We are friends. Stanley, we're friends."
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""Prepare yourself for the Utica Chain Store Massacre.""
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"No, it's not."
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"E-mail's not scary. This is an opportunity. Don't blow it."
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"So, when are you due?"
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"Wow, that is wonderful. Congratulations."
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"Thank you. It just all happened so fast."
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"It's really amazing. Congratulations, Karen. Thanks."
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"Yes, Michael. My husband impregnated me."
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"Yes, thank you."
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"He's a dermatologist. We met at a bar. Can you believe that?"
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"What is happening there?"
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"(BOTH LAUGHING) Oh, yeah, don't even... That's really dorky."
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"It's really sweet."
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"No, it's really dorky."
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"You were right the first time."
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"That's so great. That's great."
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"Thank you."
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"Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you."
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"This is really a wonderful moment."
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"I have to take care of a couple of things,"
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"so Andy will be taking over things here."
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"You are in good hands and give my best to your mother."
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"So, Julia, um, let's see."
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"With regards to billing, should we send bills"
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"No, it can go straight to our business address."
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"Is he just, like, totally threatened by you, or..."
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"I'm about to ask out this girl and I'm completely panicking."
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"Yeah. Yeah, I mean,"
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"and we love all the same music"
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"and whenever I walk into a room she totally looks up."
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"All right, say no more. This is how I got Squeaky Fromme."
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"No small talk. Just show her who's the boss."
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"Just go right in and kiss her."
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"Okay, it sounds risky."
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"Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim?"
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"Wait, what?"
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"I would give that lecture a solid B-plus."
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"Although, for the record, Karen, wow, kind of mean."
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"I'm serious. I'm really glad I came."
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"Why?"
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"Because, um..."
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"Because I'll never wonder ever again if I did something wrong,"
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"and now I have closure."
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"She's happy,"
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"and, I don't know, it feels good."
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"Thanks for walking me out."
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"Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, there's all kinds of weirdoes out here, so..."
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"You must be freezing."
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"Well, listen,"
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"you're a new client and as one of my new clients"
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"and that is the Nard-Dog guarantee."
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"What's a Nard-Dog?"
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"Whoa! What the hell?"
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"Oh..."
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"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
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"I thought we had this energy"
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"and I'm a mess and I just had my heart broken"
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"You're, like, incredibly pretty."
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"I just got out of a relationship, too. It's really hard."
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"Yeah, right? Wow."
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"Go to a mall or something, just walk around?"
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"Definitely too soon for me,"
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"so I'm glad we got that out of the way."
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"I'm going to be in touch with you in three months."
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"And maybe about that mall walk."
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"Okay."
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"Thank you."
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"Sorry I tried to kiss..."
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"Dwight Schrute. JIM: How old is Kelly?"
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"Who is this?"
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"It's Mose. Who do you think it is?"
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"Mose doesn't know how to use a phone, so joke's on you."
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"Do you think I'm calling you for your best approximation?"
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"I'll call you back."
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"Allow me to share."
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""at Berks County Youth Center.""
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"Are you asleep?"
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"No."
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"About Karen, about closure."
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"nice boobs."
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"Perfect boobs. Of course I remember Holly."
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"What you and Jim have times a hundred. Just... She..."
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"She just left and I didn't..."
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"I never got closure."
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"You know? I never got closure with her."
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"I feel like I need that."
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"(SNICKERS)"
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"Okay."
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"I am collecting $3 from everybody for Kelly's party."
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"I'd like to contribute."
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"Here you go."
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"And then he just left."
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"Look out your left-hand window"
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"(COUGHING)"
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"And, at 6'6","
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"All right. All right."
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"Hello?"
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"Good morning. Good morning."
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"and we are on the lam."
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"but I especially love"
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"and we stay in hotels together at night. Separate rooms."
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"Well, that goes without saying. I'm gonna say it anyway."
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"Have you ever seen a magiciars assistant? That's..."
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"I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl."
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"For your information, I've been with lots of beautiful women."
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"I am single now."
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"Yeah, screw you, beet farmer, I didn't forget your birthday."
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"Is that Jim's?"
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"Of course not. Okay."
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"Let's just get this over with, shall we? MICHAEL: Okay. Mmm-hmm."
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"Ten? Ten months?"
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"Well, I'm not done yet."
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"Dwight, this fits in the palm of my hand."
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