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Clips from Silicon Valley - Meinertzhagen's Haversack (S03E03)

"Perhaps you can go into slightly more detail?"
Silicon Valley
"We tell Barker exactly what he wants to hear."
Silicon Valley
"That way, he thinks we're being good little boys."
Silicon Valley
"- Call the cops. - Actually, no."
Silicon Valley
"If all we gave him was the platform,"
Silicon Valley
"Jack would have no other option"
Silicon Valley
"What? That he had absolutely no idea"
Silicon Valley
"He'd look like an idiot."
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"she'd be good for it."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"We build... a skunkworks."
Silicon Valley
"A secret company inside the company."
Silicon Valley
"We go all "Ocean's Eleven" on his ass."
Silicon Valley
"starring Julia Roberts and 11 men."
Silicon Valley
"I'm saying not only are we going to have to engineer,"
Silicon Valley
"code, and stand up a full platform on our own,"
Silicon Valley
"- All right, I'm in. - Well, you're insane."
Silicon Valley
"No, Dinesh, that chain is insane."
Silicon Valley
"Sorry, Cypress Halal."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, Jared, settle down."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, how do we even begin to pull it off?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay. Well, let's work through it."
Silicon Valley
"I can generate fake status reports,"
Silicon Valley
"purchase orders, deliverables updates,"
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"and I can liaise with sales to coordinate"
Silicon Valley
"what custom features we need to pretend to build."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, great, yeah,"
Silicon Valley
"That's gonna be tricky."
Silicon Valley
"When we started moving out of the house, I dismantled Anton."
Silicon Valley
"All the racks, GPUs, and cables are in storage at the office."
Silicon Valley
"- We're gonna have to break him out. - That's a shit-ton of hardware."
Silicon Valley
"Unless we do it one piece at a time,"
Silicon Valley
"like "Shawshank Redemption""
Silicon Valley
"or "The Great Escape," you know?"
Silicon Valley
"I'd have bigger clothing on the day, but..."
Silicon Valley
"- Wait. - Wait."
Silicon Valley
"Let's say these Legos are Anton,"
Silicon Valley
"sad stacks of server components"
Silicon Valley
"lying dormant in storage."
Silicon Valley
"So, if we can't break Anton out,"
Silicon Valley
"maybe we can break in."
Silicon Valley
"Stand the servers up right where they are."
Silicon Valley
"- Can we do that? - Easy."
Silicon Valley
"I can run cable through the drop panel in the ceiling"
Silicon Valley
"When I pull a little bit of power"
Silicon Valley
"from each of the other tenants, no one will know."
Silicon Valley
"Guys, I hate to keep shitting on your campfire,"
Silicon Valley
"We have a manpower problem."
Silicon Valley
"There's a ton of engineering to be done on the platform."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, he's right, but we have to pay them under the table."
Silicon Valley
"I know just the right man for the job."
Silicon Valley
"You guys are fucking nuts, but I dig it."
Silicon Valley
"not to mention lost wages from my old job."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, and damages from when Jared sexually harassed me"
Silicon Valley
"So... all that and you're in?"
Silicon Valley
"What? Are you serious?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Well, there goes most of our cash."
Silicon Valley
"We just got extorted for $20,000."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck Carla. She was dead weight, anyway."
Silicon Valley
"- What's next? - I just thought of something."
Silicon Valley
"It's a big problem, but I think I've got a solution."
Silicon Valley
"Hello, this is Bertram Gilfoyle."
Silicon Valley
"Yes, I'm still available,"
Silicon Valley
"if you send four large pizzas"
Silicon Valley
"in 30 minutes or less."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. I think that covers it."
Silicon Valley
"- In. - Fuck yes, I'm in."
Silicon Valley
"And I'm in to the idea of taking"
Silicon Valley
"a bigger leadership role in the company."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, Erlich, just... just say, "In.""
Silicon Valley
"- We're all just saying, "In." - I'm in... volved."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, you can't spell "involved" without an "in.""
Silicon Valley
"Just be in. Uh, Dinesh?"
Silicon Valley
"All right, fuck it, I'm in... but on one condition."
Silicon Valley
"that they will no longer make fun of my gold chain."
Silicon Valley
"Shall we drink from the teat of Pappy to celebrate?"
Silicon Valley
"I think I might actually enjoy going to work now."
Silicon Valley
"- What? - Meinertzhagen's haversack."
Silicon Valley
"No one? Really?"
Silicon Valley
"No one's heard of Meinertzhagen's haversack?"
Silicon Valley
"Of course I have, Jared. Just explain it to them."
Silicon Valley
"So, as far as anyone knows,"
Silicon Valley
"we're still building a box that we hate."
Silicon Valley
"We need to act like it."
Silicon Valley
"If we do anything differently, Barker's going to be onto us."
Silicon Valley
"We have to keep making fun of your gold chain."
Silicon Valley
"- He's right. - It's a shame, Bell Biv Dinesh,"
Silicon Valley
"but unfortunately, that chain is... poison."
Silicon Valley
"at 7:30 in the morning, but..."
Silicon Valley
"All right."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, guys, look, we have to shred everything in this house"
Silicon Valley
"- that pertains to skunkworks. - If anyone catches wind"
Silicon Valley
"No turning back now."
Silicon Valley
"Have at it, assholes."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, Dinesh, nice chain. Do you choke your mother"
Silicon Valley
"with it when you put your penis in her butthole?"
Silicon Valley
"What the fuck? Oh shit!"
Silicon Valley
"Oh. Richard. Here, I've got it."
Silicon Valley
"No, no, no, that's private. Excuse me."
Silicon Valley
"Private information."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, Keith, where are you going?"
Silicon Valley
"all the skunkwork docs into the office?"
Silicon Valley
"Guys?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Here it is. This is where another one"
Silicon Valley
"for a year?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay, well, we should probably get going. Now."
Silicon Valley
"- John? - Oh. Uh... John?"
Silicon Valley
"Well, first, I'm changing my Linkedln status..."
Silicon Valley
"Gilfoyle, come on."
Silicon Valley
"None. That's the irony."
Silicon Valley
"- Whoa. - No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't."
Silicon Valley
"Are you angry with me, Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"I-I-I... I'm having trouble tracking this."
Silicon Valley
"Would you... take this daughter of Neptune"
Silicon Valley
"Umm... What is that one?"
Silicon Valley
"at Raviga, we ask the big, hairy questions."
Silicon Valley
"What should we do about Jack?"
Silicon Valley
"an uninspired application of your technology."
Silicon Valley
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