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Clips from Silicon Valley - Meinertzhagen's Haversack (S03E03)

"Okay. Let me show you the next location"
Silicon Valley
"- in which we would install... - Actually, you know what?"
Silicon Valley
"Sorry. No offense, but once you see one space in a rack,"
Silicon Valley
"you've kind of seen them all."
Silicon Valley
"That's what I used to think..."
Silicon Valley
"until I saw them all."
Silicon Valley
"- Our desks? - What?"
Silicon Valley
"This is where we would install"
Silicon Valley
"a Pied Piper engineer."
Silicon Valley
"Sorry. Why, exactly, would we need to be here?"
Silicon Valley
"Your sales representative promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance..."
Silicon Valley
"at least for the first year."
Silicon Valley
"So, one of us would have to be down here"
Silicon Valley
"Even at night?"
Silicon Valley
"- Almost right now. - Yeah, right now even."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. There are 16 stairwells."
Silicon Valley
"Which one would you like to see first?"
Silicon Valley
"- Oh! - You see these fucking mole people?"
Silicon Valley
"Hey, where did John go?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh shit. Did he go in a room?"
Silicon Valley
"No. Uh... probably around here."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, John?"
Silicon Valley
"- John! - Oh shit."
Silicon Valley
"We can't take my algorithm"
Silicon Valley
"and put it in a box and bury it at Maleant."
Silicon Valley
"- We just can't. - I think this thing is dead."
Silicon Valley
"Jack, look, I have no doubt"
Silicon Valley
"that your guys can sell a box"
Silicon Valley
"and an appliance may be a good short-term play,"
Silicon Valley
"but in the long term, we need to be building"
Silicon Valley
"- our full-time platform. - Gloria!"
Silicon Valley
"Could you call the fish guy and see what kind of warranty"
Silicon Valley
"we have one these things? I think one of them is dead."
Silicon Valley
"Jack, please."
Silicon Valley
"- we would discuss this. - Okay, let's discuss it."
Silicon Valley
"Take a look at the Conjoined Triangles of Success."
Silicon Valley
"Now, what do those two triangles make together?"
Silicon Valley
"- A square? - A box. They make a box."
Silicon Valley
"But I was only referring to the serendipity of the coincidence."
Silicon Valley
"Look, if we build you the box,"
Silicon Valley
"will you promise to let us build the platform when it's done?"
Silicon Valley
"We'll think about then then."
Silicon Valley
"All right, then."
Silicon Valley
"What do you... What do you mean? What are you doing?"
Silicon Valley
"Just like that? How... How can you do that?"
Silicon Valley
"By saying the words "I" and "quit""
Silicon Valley
"in conjunction together... i.e., I quit."
Silicon Valley
"I'll just fish it out of the trash later."
Silicon Valley
"'cause if you quit now,"
Silicon Valley
"you're gonna lose all your shares."
Silicon Valley
"And what if Barker changes his mind and lets us build the platform?"
Silicon Valley
"And the odds of that are?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh."
Silicon Valley
"Already? Recruiters move fast these days."
Silicon Valley
"More recruiter swag?"
Silicon Valley
"You got an Oculus?"
Silicon Valley
"- Yup. - That's a hoverboard?"
Silicon Valley
"How many meetings are you taking?"
Silicon Valley
"- What are you doing? - Eating popcorn."
Silicon Valley
"- That's my popcorn. - You have seven tubs of it."
Silicon Valley
"You could be the mayor of Popcornopolis."
Silicon Valley
"Don't eat the caramel. You can have the cheese or the plain."
Silicon Valley
"No. Whoa, whoa, hold on."
Silicon Valley
"Just kind of throw it on every now and then."
Silicon Valley
"None of that is true."
Silicon Valley
"I've been working hard. I'm making money for the first time."
Silicon Valley
"I was like... buy myself something nice, you know?"
Silicon Valley
"But instead of that, you bought a chain?"
Silicon Valley
"And you are too legit to quit,"
Silicon Valley
"eh, MC Hamas?"
Silicon Valley
"- Fuck off. - Later, Chain the Virgin."
Silicon Valley
"are gonna have to take back their gift baskets,"
Silicon Valley
"because I just got off the phone with Monica"
Silicon Valley
"and she's getting me in to see Laurie this morning"
Silicon Valley
"so I can tell her what's going on."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, if Jack finds out, he'll be furious."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, when you push a man so far,"
Silicon Valley
"I'm not... I'm not going to."
Silicon Valley
"Just... The point is,"
Silicon Valley
"what other option do I have, anyway?"
Silicon Valley
"Have I done something to offend you?"
Silicon Valley
"You know, when you and the boys picked up and went to the new offices,"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, because you don't work at Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"And you haven't let me forget that"
Silicon Valley
"for even one moment, have you, Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"I don't know what you're mad about."
Silicon Valley
"You publicly proclaimed, "I have to go over Barker's head"
Silicon Valley
"because what other option do I have?""
Silicon Valley
"What other option do you have, Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"- Uh... - 'Cause there is another option,"
Silicon Valley
"and he's standing here, looking you in the face,"
Silicon Valley
"and you're staring back like he don't even exist."
Silicon Valley
"Just to be... as clear as I possibly can be here,"
Silicon Valley
"are you trying to tell me that you want to talk to Barker?"
Silicon Valley
"No, Richard, I don't want to talk to Barker."
Silicon Valley
"sure, you can go talk to Barker."
Silicon Valley
"Was that so hard?"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, she's definitely dead."
Silicon Valley
"I'm sorry for your loss. Gloria!"
Silicon Valley
"Gloria! Gl... Oh!"
Silicon Valley
"back from whence she came?"
Silicon Valley
"The toilet, dear. That's okay."
Silicon Valley
"Ah yes, to the matter at hand."
Silicon Valley
"I spoke with Richard about the box project, and..."
Silicon Valley
"Well, here are some of my thoughts in no particular order."
Silicon Valley
"- Why a box? - What information do I not already have?"
Silicon Valley
"I'm sorry?"
Silicon Valley
"I said, "What information do I not already have?""
Silicon Valley
"I already have a five-year run rate plus a full market forecast"
Silicon Valley
"for my appliance. I have the same for Richard's platform."
Silicon Valley
"So, before you waste time"
Silicon Valley
"just tell me what concrete information you have for me"
Silicon Valley
"that I do not already possess!"
Silicon Valley
"The way I see it, you've got about two options."
Silicon Valley
"One, you build yourself the box."
Silicon Valley
"All right, I'll see you back at the house."
Silicon Valley
"Ah. Hiroki-san."
Silicon Valley
"It is a question mark made of human hair,"
Silicon Valley
"Right. Speaking of questions..."
Silicon Valley
"that a backup appliance for data centers seems"
Silicon Valley
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