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Clips from The Office - Lecture Circuit: Part 1 (S05E05)

"and he shows Michael that our phones have a PA function."
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"Hello, Doctor. I was just following up about my mole again."
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"(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)"
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"Your mother called and it appears that you wet the bed again,"
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"I didn't. I'll look somewhere else."
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"Please drive around."
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"You ready?"
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"except Nashua. Still a little bit raw there."
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"And I like to pack heavy."
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"You never know when you're going to find a snowy hill."
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"Here we go. Okay, so what we do is we drive all day"
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"Hey, look at what you're wearing again, Pam."
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"Oh, yeah? Screw you, too."
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"You forgot her birthday."
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"It was yesterday."
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"Go ahead. Go ahead."
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"from the Party Planning Committee because there was too much drama."
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"...there was a problem with having one head of the Party Planning Committee."
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"She becomes too powerful, so he appointed two heads."
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"This is literally the stupidest thing"
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"That's on my side."
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"No, I need silence or Sam Kinison to prepare."
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"I hate the idea that someone out there hates me."
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"they wouldn't hate me."
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"Who's that?"
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"We just wanted to say we are very sorry."
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"Screw you guys. You're dead to me."
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"If you say screw you one more time..."
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"Guys, guys, guys."
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"We just want to make it up to you. What can we do?"
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"What kind of cake do you want, imbecile?"
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"you guys could go out on a little friend date sometime."
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"Stop it."
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"Hi, guys."
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"Wow, you're huge! That's incredible."
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"I... God, sorry, sorry. My head is... I'm just..."
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"It's a statement of fact."
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"Are you trying to hurt my feelings?"
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"I'll talk to you..."
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"(PEOPLE MURMURING)"
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"Or can you? No, you can't."
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"Not gonna have to do that until after I have the baby."
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"No, I am wondering what are you talking about?"
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"Would a liar bring mini Mounds bars?"
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"With a woof-woof here And a woof-woof there"
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"I have an amazing mnemonic device"
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"Can I please see you in my office, please?"
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"She is pregnant. She is knocked up. "K," Karen."
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"Brought you guys some coffees."
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"Stanley, I know you have adult-onset diabetes,"
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"Let's see, how many did I put in there?"
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"But if you'd rather..."
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"Are you out of your damn mind?"
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"We're not friends. I didn't think about it."
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"And you let me down."
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"Yeah, I really like her with all my heart."
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"Give me two clients for her."
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"No, that is incredibly dangerous."
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"No, don't worry, the chain is off."
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"and send it in an e-mail to my team."
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"So is there a guy or a person"
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"or a sperm machine that did this to you or..."
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"His name is Dan."
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"This is us. We're so dorky. That's cute."
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"So how are things in Scranton? How's Jim?"
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"They're good. Jim's good."
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"Oh, wow. Thank you."
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"Old hatreds dissolve into new friendships."
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"to you or to your boyfriend's house, or..."
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"How does your boyfriend deal with your phenomenal success?"
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"Actually, I don't have a boyfriend."
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"Really? Is that... Wow, that's so weird."
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"Guys, stop everything."
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"This gal, she's really into you?"
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"I've seen her like three times today"
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"Really? No, honestly. Tell me what you really think."
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"No, it's okay. This is my car."
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"and you came in today and you're so pretty."
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"Do you want to talk about it?"
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"No, I don't think so."
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"Sure, yeah, you're right. It's too soon."
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"We lost the account."
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"(PHONE RINGING)"
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"Damn it!"
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"Look, I'm at the supermarket and they only have numbered candles."
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"How old is she?"
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"Twenty-four. Thirty-seven."
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"Just thinking about what you said."
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"No, remind me."
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"And I feel like I need to go to Nashua and get closure."
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"Okay. Let's go."
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"Yeah. Screw them, let's do this."
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"Oh, great."
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"(MICHAEL BREATHING HEAVILY ON PA)"
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"(MICHAEL LAUGHING)"
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"MICHAEL ON PA: This is your captain speaking."
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"The office will be flying at an altitude of two stories."
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"and you will see Vance Refrigeration."
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"I am the ghost of salesmen past."
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"Do not come near me."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Yes, Michael Scott for Dr. Johnson, please."
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"Now, I was looking online about sebaceous zits."
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"I have not been squeezing it."
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"Could I stick it with a pin?"
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"Toby Flenderson to the principal's office."
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"so you have to get home to wash your sheets because they're yellow"
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"and they're wet with your urine."
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"(JIM SIGHS)"
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"from the University of North Carolina, Jim Halpert!"
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"That's pretty funny."
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"Hey, you know what? Did I drop my... What the heck?"
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"Is that... You find it?"
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"Would you like fries with that?"
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"And we're off. Like a herd of turtles."
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"(INHALES DEEPLY)"
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"Well, Pam and I have eloped."
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"Actually, we just robbed a bank"
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"Apparently, Scranton has the best sales of any regional branch,"
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