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Clips from The Office - Lecture Circuit: Part 1 (S05E05)

"You haven't blown them up enough."
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"MICHAEL: No!"
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"No, he didn't. He is alive."
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"by setting it to the tune of Old MacDonald."
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"I don't know you. But I need to know you in order to sell to you."
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"Uh, it's very insulting."
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"But it works."
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"I can't accept these prices, Stanley."
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"(SINGING) One, two, three, four Splendas in your coffee, Stanley"
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"but that's not how the song goes."
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"You really like her, huh?"
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"I grab this, and I turn it on and I say,"
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"You know, I think I'm just going to distill all of this"
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"Great."
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"I like her."
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"Will you wait here while I go get my jacket?"
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"Okay. Okay."
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"you will always be taken care of"
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"I'm going to call you about that order."
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""Kelly Kapoor spent April 1995 to December 1996"
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"Blonde hair,"
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"She was the love of my life."
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"So this is fun."
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"Not too big, not too small."
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"This morning, the phone guy comes in"
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"I can't believe how bad this looks."
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"I said I was working on it."
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"Juvie."
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"Take care, Julia."
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"Oh, my God."
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"I haven't talked to her since. I haven't seen her since."
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"This is the Nard-Dog."
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"I have taken a unique part of who you are"
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"Hello, Rolando, how are you? Hi."
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"Uh, in about a month."
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"You remember Holly? She used to work for HR."
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"the time and a half pay,"
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"We're engaged."
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"Oh, just blow off the lecture at Rochester?"
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"I am about to die."
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"What he said was... Just... Easy."
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"so I put Splenda in yours."
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"by which I have now memorized all of your names."
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"Oh, okay. All right. That makes sense."
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"Oh, my desk is over..."
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"and you don't even set me up with her."
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"(CHUCKLING) No, seriously, I am on a lecture circuit."
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"Maybe you could tie it around your waist"
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"No. No? All right."
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"I got really dressed up and excited and no one said a word."
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"Oh, this is a nice office."
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"This conversation is over."
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"Okay, good then."
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"What is that?"
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""M," your name is Mark."
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"But we already know each other's names."
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"I have here Kelly Kapoor's personal and confidential file."
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""According to past employers, it in no way affects her job..." Blah, blah, blah."
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"They match the carpet."
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"Yes. Got it. It works!"
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"Why have you chosen brown and gray balloons?"
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